Fuzzy Images Pushed Together (Book Three)
by BluePixeledRedFox
Summary: Kurt & Kerri get be together! Or do they? After a mission to save a child from the Push there's a surprise. Kerri's not sure what to do, so she hides it. And, the Push is only the front for a benefactor who wants their way, and it may have lasting effects on them forever. Then Kerri's gone. Kurt doesn't believe Scott saying she ran away, but then where is she and who can find her?
1. Getting back to the way it used to be

**[AN: Yay! First chapter of the last book! So, guess I'll put a content warning on here about the book, just hope ya'll read it so you're not shocked... So here it is! First of all... Because Kerri was pretty shielded from the outside world (since she was usually in the X Mansion) the story so far has been pretty tame. But, since she no longer has class to attend and she's out in the real world more (and with Xavier wanting to send her on missions), it's about to get a lot darker with some real (and not so real) life issues. If the thoughts found in this book offend you, I apologize, but I'm not changing them since they're what drive the characters forward. Besides, this book is rated M(A on some chapters) for a reason. SO, if you are offended by sex (hey, it happens, it's life, and besides, they've loved each other for two years! Lol), I'll put a note at the beginning of the chapter about it. However, there are a few controversial things in this book as well... Can't really name them all here without giving some of the plot away, so I'll leave it at controversial. Anyway, really long disclaimer out of the way, I hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest of the book!]**

* * *

Kurt rolled out of his bed, landing with his amazing, cat like grace and standing tall.

He walked over to his bookcase and dug out the box he'd hidden there. He opened it and looked inside at the shining stones in the necklace it contained.

They were a soft lavender, arranged around the silver heart-shaped locket in a smaller heart. His fingers closed the velvety box and smoothed across it.

He slipped the box onto the shelf slowly and turned to his closet to gather clothes for after his shower.

As the water ran down his soft, lightly furred skin he wondered if the pictures for the locket were finally done, knowing that Dr McCoy had been very busy for the last few months, trying to figure out what the group calling themselves "the push" were trying to do with the large quantities of chemicals they'd been gathering.

They were sure that even if they intended to do good, it wasn't looking good for the mutants of the world, even if the push was only a small group, for now.

Kurt stepped out of the shower and toweled off before getting dressed and making his way back to his room.

He'd just finished with putting his things away when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, hoping for Kerri, but saw Beast, Dr. McCoy's alter ego. "Ah, hallo, is zhere somezhing going on?" He asked.

"Oh, no, my dear boy, just on my way to a mission to investigate further with "the push" and thought I'd drop off these for you. Sorry it took so long, what with this group doing who knows what with massive quantities of what seems like every poisonous chemical known to man. Anyway, here you go. Jean said she'd help you with getting them set in there, if you'd like."

"Ok, I'll talk to her about zhat, zhank you," he told him as he took the pictures.

"It's no problem, my boy, I'm just sorry that they're so late."

After Beast left, he grabbed the locket from the shelf and made his way to find Jean.

Kerri woke up, feeling more rested than she had lately, and she stretched, glad that her relationship with Kurt was easing into the way it had been before, even if she still had troubled thoughts sometimes about how she'd behaved the last year.

She walked to her closet and pushed aside her long sleeved shirts and t shirts to find a tank top that would allow her wings to be free if she chose to grow them, and a pair of jeans with a hidden hole for her tail if it grew.

She pulled the shirt on and workout pants she'd thrown on the ground yesterday, then carried her jeans with her, picking up her lightest jacket and putting it on as she made her way down to the danger room.

She threw her things into her locker and went to the doors of the danger room to meet Logan.

He put out his cigar and turned to the door, saying, "'bout time you showed up, Kid." They went in to do a warm up spar before the group exercises, and after a while, the rest of the group made their way to the danger room.

Logan and Kerri went to change into their training suits, meeting again as they went toward the door.

"Ready for a real fight, Coyote?" He asked.

Kerri's brow darkened with irritation. "I suppose, Badger," she said as she walked through the door.

She knew that he knew it bothered her when he called her Coyote, she'd told him that she was a wolf, not a coyote, but he'd been insisting that she was sneaky like a coyote since they'd gone on the mission with the Avengers to rescue the Hulk.

It was a normal scenario; rescue the hostages, and as Kerri walked to the door with everyone else, Kurt walked next to her. "So, how did you like es, liebling?" He asked.

"It was ok," she told him as Wolverine was passing.

"Hey, Elf, don't you remember that we're supposed to call everyone by their code names? You know old One-Eye'll get on you for that. Coyote," he greeted as he walked past them.

Kerri's eyebrows met as she watched Wolverine walk off. "Whatever you say, Badger," she agreed.

Kurt watched in amazement as Wolverine walked out without comment. "I can't believe he didn't say anyzhing," he told her.

She shrugged. "He knows I'm kidding as much as he is, I guess," she told him, peeking at him from the corner of her eye to enjoy his natural looks while she had the chance.

Kurt shrugged off the strange occurrence and turned back to her. "So, um, zhere vas somezhing I vas going to ask you," he paused and Kerri looked at him fully. "Let's go on a date tonight."

Kerri smiled humorously, almost laughing, and Kurt smiled as well, enjoying her somewhat rare truly happy emotions. "That's not a question," she told him teasingly.

Kurt took her hand to stop her outside of the danger room. "Liebling, zhat's not an answer," he told her.

"How am I supposed to answer when there's no question?" she teased again.

Kurt held her hand to his lips. "Liebling, you know I love you," the playfulness in Kerri's eye's quickly disappeared. "Und I vould be very flattered if you vould give me zhe honor of your presence on a date zhis evening," he told her, finishing with a kiss to the back of her hand.

The tugging guilt in the back of her mind pulled as she thought again that she'd been so terrible to him and wondered if he'd really been able to forgive her, especially when she couldn't forgive herself completely.

He looked up at her from her hand and smiled teasingly. "I know it didn't have a question mark, aber, it is a quvestion of your acceptance of my invitation," he teased.

Kerri looked at the ground. 'I don't know what you see in me, but-' "Alright," she said aloud. "When and where?"

Kurt just smiled again. "Vell, about six-zhirty, ja? Und, vell, zhe vhere, I'll keep zhat to myself, just dress normally," he told her, leaning close and kissing her lightly on the lips before turning and going into the men's locker room.

Kerri followed suit, making her way to take a shower.

She looked at the clock and dried her hair a little more with the towel. It was almost four o'clock, even though she hadn't done much yet in the day. 'Only about two hours until our date...' she thought to herself with a smile.

Her smile fell as her gaze turned to the mirror. "Wow," she muttered. 'I have a huge rat's nest of hair... Better blow dry it...' she thought and pulled her blow drier out of the small, plastic chest of drawers she kept all of her beauty things in. She blow dried and combed, brushed and dried, and eventually her hair was dry. She ran the brush through it again, getting the last of the tangles out before pulling it back onto a ponytail, not sure what to do with it yet.

She went to the closet and looked for a shirt that wasn't a tank top. "But," she said to herself. 'He said to dress normally, and it's pretty hot... And I don't want to ruin my shirt if I have to fight...' She thought to herself, knowing that there had been more and more violence towards mutants on the news lately.

She debated for a minute before she decided on a newer tank top that was nice looking and her normal jeans and flip flops, pulling her light jacket on over the tank top. She looked in the mirror again and decided to leave her hair alone, since it was usually in a braid, it was a bit of difference.

She walked down to the kitchen and pulled a soda out of the fridge, opening it and taking a huge gulp.

"Hey there, little Coyote," Ben, one of the other mutants that had been in the training greeted. He was a junior that stood about six foot tall, over her by about half a foot, and his muscles reminded her of Piotr.

Kerri's eyes darkened at the added insult of little to coyote. "You do realize that I'm going to be a teacher this next year, right?" He nodded. "And that you have to take my class?" He nodded again. "And that I'll be able to torment you and make you do whatever I tell you?"

He smiled. "If you tell me something I don't like, I'll just stick you on the roof," he told her, still teasing.

"That's it, insubordination, go to the principal's office now," she pointed to the door and joked.

He got a soda from the fridge and said, "yeah, I'll get right on that."

Kerri drank the last of her soda and threw it in the trash. "Yeah, and throw your garbage away, too, no littering," she threw over her shoulder in mock strictness as she left the room. She made her way up the stairs to her room, but when she got there, Kurt was knocking at the door. "Um, hello," she told him.

"Ah, liebling, zhere you are. I know it's a little early, aber, I couldn't stay avay any longer!" He told her, stepping closer and taking her arms in his hands and directing them to his sides, careful not to look too suggestive in the hall where any passing students might give them a hassle for being overly romantic.

Kerri smiled and leaned forward, moving her chin up to kiss him.

"Oooo, go teach!" A student called as a group passed by the hall.

Kerri pulled back and rolled her eyes. "Jeeez, teenagers," she muttered.

Kurt laughed as they started walking out to the garage. "You are a teenager also," he told her.

"I'm an adult," she told him. "The law says you're an adult at eighteen, and if you remember, it was my birthday last month. So I'm an adult plus a year."

He laughed again, enjoying the not often seen playful side of Kerri.

* * *

The old white van that Kerri had pretty much taken ownership of since starting to do the grocery shopping pulled into the theater parking lot. "I don't know vhy you don't vant me to drive," Kurt said as he got out.

"Because you just got your license... And she's temperamental..." Kerri told him.

"Ja, is she you or zhe van?" Kurt teased.

"You wanna find out?" Kerri challenged as they walked towards the door. She put her hands up jokingly. "I had two training sessions today, you know."

"Ja, zhat just means zhat you're more tired," he teased. "Makes it easier for me to catch you."

Kerri pretended to think about that as Kurt bought the tickets. They stood in the line for the snack bar and Kerri shook her head. "I can't believe they want so much for popcorn and paper cups mostly filled with frozen water."

"Ja, aber, it tastes besser zhan popcorn from home," he told her as they reached the counter. "Vone large popcorn und two large sodas," he told the girl.

She handed over the items and he handed over money while Kerri took them, all the while shaking her head. They went into the theater and sat down, finding a good spot that wouldn't deafen either of them.

After the movie they climbed into the van. "That movie was so funny," Kerri laughed. "Imagine, if we could just run around like idiots and claim vengeance on random things!" She laughed again.

"Who vould you claim vengeance on?" Kurt asked.

"Um, Ben," Kerri said. "That'd teach him to call me Little Coyote, just cause he's the size of a Buick... Oh, Logan, he's the one that started that anyway," she named. "What about you?"

"Hmmmm, vell, probably on every student zhat valks past us in zhe hall," he told her.

"What? Why?" She asked.

"How am I supposed to kiss you until you melt if every student passes us making immature comments?" He asked, making her blush. "Don't forget, ve're going to zhe restaurant," he told her.

"You're still hungry after that giant thing of popcorn?" She asked.

"It vasn't zhat big," he told her. "And I didn't eat all of es."

She drove them to the restaurant and the went in.

Kurt was nervous, trying to decide when he should give the locket to her.

"So, you've been stirring your shake for about ten minutes now," Kerri commented. "I think it's about melted..."

Kurt came back to reality. "Oh, ja," he laughed. "Vell, I vas just zhinking..."

Kerri was silent for a moment, but then asked, "about what?"

He smiled comfortingly to her at the slightly worried tone in her voice. "Vell, my present for your birzhday," he told her.

"My birthday was last month," she told him, confused.

"Ja, I know," he told her. "Aber I got you a present, it just took a little vhile to get it finished." She still looked at him in confusion. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the velvet box, smoothing his fingers across it under the table.

He put it back in his pocket, deciding to wait until after dinner.

As they walked towards the van, Kurt's hand dug into his pocket again. "So, liebling, about your present..."

Kerri stopped walking so they stood together next to the van. He held the box out to her, waiting for her to take it.

Kerri stared at the small, blue velvet box he was aiming at her.

It was small, enough to be a ring box?

She wasn't sure.

They'd gone a long way to getting back to normal, but was it enough for him to think that much for their future?

Kerri took the box before the look on Kurt's face started to turn to worried. She looked at for a second. "You- you didn't have to get me anything," she told him, thinking that for the first year she'd known him she'd missed his birthday, and for the second she'd been so stubborn that she'd refused to talk to him.

"Liebling, I vanted to. Now, it's a birzhday gift, not a bomb, open es," he told her.

She opened it and almost let out a sigh of relief.

It was a necklace, not a ring.

Not that didn't think about marring him one day, just that it was just that; "one day", and not "is sometime in the the next six months good for you?"

"It's a locket," he told her as she admired the light stones in the twilight.

"It's beautiful," she told him.

"Open es," he prompted. She pressed the latch and the little heart swung open, reveling the picture of them from the formal, with him kissing her on the cheek. "I left zhe ozher side open so you could decide vhat to put in it," he told her, taking it and motioning for her to turn around so he could put it on her. He fumbled for a moment with the tiny clasp, but got it latched. "Zhere you go, now if only it could glow vizh as much beauty as you," he told her, running his hand down her cheek, resting on her jaw.

He leaned forward and kissed her. She kissed him back, and his other hand moved up her side, sliding under the jacket she refused to take off unless she had to.

He didn't think she had anything to hide, but she was still self conscious about showing off a lot of skin and cleavage at the school since becoming more aware that a lot of the members of the household did actually notice and stare at her when she did.

His hand found the bare skin of her shoulder blades, right where her wings would grow, and he pressed, rubbing in a small circle.

Kerri gasped against his lips and her knee buckled, making her stumble and fall back against the side of the van. Kurt went with her, holding her up and continuing to rub the spot, enjoying the feeling of her hands clenching at his shirt, pulling him closer, one of them breaking away to run along his furred skin.

His tail was having trouble staying out of trouble, wanting to curl around her and pull her closer.

It was quickly devolving into panting and clutching at each other as the built up desire started racing through their veins, clouding their minds.

"I thought this was a_ family_ restaurant," a haughty voice pierced the fog as it complained loudly as a group of older women passed.

Kerri let her head fall back against the van in agitation.

Kurt sighed as he looked down at the ground. He'd never get to kiss her if this continued.

After a moment Kurt stepped back and they climbed into the van.

Kerri parked the van in the garage where it belonged and they climbed out, walking into the school.

"Thank you for the locket," Kerri said as they stopped in front of her door.

"Of course, liebling, it looks beautiful on you," he told her, his hand cupping her jaw. He slowly leaned forward and their lips met.

The desire hadn't lessened much on the ride home, and now it started to grow again.

As Kerri's breath started coming fast again, a group students from the girls dorm passed them, giggling.

Kurt pulled away from Kerri's lips as they sighed in irritation at the constant interruptions.

"I'm sorry liebling," Kurt told her softly.

Kerri convinced her hands to let go of his shirt. "Me too."

Kerri laid back on her bed, the electricity still humming in her veins. She sighed as she turned over to look out the window.

Her body was still yearning, crying out for Kurt's touch. It was the kind of closeness that she knew might eventually lead them into trouble, but that they both wanted.

It was a very adult want, and she knew that she was just on the verge of being ready for it, but she was still not quite there yet.

Not that she'd never thought about sex, especially sex with Kurt, and not that it didn't make her pulse race and body feel tender every time she did, but it had always seemed to her that it was an act that adults did together, something that teenagers did while trying to play at being an adult because they thought it would make them grown up.

She'd never gotten "the talk" but she'd gone to health class, and living on the streets had done something to lift her allusions, but she still felt like it was something that if you did it, at least if you did it right, you needed to be old enough.

She almost scoffed, 'Yeah, like you magically gain the knowledge just by getting older.'

Kerri woke up the next morning, earlier than she would have liked, but she needed to go to her "class on how to teach class," the name she'd given to what she did with Ororo in her classroom to prepare for the next school year.

"Ok, I think that is all for today," Ororo said, finally. "So think of what you want to be in the class, what's important for them to learn, and next week we will look into starting to form a schedule."

Kerri walked through the hall, making her way to her room to put her things away before lunch. As she sat at a table in the dining room, she tried to think of what would be important to know when you lived on your own.

She was startled back to reality when Kurt sat down, his tail wrapping itself around her leg as he smiled at her. "Gut afternoon liebling. Vhat do you have on your schedule today?"

Kerri's heart was fluttering at his touch. "Um, well, I already did my class with Ororo, and since I had to go there, I missed my morning spar with Logan, so I should probably train, but other than that, I've got the day to myself," she told him.

Kurt smiled mischievously. "I know a gut vay to train," he told her.

"Oh? And what's that?" she asked, her heart still tripping over itself in her chest.

"Zhe high vire," he told her.

"So soon after I eat? Is that because you want me to lose my lunch everywhere?" She joked.

"You've never lost es vhile on zhe vire," he laughed.

"Yet," Kerri joked.

* * *

Kerri's hands tucked a stray hair that had worked it's way out of her bun back behind her ear.

Her taloned toes curled around the wire along with her tail, and her wings were out to steady her as she stood straight. "I swear, this is the only way I'll be able to walk across on two feet," she told Kurt as he walked along the wire to stand a few steps from the same spot as her, only on the other side of the wire.

As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Kurt leaned in, reaching for the wire. He took hold of it and turned over so he was on the same side as her before straightening. He smiled and stepped closer, taking her shoulders in his hands. "I don't know if zhis could be called standing, schatz," he laughed.

Kerri tilted her chin, looking towards the top of her head. At the ground. "Well, I'm not crouched," she told him.

"Ja, aber, ve are just hanging here," he said, tilting her chin back to him. "Not really standing."

"Well, what should we do while we're just hanging around?" She asked.

"Vell, I could zhink of somezhing," he answered, pulling her closer and leaning forward to kiss her.

Kerri felt the tingles starting in her stomach. They made their way out to her fingers and nose, and her heart beat was loud in her head. It was a moment before she realized that her nose tingling and loud heartbeat were due to being upside down. She pulled back and wondered how Kurt never seemed effected by being upside down.

She ran her hand over her face and tried to pull herself back onto the wire, but her toes slipped so she was just hanging by her tail.

Kurt tried to grab her, but her hand flailed, slipping away before he could grab it. Her tail tightened on itself, and she knew she had to be careful so that she didn't cut her own tail off. Kurt grabbed for her again, but her tail slipped off the wire, and she was falling.

Her wings opened fully, catching air, righting her as she got closer to the ground and twigs and branches sped past her head.

Kurt appeared on the ground with a Bamf right before she was close enough to turn and land.

"Liebling!" He leapt forward and enveloped her into a hug, pulling her against him. "Schatz," he said, staring into her eyes for a second before he pulled her closer and touched his lips to hers.

It was like instant electricity filling her.

Kurt's hand moved up to her shoulder, right where her wing jointed to her body. He ran his fingers around the joint, and Kerri's head flew back, startled. She turned her head to the ground as the recognition of feelings flowed through her head.

It was like he was touching a part of her that both existed, and didn't exist. It was weird. She unknowingly took a step back from Kurt, and he took it as some sort of rejection, like he'd hurt her, maybe.

"Ah, s-sorry, I-" He stepped back and tripped, falling backwards.

Kerri's eyes shot up at the noise. Her head tilted as she looked at him in confusion. What was he doing on the ground? She'd never seen him trip, ever. She stepped closer to him and knelt at his side.

"I'm sorry, liebling," he told her, not moving from his spot on the ground.

"It's ok, it was just strange," she told him. She leaned over and kissed him. She pulled back and looked down at him. The electricity was back, and her brain was a little fuzzy.

Her heart started racing as she moved her hand under his shirt, running it across his chest. She wasn't sure where the idea came from, but she scooted closer, lifting one leg over him so that she straddled him just above his hips.

Kurt stared up at her in shock, watching as her face flushed.

Kerri leaned to the side, shifting her weight as she leaned forward to kiss him again. As she shifted and leaned back, she felt something poke her. She looked behind her, but didn't see anything. She shifted again to figure out what it was, and Kurt took a sudden deep breath as she sat on the thing that had poked her.

Realization of what it was flooded Kerri's mind, and her cheeks heated more than they already had. She bit her lip, unsure, but shifted around again.

"Liebling," Kurt gasped and a groan came from his mouth at her movement.

He tried to shift away and move her, but her legs and thighs tightened on their own, refusing to be moved. She leaned down again to kiss him and her hips slid back, then again as she straightened.

Another groan left Kurt's mouth and his eyes were clenched shut. "What's wrong, did it hurt?" She asked, now nervous that it was a groan of pain.

"Nein," Kurt almost whispered.

She tilted forward again to kiss him. "Good." She kissed him, her hands running over his chest. When she pulled back and sat up she realized that his tail had circled around her waist.

"Liebling," Kurt's voice came out husky and more heavily accented than usual. "Ve have to stop," he managed to get out.

Kerri's eyebrows met in confusion. They weren't touching, it wasn't sex, there were clothes in the way and everything. But also, where she was sitting on him was starting to feel like an itch that she just needed to press a little harder as she moved to scratch. "Why?"

"Es ist- gefahrlich- dangerous," he told her, and even though his mouth was trying to say no, his hands were trying to say yes; one of them was on her hip at the top of her pants, squeezing softly, and the other one was on the back of her thigh.

"What's so dangerous about it?" Kerri asked through the fog in her brain as she drew circles on his chest with her fingernails.

"Ahhh," Kurt tried to think, but somehow his brain had been disengaged and he couldn't think. Was there something dangerous about this? It felt so nice. But wasn't it... bad or something? Kerri was too close- no, she needed to be closer... no, those things keeping her body heat from him needed to be gone- No, that's why it was bad, right?

While Kurt struggled to remember what was bad, good, and dangerous about the situation Kerri leaned down to kiss his jaw, making his brain stop working and reboot.

There was suddenly a loud cracking sound as a rather large branch broke and fell from a tree not too far away.

Kerri's instincts took over and she rolled, leaping to her feet and facing the noise, her heart thundering in her chest in surprise.

Kurt's head snapped up and he slowly stood, watching as Kerri glanced over at him with a red blush covering her face.

Kerri didn't say anything for a moment, too embarrassed at having lost control of her mind. "Um- I- sorry, I-" she stuttered, not sure how to apologize.

Kurt took her hand in his. "It's ok, liebling, I- I vas lost too," he admitted.

Kerri let a shiver run down her back, getting rid of her battle form as she leaned to grab her jacket and pulled it on. She looked at Kurt shyly as she put her feet into her shoes. "It- wasn't all bad though, was it?" She asked, her wolf tail appearing and twitching while her wolf ears laid back shyly.

"Ah, vell," Kurt's blush made his cheeks purple. "Let's just say zhat I von't be forgetting es any time soon."

They walked toward the school, unaware that they were being watched by the person who had broken the branch that had awoken them from their foggy daze.


	2. Some quiet please!

**[AN: Ok, here comes a chapter that you've all been waiting for (even if you didn't know it!) lol, just kidding, I think. But, as I said before, I'm putting warnings in the chapters that have sex in them... So be warned... It's almost two years (story time) in the making, and now it'll happen! ... Kind of... I mean, it does, but I wanted to be kinda realistic, so... Anyway, you'll see. Hope you enjoy, feel free to review, vote, or just read!]**

* * *

Kurt sat up in his bed, his breath coming fast and his heart beating erratically.

It had been bad before, just imagining Kerri being so close, but now that he'd actually seen it with his own eyes, his brain had no trouble recalling it in his dreams to taunt him, or remembering the feel of her, the dark want in her eyes that turned them to misty seas of blue-green.

He climbed out of bed and tried to push the memory back into the back of his mind. He needed to stop thinking about Kerri being on top of him, or him on top of her, or the way she smelled, tasted...

He shook his head again to try and clear it.

It wasn't that he didn't want to; it was that he _really_ did, and his body _really, really_ did.

Kurt made his way down to get some breakfast after pulling on a t shirt and pants, sure that Kerri wouldn't be there, since it was too early for her to be awake.

"What're you doing up so early, Elf?" Logan asked as he stepped into the kitchen.

He looked up and ran a hand back through his hair. "Oh, I- couldn't sleep," he said.

Logan grunted, not quite sounding convinced, and took a swig from the beer bottle in his hand. "So, you gunna join me and the Kid for some sparring since you're up already, or you got something else to do?"

"I- have to get my class schedules finalized so I can give zhem to zhe Professor," Kurt told him.

Logan grunted and took another swig of his beer as he stood up and made his way out of the kitchen.

Kerri woke up and looked over at her alarm evilly. Her hand smashed down on the button and silenced it, but her look didn't change.

She rolled over, her feet touching the ground while the rest of her laid on the bed still.

She didn't want to get up, _almost_ no matter what the consequences were, but she really didn't feel like being used to wipe the floor with in the danger room. 'It's clean enough as it is,' she thought as she stood and changed into her workout outfit and jacket.

As soon as she was walking into the danger room Logan stepped out, telling her, "hey Kid, the Professor wants to see you in his office."

"Did he say what about?" She asked nervously.

"No," he told her, turning and going into the danger room and leaving her in the hall.

Kerri turned and slowly made her way to the office, worried about why professor Xavier wanted to see her.

Had he found out about what had happened by the high wire?

As she knocked on the door she felt her stomach turn a little with unease. "Come in," she heard the Professor call, and she pushed the door open slowly, putting her face together so it didn't let anything show.

"I heard that you wanted to speak with me?" She asked as though it was a normal everyday thing.

"Yes," he told her, setting down the cup of tea he'd been sipping from. "Have a seat, Kerri," he gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. She sat down, still acting like she wasn't expecting that she was about to be beaten with a stick, or worse, Logan. "I wanted to talk with you about being a member of the X-Men. I know we spoke about it before, but I just wanted to check in with you and see where your thoughts lie about the matter."

Kerri felt as if a stone had been removed from the pit of her stomach. "Oh, s-sure," she told him. "Um, well, you know, I could probably handle being a reserve, I'm not sure about full time, though..."

Xavier nodded. "Would you feel better about it after you went on a real mission, do you think?"

Kerri tilted her head back and forth. "I'd probably have a better idea, yeah," she answered.

Xavier nodded again. "Alright, then, I'll notify you if there's a mission that would be good for you," he told her, letting her go.

* * *

Kerri leaned back against the building, watching the clouds pass overhead, but she looked up as a shadow came into her line of view. "Hallo, schatz," Kurt greeted, sitting on the ground in a way that was more graceful than she could ever imagine doing.

"Hello," she smiled back at him.

"Ah, liebling, are you cold?" Kurt asked mischievously.

"Kurt, it's the middle of summer, it's not cold," Kerri told him, almost laughing.

"Ah, aber, it is almost zhe end of summer, school vill start soon... Who knows, maybe it is kalt und ve should cuddle close togezher for varmzh," he trailed of innocently.

"Oh," Kerri said in understanding. "You know, maybe it is a little cold..."

"Vell zhen come here so zhat I can keep you varm, liebling," Kurt told her, opening his arms wide.

She scooted over and they laid on the grass, watching the clouds pass overhead, changing shapes and splitting into more clouds. Soon, though, Kerri had fallen asleep on Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt looked down at her, listening to her soft even breath and smoothing a finger over her cheek to move her hair from her face. He still had trouble getting over how beautiful she was.

As the sun set, Kurt watched, and finally Kerri stirred.

She opened her eyes and sat up, looking around. "What happened? Why is it so dark now?" She asked sleepily as she continued looking around.

"Vell, liebling, you vere asleep for about two or zhree hours," Kurt told her, chuckling as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

"Oh," she said, stretching and laying next to him again. "It's nice out, but still a bit cold," she told him, cuddling into his side.

They laid like that for a while, watching the stars while Kurt stroked her hair, until it was finally time to go in and go to bed.

As she laid in bed, though, Kerri found she couldn't sleep.

* * *

Kerri sat in the class room with Ororo with her note books open on the table.

"You haven't been able to come up with anything for the class to learn?"

"Well, I mean, it's hard," Kerri said. "There's a lot of stuff that I know from living on the street, and a lot of it is a survival by use of powers kind of a thing, and it's kinda hard to sort it out into just living on your own and surviving by eating the things people give you, or that you steal."

Ororo nodded after a moment. "I too have been in that position, and I do suppose that it could be a little difficult to sort out what others need to know of it so that you can then decide on how to teach it."

Kerri sighed, she hadn't even started thinking about how she was going to teach it...

Finally, Ororo released her, and Kerri walked out through the door, making her way to the lunchroom.

Really, it was the dining room, just as this was a mansion, not really a school, but she still had trouble calling them by their proper names.

She spread her notebooks out on the table and stared at them as she played with her food, too distracted to really do either at the moment.

A familiar figure sat across from her, setting his tray on an unoccupied part of the table. "Vhat are you doing?"

Kerri looked up at him, answering, "oh, just trying to figure out what to put on my class schedule."

Kurt nodded and took a bite of his lunch. After about twenty minutes, Kurt put his hand on hers. "Liebling, you need to eat, I haven't seen you take a bite of anyzhing yet," he told her.

She looked up again. "Oh, yeah, well, I don't know, it's just so noisy in here that I can't concentrate."

"Vhy don't ve eat, zhen ve'll go outside und sit by zhe pool, ja?" Kerri agreed and they finished their food before making their way out to the poolside chairs.

But it was too crowded and noisy there, too, so they again gathered everything up and made their way away.

Kerri sighed in agitation as she looked up and watched the crowd of kids running past the side of the school they were now leaning against. "Is there nowhere that is quiet? There's no way I'll be able to concentrate and make this thing."

Kurt smiled to her in support. "I'm sorry liebling, you sound very frustrated."

Kerri tossed the notebook on the ground. "No, just tired; after that nap yesterday, I wasn't able to sleep, so I started working on this, and haven't really stopped."

"Vhat time did you go to sleep?" Kurt asked, taking her hand in concern.

Kerri looked at the ground sheepishly. "As I said; I never really stopped working on this," she nudged the notebooks with her toe.

Kurt leaned close and kissed her. "Don't vorry liebling, you vill get to sleep tonight, und for zhis, I zhink I know somevhere vhere zhere are not so many students running about."

Kerri looked up into the trees, enjoying the darker feel their shadows gave the ground. She was sitting under the tree with Kurt's high wire in it, her notebooks again spread out around her, but she was still unable to think of anything to write in them.

A soft Bamf announced Kurt's presence on the tree branch just over her. "Liebling, you are supposed to be making a schedule for your class," he reprimanded jokingly.

Kerri looked at him innocently. "I was; I was thinking of adding sky watching to the curriculum..."

"Ah-huh," Kurt said, dropping to the ground beside her. "Und zhen vas, zhe appreciation of fuzzy blue men?" He teased.

"Yeah, there's not enough of that," Kerri told him.

Kurt smiled and crouched down to kiss her. "Isn't zhat zhe truzh. At least I have you." He moved his hand over her cheek and stared into her eyes for a moment before remembering why he'd come down in the first place. "It's about dinner time, schatz, vhy don't you stay here, und I'll go get us somezhing to eat?"

"Ok," Kerri agreed, picking up her notebook again and turning the page to one that wasn't scribbled and doodled on.

When Kurt got back, Kerri still hadn't added anything to the paper. "Here, liebling, meatloaf und potatoes vizh gravy und corn," he handed her a plate.

"Mmm, sounds good to me," she said, putting the notebook on the ground next to them and started on the plate of food.

Kurt picked up the notebook and looked over the few pages, finding nothing but doodles and scribbles. "You really are having a hard time, ja?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I just can't figure out what to teach them, besides, who am I to teach them, I'm only a year older than the oldest one of them..."

Kurt chuckled. "Liebling, how do you zhink I felt last year?"

"But you just got to sit next to Gambit as he taught them," she said.

"Only for a vhile at first, zhen I took over und he just gave me constructive criticism, only letting me sit down for zhe first class to see vhat zhey vere learning, vhen you came to be zhe TA, he let me sit down so I could be next to you, aber, after you left, I did zhe teaching und most of zhe grading again," he told her.

"Oh, I didn't realize... Was it weird?" She asked.

"Only a little at first, zhen zhe students realized zhat I vas zhe teacher, not anozher student, und zhey gave me zhe respect of a teacher, und it vorked out, alles gut," he told her, eating the bite of meatloaf that had been waiting on his fork.

They finished their food and put the dishes off to the side as Kerri picked up her notebook again. "I can help you if you'd like, liebling," Kurt told her. "I had to learn how to learn to do zhat last year, und, I've been vorking on my schedule too."

Kerri looked up at him. "Thanks, I'd really appreciate it... The problem that I'm running into, though, is this; what do you need to know before you start living on your own?" She asked.

Kurt's eyes turned up to the tree branches above them. "Hmm, how about... Paying rent? You have to do zhat so you _can_ live on your own, right?"

Kerri nodded, showing him one of the pages that had something on it that wasn't scribbled, "yeah, and the bills, and how to fill out the papers to do so, but what else? That's about all I've got so far." Kurt sat for a moment before Kerri complained. "It's getting too dark out here to see what I'm writing, anyway. Ororo's going to be mad at me again," she sighed.

"Vell, liebling, I said I'd help you, und I vill, aber, ve should go in so you can see, ja?" He asked. She nodded and they stood, making their way back into the school.

As they stopped to drop off the dishes, they saw that the dining room was still loud, the kitchen was full of Logan and Scott arguing, with Dr. McCoy sitting back, out of the line of fire, meaning that the library was closed, and that the halls and rec room were still controlled by the students running amok.

"Vell, everyvhere is full, vhere do you usually go to have quiet?" Kurt asked.

"Well, the library is closed... I guess, my room?" Kerri said.

A light blush dusted the hologram's cheeks as Kurt spoke, "vell, I- if you feel comfortable vizh me being in your room alone..."

Kerri smiled but kept from laughing. "It's not like this is one of your eighteen-hundreds bodice rippers, where just because you saw my ankle or shoulder you'd go insane with hormones, Kurt."

Kurt almost gulped as the memory of his dream flashed in his head. 'You might be surprised...' he thought to himself.

They walked down the hallway, almost being trampled by the group of younger girls running up and down the hall, playing tag or some sort of game where they raced back and forth from one end of the hall to the other.

Kerri sighed. "I don't think my room is going to be very peaceful either," she told him as she watched the girls playing ding dong ditch on a few of the doors.

Kurt side stepped as a girl almost stepped on him in her hurry to get away from the other girls. "Ja, looks like. Vell, but, ve could alvays go to my room I suppose," he suggested a little shyly.

Kerri felt red tinge her cheeks as she glanced up at him. "I suppose, if you don't mind me being there," she answered.

They turned and made their way to the boy's dorm, which was silent, and Kurt opened the door to his room and stepped aside so Kerri could enter first.

She walked in and stood in the middle of the room for a moment, not sure where to go, and when Kurt closed the door, they looked around awkwardly for a moment before she broke the silence saying, "we could sit on the bed, if you don't mind, or on the floor-"

"Ah- Zhe bed is fine, if you're comfortable, zhere," he told her.

She sat on the edge of the bed near the middle to leave room for him where ever he was going to sit.

Kurt sat down on the edge of the bed as well, leaving enough space between them that they didn't get distracted. "Ok, so vhy don't ve go zhrough a monzh, vhat vould you have to do to survive?"

"Well, pay the rent, bills, buy food, get to work and home... That's all I can think of," she admitted. "It doesn't seem that hard."

"Vell, aber, you have been taking care of yourself and doing es alone for a long time, some ozhers have alvays had zhings provided for zhem," he told her. "So vhat seems easy und second nature to you may seem hard und confusing to ozthers. Vhy not start vizh zhe first part, paying rent?"

"You take the money, and either put it in the bank and write a check or go to the store and get a money order," she told him.

"Ok, good start, how do you fill out a check or money order?" Kurt asked. Kerri nodded her head and started writing instructions on how to fill out a money order, check, notes about getting some rental applications so that the students could see what they looked like and practice filling them out.

After brainstorming for at least two hours and filling about five pages with notes, Kerri tried to stretch her shoulders, feeling stiff from having no back support. She moved around, but found no release, so she threw the notebook on the floor next to her flip flops and jacket and stretched tall, falling back on the bed as she felt her neck, spine, and shoulders popping back into alignment. She stretched out her legs and her hips and lower spine popped as well.

"Haa!" She sighed as she relaxed. She looked over to see Kurt laying on his side, watching her from where his head was supported on his hand. "Sorry, I was just getting stiff from sitting there, um, totally not invading your bed-" She said, moving to get up, but he stopped her with his other hand, placing it on her shoulder.

"It's ok," he told her, smiling. "I forget sometimes zhat ozher people get stiff from sitting still too long."

Kerri smiled back at him. "Well we can't all have super flexible spines like you," she told him.

"Too bad, it's very comfortable," he joked back. But only because it was something to say and he was trying to keep his eyes and brain away from the view that she was unaware that she was presenting.

He moved his hand from one shoulder to the other, leaning in a little as if he was going to kiss her, but stopped halfway to her.

Kerri stared up at him, not sure why he'd stopped. "Oh no, I let you see my shoulder, and my ankles are exposed, too," she joked, badly, to break the silence.

His expression didn't change from the hazy, vaguely serious look he was giving her, but he leaned closer and their lips met.

Kerri rolled closer and her hand moved to stroke up his jaw into his hair. They kissed, and the heat started rising, making their breath seem hot between them as they gasped in between kissing.

Kurt's hand moved down to her hip and pulled her against him before sliding up her side to the bare ribbon of skin that had been exposed when she'd stretched, and slid under her shirt, up to her shoulder and back down to her waist. His tail touched her leg and she lifted her foot to the edge of the bed to let it wrap around her thigh. It squeezed and he felt her fingers dig into his shoulder as a soft muffled moan slipped between them from her lips.

Kurt pulled back and Kerri looked up at him in confusion. "Vait," he told her, teleporting to the door with a Bamf! She sat up and scooted into the middle of the bed so her legs weren't off of the bed uncomfortably anymore, not sure if he was stopping the kissing or if he was just taking a moment to cool down as he did sometimes so they didn't get too carried away.

He teleported back to the bed, sitting next to her. "Sorry, liebling, it's just zhat zhis is about zhe point vhere ve are usually interrupted by people valking past or somezhing and you yell at zhem, und, I'm razher fond of my hearing," he teased with a smile.

Kerri blushed. "That only happened once," she told him.

"Vell, all zhe same, I'd like to avoid you yelling in mein ear," he told her. "Or, ve could stop, if you'd like," he quickly added, not wanting to pressure her into anything.

Kerri made a face like she was thinking about it. "Hmm, well, I guess one more kiss wouldn't hurt anything, right?"

"I don't zhink so," he told her, leaning forward to her.

They kissed, their arms quickly becoming wrapped around each other again.

Kerri felt pillows somewhere around her head and hit them around to get a little more comfortable.

Her one hand was clutching at Kurt's shoulder again while the other one held onto his back, under his shirt, rubbing against the soft fuzz there.

Her other hand was pulling at the neck of his shirt now, and he sat back, pulling off his shirt and throwing it behind him. She couldn't help but run her fingers up and down his chest for the moment before he leaned back down to kiss her.

Kurt pulled away to kiss her belly button, moving up to kiss up her stomach until he reached her bra, taking her shirt with him, then moved back to her mouth, kissing her before trailing down her jaw, nipping at her neck before continuing the trail of kisses down to her collar bone and gently nipping her again.

Kerri's fingers dug into his back as she gasped, and he felt urged on, his hands now moving up her sides. Her hand moved behind her and suddenly the fabric between them was loose. His hand slowly ventured up, surprised when the fabric moved with it. He stopped and looked up at her face to see the nervous blush that was there.

He'd never seen her without something covering her chest, but now the fabric was moving to his will...

He felt excitement growing in his stomach as he realized that he was going to see her topless, or as good as, for the first time.

A moment later the wired contraption was just getting in their way and Kerri threw it off across the room.

Kerri's head was feeling hazy, she couldn't remember or think of much beyond this close tangle of limbs she and Kurt were in, and somehow her hands had combed down his abs, unbuttoning his jeans to scratch along his hips under the waistband, and her pants were slowly being worked down her hips by a combination of Kurt's grabbing hands and his tail causing trouble.

Kurt was mumbling something in her ear in a strangled mix of half German half English, but he never finished a sentence, so she didn't know what he was saying, and soon kissed him to stop the confused noise.

Somehow her pants were gone now, and she could feel the rough fabric of Kurt's jeans rubbing against her skin as she ran her leg over his, then without remembering how, his pants were gone, too.

Kurt hovered over her, and she stared up at him, neither quite sure what to do with their bodies shouting for each other so loudly while the fog was still clouding their minds.

Then Kerri moved her hand between them and wrapped it around him and squeezed gently, making him groan and close his eyes as his head tilted back.

She felt warm color fill her cheeks, but couldn't find the piece of mind to care as she guided him toward her virgin flesh.

It was a bit awkward at first as they got the hang of it, and it felt strange, but not in a bad way, just in a new and different way.

Kurt was whispering in Kerri's ear, all the sweet nothings his mind could put together, even though it still wasn't clear enough to put them in English, when he realized that she wasn't with him on his path to euphoria and his hand moved down to help her along while he kissed her, stopping his movement, despite the crying his body was doing to feel more.

After a moment, Kerri was moaning and gasping again, and after another minute or two, her body shuddered and Kurt felt the most amazing feeling yet move over him. It was now too much gratification for this new experience and his sensitive parts to take, and he felt himself fly over the cliff with her.

They were frozen for a moment as the world slowly spun around them, and Kurt wrapped one arm around Kerri's back, rolling with what strength he had left in his limbs so that she was cradled against his chest.

When he could finally move his hands without feeling a tingle, he looked down at Kerri, only to see that she'd fallen asleep on him. He smoothed one finger over her cheek to move the hair off of it, though most of her hair was fanned out behind her, and whispered, "gut nacht, liebling, mein schatz," before he drifted into the dream world.


	3. Do you forgive me?

**[AN: Ok, as we've discussed, it's life, sex happens sometimes... And it happens in this chapter. So, there's that. So, here you go, a chapter for you, I hope you enjoy it, please feel free to review, message me, or just read!]**

* * *

Kerri was warm with the blankets wrapped up around her. She smiled at the comfort, and shifted her hip to get a tiny bit more comfy, but as she did, she felt a soreness between her legs.

Her eyebrows met and she opened one eye.

A blue expanse of softly furred skin spread out beneath her with a wall far behind it, and she realized that she was laying with her cheek on Kurt's shoulder.

'How did I get here? I remember working on my stuff for the class... Did I fall asleep on Kurt while he was helping me? I was really tired...'

Kerri felt a hair tickling her nose and moved her hand up to scratch it, only to feel her arm sticking to her side.

She froze, then pulled her fingers down to the blanket under her chin and pulled it away from her an inch. She looked down at her bare shoulder and chest laying against Kurt's stomach.

She was naked, on Kurt, why would she-

Suddenly the memories of what had happened before she'd fallen asleep flooded into mind in fast motion.

Her body froze, her hips jerking a fraction of an inch, making the soreness come back to her mind. The specific memory of when she'd taken him in her hand and pulled him to her filled her mind's eye.

'What did I do?' Kerri's eyes moved around Kurt's room, not sure what to do. Her eyes moved across the cross on the wall and guilt struck her.

Kurt was a Catholic, they believed that premarital sex was a sin, and that sins sentenced you to hell, and she'd pulled him into it, with so much skin touching there was no way that Kurt would have been able to resist the swirling emotions that had been drowning out the logic in her mind.

'What have I done?' Kerri almost panicked. 'I need to get out, before Kurt wakes up and realizes what happened...'

She slowly tried to roll away from him, but she felt one of his hands on her shoulder, across her middle, and the other went along her back to above her hip.

She delicately took the top arm and moved it off of her, rolling slowly away, only to feel his tail around her thigh. She slowly uncoiled it and let it coil around his own leg. She leaned away and let her foot touch the floor, then the other one. Then she slid out of the bed, leaving her head for last, and then to avoid him waking up from sudden cold she tucked the blanket up under his chin and slowly pulled away.

She saw her bra next to her and pulled it on quickly, then quietly half crawled around the bed to the other side where her pants with her underwear still inside were, and pulled them on, then moved her jacket carefully out of the pile it was in, looking around for her shirt.

She couldn't find it, so she decided to forget it and pull on her jacket and zipped it up, sticking her flip-flops into her pockets.

She made her way to the door and pressed on the lock, slowly turning it all the way to one side before gently moving it open an inch to check if anyone was in the hall, despite the faint light coming in through the window telling her that it was too early for any of the students and most of the teachers to be awake, most likely just Logan.

She crept out of the room, her other hand moving to the out side of the doorknob, keeping it turned all the way, then, when she was out, she closed the door, using the fingers on her other hand to make the movement towards it being closed slower and softer. After the door was closed she turned and made her way to the end of the hall.

She paused and looked both ways, seeing Dr. McCoy on his way down the stairs. She waited until she heard his footsteps on the floor below in the silence, then she hurried to her room, each movement making the throbbing soreness of her lost virginity remembered.

She got to her door, opening and closing her door as quietly as possible, as if it would be loud enough to wake the whole hall. She leaned against the door and slid down it, ending on the floor.

'What have I done?' She asked herself again, her mind drifting off into space. She jumped, leaning forward before she climbed up, gathering clothes and things for a shower, feeling that if she walked past someone, they would be able to smell it, or otherwise be able to tell somehow.

She showered for at least an hour before feeling like the scent was hidden and could get out of the water.

She had come up with the thought that she had to get out of the mansion, not forever, just for a while so she could have a chance to think, try to figure out what to do, what to say to Kurt...

Her foot touched the floor on the main level, making her way to the garage, when Logan stopped her. "You missed our sparring session this morning," he told her.

"Oh, yeah, I- just- was so tired, that I slept in, then took a shower..." She told him.

He looked at her for a moment, blowing out a wreath of smoke. "Next time, then," he said before walking away.

Kerri let out a breath of relief and walked out the door, hurrying to the van and getting away from the school.

Of course, she just wandered around without anywhere to go, not really sure what to do, or where to go. She ended up at the library, sitting in a chair, holding a book while she stared at the pages, trying to figure out what to say to Kurt, until the library was closed and she was forced out.

* * *

Kurt woke up, his eyes staying closed for a moment, a slight smile growing on his lips as he remembered that Kerri had fallen asleep on him.

He opened his eyes and looked down, but saw that he was alone in his bed.

He was disappointed, but maybe a little relieved, too; he'd been nervous about what to say to her, after all, it had been an accident, he'd been trying to keep it from happening, but somehow, it had anyway, and there was nothing they could do about it now.

He only hoped that Kerri would forgive him, and that he had at least made the first time special for her.

He looked around, looking to see if Kerri was still there, but she wasn't.

He suddenly worried that she was mad at him, and had run away again.

He knew that time was vital, that he needed to find her soon and talk to her about what had happened.

He went to her room, but got no answer, then made his way down to the kitchen, finding Logan there, grabbing a six-pack on his way to the gym. "Oh, ah, hallo, Logan, have you seen Kerri zhis morning?" He asked.

"Yeah, Kid missed the morning spar and headed out the front door," Logan told him. "You two have a fight or somethin'?" He asked as though he wasn't concerned.

"Or somezhing," Kurt said, hoping that his blush was under control. He sat at the table with a plop after Logan walked out, not sure what to do now.

It was late when Kerri got back, and she snuck to her room as though she was a teenager coming in after curfew, closing the door quietly and making her way to her bed.

She sat down, giving an almost silent groan of pain.

She couldn't believe that it was still sore; she thought it was supposed to hurt when it happened, like in the stories, it had a bit, but it only really hurt now, after the fact, and had been throbbing all day with soreness when she moved.

She tried to forget about it as she laid down and tried to go to sleep, but it still crept in.

She'd always thought it would feel different to not be a virgin anymore, but it didn't, nothing felt different except that there was a throbbing soreness, and that her body could remember the feel of Kurt's hands as they had moved over her.

* * *

Kurt stared out the window as the sun rise over the tree tops, his arms folded on the windowsill with his chin sitting on them.

He didn't have to chase Kerri right now, he knew where she was; she had her class with Ororo today.

He'd looked for her for hours the day before to talk to her about what had happened, but after searching for her for a while, he decided that she might just need some time to feel ok about what had happened, and it was hard, but he was doing his best to stay away from her this morning unless she came to him.

It was later in the day, and Kerri sat at a table on the dining room, picking at her dinner, trying to figure out what to say out do for Kurt to make up for forcing him to commit a sin. Of course she didn't believe that, but she knew that Kurt was actually devout, and that was what she remembered them teaching.

She wandered around outside for a while after that, still trying to think of a way to apologize to him, especially one that wouldn't make it seem like she was just saying sorry so she could get her scheduling notebook back, since she'd gotten into trouble with Ororo for not having it during class today.

Kerri walked back to her room, having not come up with anything to say to him, and nervous that he was really mad at her. When she got there, though, she saw that the object of her mental self torment was in front of her door.

Kurt straightened as Kerri got closer.

He'd tried to stay away, but he'd finally giving in and ended up waiting by her door.

"Kurt..." she trailed off unsurely.

"Ah, hallo, Kerri, I vas- vanted to-" his mind flew around, trying to think of something to say, some reason for being there, and the image of her schedule book on his desk came to her mind. "Oh! Give you your notebook back, aber, I, um forgot es..."

Kerri could feel his nerves and felt a little better that at least she wasn't the only one, and that he didn't hate her and want to condemn her to Hell.

"Oh, well-" she started, but he cut her off.

"Vould you come vizh me to get it?" He asked. She nodded and they went started down the hallway in awkward silence, neither wanting to be the one who broke it.

Kurt got to his door and opened it, gesturing Kerri in nervously.

Kerri walked in and her eyes somehow strayed to the bed, making her cheeks turn red with the memory of what had happened there.

Kurt took her notebook from his desk and turned to her, not quite handing it over. "Kerri, I- ve have to talk about vhat happened," he told her. Kerri turned away, not sure what to say. "Kerri, I-"

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"Vas?" he asked after a hesitation. {what?}

"I- mean- I'm sorry- for um..."

Kurt wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "Kerri, don't be sorry. It just happened," he pulled back and looked down at her. "Besides, I love you."

Kerri's eyes moved to the ground. "Are- are you sure?" She asked, meaning that it was ok, but he took it to mean if he was sure he loved her.

A blush crept up Kurt's face, but he told her anyway, "vell, I- ahem- told you zhat... you know, vhile..."

Kerri looked up at him, surprised. "You- did?"

"Vell, ja, zhat and ozher zhings... I can't remember all of zhem, aber, I could try if you like..." He told her as his blush increased. "I mean, I vas telling you most of zhe time..." he stopped, unable to handle the blush's growing heat, glad that Kerri was staring at the ground so she couldn't see it.

"I- my translation, wasn't working so well..." she told him.

"Ja, mine eizher..." They were silent for a second, just standing there, Kurt with his arms around Kerri, then he couldn't stand it anymore, he leaned down, kissing her. Kerri was frozen in nerves and surprise for a moment, but her body knew what to do, and she started kissing him back.

Neither noticed the flop as Kurt dropped Kerri's notebook on the floor, now more focused on each other's mouths.

Somehow, the room was filled with that damn brain clouding fog again, and they found themselves on the bed, Kerri sitting, Kurt standing at the edge, but that didn't last long.

Their bodies were stopping most brain function with logical thought killing hormones, making them not quite remember how Kurt's shirt and image inducer had disappeared, his jeans had become unzipped, or Kerri's bra ended up across the room with her shirt pushed way up as Kurt kissed her ribs on a tender spot he'd found before, making his way higher still.

He was lavishing attention on the mounds of her chest, making her let out soft moans that only seemed to encourage him further.

Then he was at her mouth, kissing her with such heat that her brains, if she had any left, were surly boiled.

Somehow his tail had managed to expose a great deal of her hip and butt, making shivers run along her body when Kurt's hand squeezed, pulling her against him.

Kurt had pulled away from Kerri's mouth, kissing down her neck as he pulled her against him, and the gasp that came from her lips made him nip her gently as his body grew more excited, more eager for her. His body knew what she felt like, and now it seemed hell bent on going back.

His tail threw her shirt somewhere out into the darkness of the unknown, which was really anywhere not in the immediate vicinity of them and the bed, and Kerri's eyes met his as her nails dug into him lightly, pulling him back to her.

He was trying to go slow, trying to follow the guide lines all the romance novel's he'd ever read had laid out about foreplay and romance, but it took a lot of discipline, he was finding out.

His hand slipped down between them, after all, she should go first, that's what the rules said, right? At least the ones in the books, and those were written by women, so they should be the rules...

He could tell his hand movements were driving her mad, and that, in turn, was driving him mad.

He was kissing and giving attention to her body, but the sounds she was making were pushing him so far against the boundaries of reason that as she was getting closer, the kiss he was putting on her rib almost turned into a bite.

He couldn't do that, though; he knew that his teeth were too sharp, that it could quickly go from sexy to painful and bloody, so instead, he licked her rib, his teeth pressing against the tender skin.

Kerri let out a gasp at the pressure of his sharp teeth against her, but it wasn't pained or scared. He looked up as she buried her fingers in his hair and looked down at him with dark, passion filled eyes.

He was frozen in her gaze, trying to control himself against the tide of passion and need trying to wash him away. Her body wasn't happy with the stopped action, though.

"Kurt," she half moaned, making his hips involuntarily press forward. "Yes," she told him, answering his body. "Yes, please..."

Any control or rational thought he had left was destroyed, and he pulled himself up to her mouth, taking it with passion before pressing forward and making her inhale deeply as their bodies found each other.

* * *

Kerri shifted, slowly coming to as the blanket on her slipped down her shoulder.

Why was she wearing a blanket anyway? It was the middle of summer, and she was way to hot to be sleeping under blankets right now.

Her foot pushed out, pulling the blankets down, making the arm on her side shift at the change in temperature.

Kerri's eyes flew open.

That was not her arm.

The memory of what had happened _again_ the night before flooded into her mind, making her curse silently. 'What have I done... _again_?! How- why can't I keep control of myself?! Am I a freaking nympho or something?!'

She slowly took stock of where Kurt's body was, cuddled against and around her, like he didn't want to let her get away this time. One arm was under her head, the other around her side, his tail was around her waist, and his knee was over her hip.

She delicately moved each piece of him away from her, moving just a tiny bit each time toward the edge of the bed.

Finally, she managed to edge off the bed, and made her way, as slowly and as silently as she could, to the clothes she recognized as hers, pulling them on as she went and grabbing her notebook from where it still was on the floor, making it to the door and, as inconspicuously as possible, made her out into the corridor and to her room.

After a shower she stepped out and got dressed in jeans and a tshirt, her mind still trying to come up with a way to be away from Kurt without looking like she was avoiding him until she could think of something to say without bursting into apologetic tears and admitting to being the horrible person that had brought him into the den of sin again, securing his place in Hell with her.

She thought through her day, trying to find a place to hide, if only for a bit, and realized that it was Saturday, and that there was grocery shopping that she would usually be doing. She knew it was a little early for that, but it was something to do that was away, and it would give her a chance to gather her thoughts, so she left.

* * *

Kerri walked around the store, so distracted that she was there for hours.

When she finally walked out of the store it was afternoon as she made her way to the van, taking two of the three shopping carts with her, hauling them behind her like a horse pulling a carriage.

She was glad that as she moved there was no throbbing or pain this time, and when she remembered the dark, close space, the heat between them...

It had been close, intimate, and it had lasted longer, a lot longer, than the first time, until she'd been worn out and exhausted, falling asleep easily in his arms again.

She blushed as she remembered some of the details and shook her head, focusing back on the task at hand of putting groceries into the van quickly so she could go back and get the third cart.

There was a rattling as a cart full of bagged groceries found it's way next to her.

"Here, I heard this was your cart, and I saw that you had your hands full, so I thought I would bring it to you so you didn't have to go back," a voice told her.

She looked up to see an older man wearing a suit standing next to the cart. Not really old, maybe old, but old enough to ba some her age's parent. "Um, thank you," she told him, taking the cart and pulling it closer to the van as he waved and walked away with a pleasant smile. She watched him for a moment, then started putting the groceries into the van again, knowing that she had to go face Kurt, even though she still had nothing to say.

* * *

She stacked the last box of soda in the pantry, then turned to finish putting the last of the things on the counter into the fridge.

Logan entered the room, pushing past her to grab a beer before he sat in his usual chair at the table.

"Haven't seen you around much these last few days," he commented.

"Um, yeah, just needed to get out for a bit," she told him.

"Outta what," he said. "This ain't no prison, ain't nobody keepin' ya here." He took a swig of his beer and struck a match to light the cigar he'd pulled out.

"Never said it was," she told him, stacking the juice, butter, eggs, and other things.

"Then what you got to get away from," he huffed.

Kerri glanced at him in confusion. Was he was worried that she was going to run away? She didn't need that thought floating around the mansion, making people worry about her motives again. "It's just that I'm trying to get some work done, you know, like figure out something to teach the class I'm going to be teaching, or maybe figure out _how_ to teach them anything- but it's so crowded with kids running around, crazy with summer fever, I can't get anything done, and the time to finish this before I'm thrown to the wolves, or Peter, at least, is running out," she joked, not caring if it was in bad taste to joke about the other student that had a wolf side.

Logan grunted. "You'll do fine," he told her, gathering his beer and making his way out of the room.

Kerri blew the bangs out of her eyes with her sigh of relief. It was a little of a misdirection, because she was more worried about talking to Kurt about what had happened right now, but it was still the truth about the other things that were bothering her, and he'd accepted it, so now she didn't have to worry about everyone thinking she was going to run away again.

Kurt woke to find himself alone in his room, again. His heart felt an ache begin as he thought that Kerri was upset that it had happened again. He'd worked extra hard to make it special and beautiful this time, to make up for before, after he'd managed to regain a small sliver of his brain from the hormones and fog that had filled their brains.

He stood from his bed, making his way to things for a shower, intent on talking to Kerri after that, feeling a little hurt and angry.

He walked down the hall back to his room, thinking where Kerri could be so he could find her quickly, but as he turned down the hall to his room, he saw her standing in front of his door, staring at the locket he'd given her as she held it up.

"Kerri," he said, not quite sure what to think of her being there.

She looked up, then at the door and back to him. "Oh, I thought you would be in your room still, I wasn't sure if you'd be asleep or..." She stopped, realizing that it was the early afternoon, and that her thoughts were just excuses she'd made up to stay standing in front of the door, too nervous to knock. "Anyway... I came to talk to you..."

Kurt made it to her and stopped, watching her. He ruffled his hair with the towel one more time and turned to the door. "I have to put zis avay, vould you like to come in to talk?" He asked.

Kerri's lip quirked up in a sad smile. "No, let's talk in my room this time, we keep getting distracted in yours..."

Kurt nodded and went in, putting his towel to dry and his other things away before going back to her in the hall, closing the door behind him.

They made it to her room and went in. She closed the door and pulled her desk chair over to the bed as Kurt looked around. It didn't look so different from the last time he'd been there, she'd colored the walls a soft violet color with a dark cerulean on the ceiling and trim, taking the Professor's offer to let her make the room her own so she felt more at home, there were two book cases by her desk, now, one filled with books, the other filled with knick knacks, files containing her drawings and other things, with only the bottom shelves holding reference and school books. There was a plastic three drawered thing under the mirror on her wall, and as he turned, he saw a large dream catcher between the bed and the window.

"To keep away the bad dreams," she told him when she saw him staring.

"Oh," he said, sitting when she gestured him to the bed while she sat on the chair. He was a little nervous about what she wanted to talk about, nervous that it was a bad thing.

"So," she started. He didn't make any movement, just watched as she ran her fingers over the locket in her hand. "I-" she let out a heavy sigh and looked up at him. Her eyes were sad, making him more nervous before she looked back at the floor and words came flooding out. "Kurt, I'm so sorry, I keep- we keep- I'm not trying to... I mean, I know it's a sin and I'm really trying-"

Kurt cut her off, leaning forward and taking her shoulders in his hands. "Whoa, Kerri slow down a little, vhat are you trying to say?"

"I'm sorry, I know you're Catholic, and I know it's a sin, and I'm sorry I'm sending you to Hell," the words fell out, making a little more sense this time, at least to her.

Kurt looked at her for a moment, startled about his religion being brought up so suddenly, she usually never talked about that. "Vait, vhy are you sending me to Hell?" He asked.

"Sex before marriage," she told him. "It's a sin, and I- we, you know, I mean, God could probably understand one time on accident, so I tried not to- but it happened again, and I-"

Kurt felt relief flow into him as a thousand tons of worry fell from his shoulders. "Oh, Kerri," he let out a short laugh as he stood and pulled her into his arms, saying something in German she didn't know. "Is zhat es?" He asked.

She pulled back and looked up at him, shocked. "What do you mean, is that it? I'm trying to say sorry about condemning your soul to Hell, and you ask if that's all?"

"Liebling, I zhought you vere upset vizh me, zhat you vere going to tell me you never vanted to see again or somezhing," he told her, pulling her close again and kissing her head.

"Well, no, but, I'd understand if you didn't want to see me again..." she told him.

"Vhy vould you zhink zhat?" He asked her.

"You know, the whole religious sex, sin, Hell thing..." she muttered.

Kurt smiled at her. "Liebling, God is a very smart being, he understands und forgives us vhen ve ask for forgiveness and are truly sorry. Not zhat I am sorry for vhat ve did, only zhat ve didn't do zhings in order," he told her, making her look up at him from the carpet.

"Really?" She asked.

He shook his slightly. "Never. Besides, He is zhe vone who made zhat, making love, vhy vould he be angry at us for indulging in his gifts?"

Kerri blinked at him in confusion. "Wow, the Catholics I remember... They never even admitted that those parts existed on them or that they had those urges... In fact, pretty much everything was a sin to them..."

Kurt smiled at her again. "Ah, ja, zhe very old school of Catholicism. Aber, God is very understanding and loving in zhe new testament," he told her. "Vhen I ask for forgiveness for my transgressions against you, as long as I'm truly repentant, and you forgive me, He vill too. Vill you forgive me, liebling? I _vas_ trying to do the right zhing und vait, aber, I love you so much, und our bodies got avay from us... I vanted it to be more special zhan zhat, aber... vhat's in zhe past can't be changed..."

Kerri felt as if she'd been told that Santa was real again; nothing had changed, but now, it wasn't the end of the world for them, they could still be happy and together, they just had to keep better control on themselves. "Kurt," she pressed against him, her arms tight around him. "There's nothing to forgive, love is weird like that," she told him.


	4. First real mission

**[AN: Yay, another Wednesday! Due to a bunch of stuff with getting jobs, quiting jobs, and library stuff, it's a little late, but here you go! Anyway, here's the new chapter, hope you enjoy! Please feel free to comment, vote, message me, or just read!]**

* * *

A few weeks had passed, with Kerri finally being able to finish the schedule for her class, with help from Kurt. She had submitted it, and now, was just waiting for Xavier to approve it.

She and Kurt didn't talk too much about what had happened, trying to avoid it for now, but neither could really forget, and sometimes one or the other would find themselves drifting off into those thoughts while not actively engaged in a task.

It was later in the evening when Kerri and Kurt made their way to the Professor's office, having been summoned.

"I wonder if he's approved my schedule," Kerri said aloud, thinking that that must be the reason they were being called.

As the entered after knocking, though, they found that Storm, Jean, and Cyclops were already there, seated and suited up.

Kerri immediately felt unsure. She hadn't even thought that this could be the reason she'd been called.

Kurt immediately transitioned into X-Man mode and went to stand behind the others. Kerri followed him, wondering what they were about to do.

"Kurt," the professor greeted. "Kerri, I'm very glad that you've decided to assist us tonight, because we'll be needing some of your talents." Kerri looked at Kurt nervously, wondering what the Professor had meant, since Kurt could get into any place as easily as she could, probably easier, in fact. "It's not your mutant power we need in this situation," he told her. "It's your experience of being a scared little girl who was stolen from her life that we need."

Kerri felt her face flush as he let information about her out into the room. Cyclops looked at her for a moment before his attention was drawn back to the Professor. "We've found that the Push has stolen a young girl, no more than seven, from her adoptive parent's house. They have apparently been trying to force her to develop mutant powers, from the intelligence we've gathered, they have her locked in a room in a warehouse in the warehouse district. You need to go in and rescue her, and hopefully stop some of what they're doing, since they are doing this sort of thing, it is fairly obvious that they might continue on with this if left unchecked."

The group nodded, each reflecting on what was happening. "Cyclops, you are, of course, in charge of the mission, however, Kerri, you are in charge of the child." Kerri, Kurt, and Cyclops's eyes all jerked up to him.

"W-what?" Kerri whispered in shock.

"Professor, she hasn't even gone on a proper mission, putting her in charge of this-" Cyclops burst out, but Jean put her hand on his as the Professor spoke.

"She has the most knowledge about the mental capacities of someone in that type of situation, and since we don't know the child's state, she is in charge of the child." It had a sort of finality to it. "Everyone," he glanced at Kerri here, "follow Cyclops's orders about the mission, everyone," he glanced at Cyclops, "follow Kerri's orders about the child."

Kerri pulled her training suit on, half in wonder about what she was going to be doing. As she walked out to the rest of the plane, she straightened her braid and sat next to Kurt, now in his Nightcrawler persona.

"So, everyone remember that our goal here is to save that little girl and stop them from being able to do this to any other child," Cyclops went on for a little bit longer, talking about safety and things of that nature, but Kerri was finding it hard to listen.

When the almost silent jet had come to hover over the roof of the warehouse, Cyclops walked down the walkway. Jean put her arm around him and flew them to the roof, Nightcrawler took Kerri's hand and teleported them down, and Storm closed the hatch, flying off to give them cover from the air.

The group made their way over to the roof access door as quietly as they could, but Cyclops stopped them before they went down. "Everyone remember, silent until they know we're there, Coyote, you look for the girl."

Kerri felt anger rising within her, her hackles rising, but it was too late, Nightcrawler had teleported to the other side of the door and opened it, and they were on their way down the stairs, quickly, but as silently as possible.

At the bottom of the stairs, a door opened into the large part of the warehouse, it was larger than you could see at one time, requiring the viewer to walk around to see it all. Along the wall to the right, there was a short set of stairs leading to a few doors which were probably used as offices.

"The girl will probably be in one of the offices, here, on that wall, or maybe across the warehouse," Cyclops said. "Nightcrawler, get roof-side and across to see if there is any sign of the girl, Jean, you search that side from the sky, Coyote, you watch the door. I'm going along those offices and making my way back toward the door. Whoever finds the girl first call Coyote to meet you there."

Kerri sat back as they all made their way to the places Cyclops had told them to go. She watched across the floor as people in what looked like bio-hazard suits, the ones she'd often heard called body condoms on tv, walked across the floor, back, forth, side, other side...

Some pushed carts loaded with chemicals, some just walked, some had papers, just depended on what they were doing.

She leaned against the wall after a while, tired of straining her eyes through the crack left between the door and the jamb.

She heard voices and peaked back out the crack, only to see two bulky men coming toward the door.

"Can't wait for this smoke, I feel like I haven't had one in days," the first man said, unzipping the jacket part of the suit so he could pull out a pack of cigarettes.

"Yeah, too bad we can't light up in here, but, you know, don't want to catch on fire," the second one agreed.

Kerri bit her thumb, trying to find where to hide, and jumped against the wall behind the door, flattening herself as best as she could.

The two men threw the heavy door open, slamming it into her and her bare toes, making a gasp of pain escape her mouth. The two men, who were already a couple stairs up, turned and stared at her in shock as she stared at them.

There was a moment where the world was frozen and neither party knew what to do. Then Kerri told them humorously, "I'm a wall..."

This broke the shocked silence, and the two men went into action, the first leaping at her to catch her, the second raising the alarm. "We've been breached! Security breach!"

"I really wish you hadn't done that, and now you will, too," Kerri told them, slipping into her battle form and growling at them.

"Mutant! It's a mutant!" The second man yelled into the radio in his hand.

"Damn straight," Kerri told him. "But you can call me, fear." She leapt towards them, her claws outstretched, grabbing them and growing into a giant confused mesh of nightmares from the two minds feeding her images.

The two men gracefully fainted, or as gracefully as one could while being thrown at the stairs by a nightmare.

Kerri turned, opening the door, her form shrinking back to her battle form as she entered the building.

She could smell smoke, it was far away for the moment, but it was in the direction Nightcrawler had gone. "Nightcrawler, you ok over there? I smell smoke," she demanded.

"Ja, fine, zhe alarm vent out und somevone spilled some chemicals. Zhey are very combustible, apparently," he told her.

"Don't breath anything, everyone here is in the body condoms, could be bio-hazard, or could be caustic substances," she advised them. "Probably put on a body condom if you find one laying around."

She saw the commotion at the other end of the warehouse slowly making it's way forward, feeling exposed since there wasn't anywhere for her to really hide. She started to the stairs and kicked open the first door, just an office.

She went through a few more before she saw Cyclops open one. "Found her!" He said, after he'd broken the door in.

Kerri ran to him and jerked to a stop in the doorway.

In the corner across from the door, a very young girl sat, cowering.

There really wasn't much there besides her, in the other corner was a toilet and a sink.

Cyclops started forward, making a chain rattle as the girl cowered more. Kerri noticed the chain connecting to the wall and a collar on the girl's neck. "Don't worry, little girl, we're here to rescue you," Cyclops told her, making Kerri feel offended for the girl.

She was in this terrible situation that she'd been surviving in by herself for who knew how long, and he was saying they were here to save her? She didn't need to be saved, she could survive on her own, she just needed to be set free so she could do it. "Shut up," she said.

"What?" Cyclops asked as he turned back to her.

"I said shut up. Get away from her," she told him.

"But we're here to-"

"Shut up! And get away from her, stay in that corner," Kerri demanded. "The Professor said I'm in charge of this part, and you aren't helping things." When Cyclops had moved away to the corner, she went to the middle of the room and knelt on the floor facing the girl. She looked at the ground between them, not moving.

After a moment she inched closer, then a little more. Cyclops pouted as he watched her from the corner. Kerri scooted closer, leaving her hands on the floor in front of her where the girl could see them.

She could tell that Cyclops was getting impatient, not that she could blame him, what with the building on fire and all, but she knew that this was a delicate process and it needed to be done right. The girl needed to trust her _before _she could get her out, there was no other way without scaring her more than she'd already been.

Kerri finally was close enough that she could reach out and grab the girl if she wanted to. She didn't, of course, she just pushed out calm safe feelings, trying to put her intent out to the girl, then she looked up, looking the girl in the eyes.

They sat for a moment, and when she felt that the girl was comfortable with her, she slowly opened her arms wide to the girl.

Cyclops almost scoffed mentally, but his thought was changed to shock as the girl all but leapt into Kerri's arms, and even more shock as Kerri wrapped her arms around the girl, looking much like a mother comforting her child. "It's ok, I won't let them hurt you anymore," he heard Kerri say.

The little girl pulled back and made a motion with her hands, starting in front of her face as though she was opening curtains. Kerri's brow furrowed and after a moment she drew a question mark with her finger. The girl did the motion again and Kerri spelled something out with her fingers making the girl nod. Kerri made a fist and made it nod as her head nodded as well.

"What did she say?" Cyclops asked.

"Just asked if it was safe,"Kerri told him.

"You know sign language?" Cyclops asked in surprise.

"Not very much, hardly enough to get the gist of conversations, but I know how to spell in it, it was how we talked to each other in class in elementary school," she told him.

The door, which had mostly closed while they'd been working on the girl, now swung open as Nightcrawler fell against it, breathing heavily as he entered. The girl jumped fearfully at the new presence, but Kerri pulled away and motioned around her shoulders, face, and over her shoulder at him.

The girl made a swiping motion and put her hand against her ear. "Oh," Kerri said.

"What are you saying?" Cyclops asked again.

"There's not enough time," Kerri told him.

"Ja, you got zhat right, it's all on fire out zhere, und zhe push guys have blocked our escape," Nightcrawler told them.

"Ok, then," Kerri said, looking back to the child in her lap. She placed her on the floor and motioned for her to stay as she stood. "Do you like magic?" The girl nodded and Kerri put her hand behind her back, pulling out a pair of bolt cutters. "Hold still, I'll get as close as I can," she said, kneeling and carefully cutting the chain.

She stood and held her hands out to pick the girl up, putting her on her hip, turning to start the escape, but the huge chemical induced fireball she saw coming toward them made her eyes widen and her hard trained body react at the same time.

Her body shifted into her battle form, her tail whipping behind her to throw Nightcrawler into the corner with Cyclops where she hoped the fire wouldn't get him.

There wasn't enough time for her to get to get there, though, so she turned into the corner, pressing the girl into it in front of her, her wings stretching a bit to cover them as much as was possible.

The burning was intense, searing and cooking the flesh of her wings and tail, making Kerri scream into the wall in pain.

It seemed like it lasted forever, but it was really only a flash before the fire blast pulled back out of the room.

Kerri slid to her knees, holding the girl to her chest and panting as another tear rolled down her cheek.

Nightcrawler was the first to her side, forgetting code names. "Kerri!"

She looked up at him, soot now on her face and body. "I'm ok," she said, letting her battle form fall away.

"Jean!" Cyclops yelled.

"I'm fine, I'm in front of the door, keeping these guys off of you," she called over the radio.

Kerri stood, looking outside. What she could see looked like a barren wasteland of overturned shelves, piles of burning garbage, and flames, making the high ceiling gather smoke. Kerri turned to Nightcrawler, then the girl. "Remember what I said? He's a good guy, I trust him with my life, he'll keep you safe. Ok?" The girl clutched onto Kerri, shaking her head. "It's ok, I'll be right back, I just have to see the way out so I can take you with me." The girl quieted and Kerri handed her to Nightcrawler. "Is there a way you could teleport her out?" She asked in a whisper.

He shook his head. "Zhe buildings are too close togezher, I don't know vhat is outside zhe valls or where it is."

Kerri nodded and turned to the door. "Don't let her see what I do," she whispered as she passed, and Kurt felt the girl clutch him as Kerri left the room.

Kerri saw Jean outside of the door, a little to the left. She made her way to her, staying against the wall. "I'm here to help."

"We just need a clear way out, or for these guys to stop attacking," Jean answered. Kerri looked out over the floor at the men, still in the body condoms she was sure they should also be wearing, some running, some trying to put out the fires, some shooting some sort of beam weapons at them.

Thankfully they didn't have very good aim, and the ones who did, were deflected off of the shield Jean was keeping up. Kerri knew that the others couldn't really clear the path physically like she could, well, Jean could, but she was too busy keeping the evil condom men from killing the others.

Kerri took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She thought of how they'd been keeping the girl, chained up in a cold cement room with no lights, what they were doing now, trying to kill them, or capture them and do the same thing to them, Kurt, her.

She pulled all of her rage into one tight ball inside her, opening her eyes. "When it's clear, get them out," Kerri said, jumping over the railing and letting go of her hold on the rage, letting it transform her.

"What?" Jean asked as she deflected another piece of debris.

Kerri felt her body get larger, more muscular, her nails sharpened, teeth grew into points. she was three times the size of the people in front of her, and she picked one up in each hand, throwing them toward the far wall, of course it was so far away she couldn't see if they made it, but at least there was the fire between them now. Her foot flew forward, kicking as it shifted form.

She felt the floor under three of her limbs, and let out a roar of rage to frighten the men away from her. She could feel the patchwork of animals across her body, bull, tiger, bear, she was sure there was demon there as well, but all she cared about was that it was enough to destroy what was in front of her for the moment, not caring as one of her back feet, now a hoof, directed a man into a wall.

Her hand reached out for the group of men blocking the way out, claws extending as she swiped them out of the way. She ran, chasing the men away, into the fire until she could feel the burn in her lungs from smoke and flame.

It took a few minutes, but the men decided to leave, choosing their chances with the fire rather than trying to get past her to escape.

Kerri felt something touch her leg and she spun around, finding herself looking up at Jean from the floor. "The others are out, let's go," she told Kerri, helping her up from the floor and supporting her as they made their way up the stairs to the roof where Storm was, hopefully, waiting with the jet.

Kurt watched the access door with the girl on his hip, since she refused to be put down, waiting nervously for Jean to return with Kerri.

The door opened, and the two made it a few feet before Kerri fell to the roof, throwing up so violently that she fell from Jean's supporting hands. Jean helped her back up and they continued to the jet.

When they were all on board, they laid Kerri on one of the fold out cots because she was so dizzy she could hardly sit in a chair without falling out. Kurt put his free hand on hers.

"Are you ok, liebling?" Kurt asked as he hovered over her.

"Yes," she told him, closing her eyes to fight another wave of nausea, but the word started the tickle in her lungs again, making her cough hard.

The little girl reached and patted her back, trying to help her stop coughing, landing on the exposed piece of her back, making her gasp in pain.

Kurt looked at her back, seeing a charred spot above her butt, right where he knew some girls got tattoos that were called tramp stamps. "Liebling, are you sure you are ok?" He asked nervously.

"Yeah, fine," she told him. "I'll heal and be as good as new." She reached her hand out to the girl after another fit of coughing. "What's your name?" She signed some letters and Kerri asked, "Tara?" making the girl nod. "Pretty. My name is Kerri," she said as she spelled. Tara started signing more, but Kerri was distracted by another coughing fit, which lead to filling the air stick bag that was hastily handed to her.

When the jet touched down on the landing pad, Jean and Kurt supported Kerri inside while she held an empty barf bag to her chest as they made their way down to the med lab.

"Ah here for the after flight ch- oh dear," Dr. McCoy said, watching as they helped Kerri to a bed.

She laid down on her side so she didn't hurt the burn, and held the barf bag up. "You may want t-" was all she got out before she felt her stomach pressing against the back of her throat. After the retching, she laid back. "How is there anything left in my system," her groaning was interrupted by coughing her lungs out until she swore they were in small pieces, then continued, "It must all be in bags now."

"What happened?" asked, pulling a tray of silver instruments closer to the table and opening a jar of swabs.

"Well, there were all those chemicals there, you know, the poisonous ones we've been watching them procure, and they caught on fire. And she was brilliant enough to go running into the fire after telling us not even to breathe. Oh, and she stood in the way of a fire ball," Cyclops told him.

Xavier rolled into the room and to her side. "I vouldn't stay zhere if I vas you, Professor," Kurt told him.

He unquestioningly rolled back and looked at the girl still in Kurt's arms. "Why hello there. Would you like to come down and talk to me?"

She burrowed further into Kurt's side. "She von't get down, since Kerri handed her to me," Kurt told him.

Tara reached out and clenched her hand in a gimme motion, so Kerri put her hand in hers. "Don't worry, Tara, it'll be ok," she told her.

"Yes, don't worry, we will find your parents soon," Xavier told her.

Dr. McCoy, in the meantime had run a few cotton swabs over Kerri's burns and took them over to a microscope and looked at them. After a moment, he returned and pulled out a bottle from the bottom shelf of the cart.

It was just Kerri, Kurt, Xavier, Tara, and now, as Jean had cleared everyone else to go, and as he held up the cotton swab now soaked in whatever had been in the bottle, he said, "now, my dear, comes the worst part." He swabbed the crispy skin and it started to fizz.

Kerri clenched her eyes shut and her breath stalled in her lungs, which actually gave her a rest from coughing.

Kurt took her hand in his free one, but was surprised to feel that she just had her hand clenched and that there was no reaction to the pain she was feeling.

Kerri was nowhere. Well, not really nowhere, she was just buried so deep in her mind that the pain she was feeling was dulled.

She could still feel as the crispy skin was loosened with peroxide and taken off, and she imagined the dulled murder like sensation as iodine was rubbed over the burns, even though she knew it only felt like murder when it was put on a cut, but it was like it was happening to someone else.

The back of her suit, which was a crossed x so her wings could grow, was now over her head, across her chest so they didn't have to pull it over her burns. She really needed to thank Dr. Richards for making her suit super flexible like his.

"There you go," Dr. McCoy told her. "It's no worse than if you had backed into a hot stove." Kurt looked at the red slightly blistered skin in surprise. "Worse than it looked." Kerri let out a breath, but that started the coughing and vomiting up again. "Ok, let's look at those lungs, then," Dr. McCoy said, pulling out a stethoscope. He listened to her chest for a moment before saying, "sounds like you been smoking a pack a day for years. We'll definitely need to put you on oxygen therapy."

* * *

Kurt sat in s chair next to Kerri's bed, Tara still on his lap. She really had refused to leave his arms since Kerri told her he'd keep her safe and handed her to him.

Kerri was asleep now, and she'd be allowed to leave after tomorrow's oxygen therapy, but he still worried. She looked so fragile laying there, connected to the breathing mask and her messed up braid laying behind her.

Kurt awoke to Kerri's hand on his arm. She put her finger to her lips and looked at the sleeping child on him. He looked down and back up at her. "I'm going to go get some food, turns out that puking your guts out for hours at a time makes you kind of hungry. You want anything?" She asked in a whisper. Kurt shook his head and watched her go.

She came back with a hand full of cookies and sat on the bed to eat them. Kurt tried to shift to get more comfortable, but Tara shifted and he froze. Kerri silently laughed, trying not to start coughing, put down the last few cookies and stood, putting her finger to her lips again.

She gently put her hands under the girl's arms and picked her up, switching one arm to under her legs, carrying her to the bed next to hers and laying her down and pulling the blankets over her, twisting part of them into a bundle that she could hold on to, much like it was a stuffed animal or something.

She moved back to Kurt and kissed him on the cheek joking, "she was in my spot."

Kurt's tail wrapped around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. "Ja," he told her as he caught her.

Kerri smiled and laughed quietly, but it started up the coughing fits and she had to stand up and hold onto the edge of the bed so she didn't knock herself over. Kurt stood and put his hand on her shoulder, but wasn't sure what else to do.

When Kerri caught her breath, she turned to him and handed him the left over cookies. "You should get some real sleep, in _your_ bed." Kurt left hesitantly and went to his room.

In the morning, he made his way down to the med lab, but was pulled aside by Logan. "I hear you found the girl there."

Kurt nodded. "Ja, she is just a little zhing, too."

Logan shook his head in disgust before commenting, "Heard she likes the Kid, too."

Kurt almost laughed. "Ja, she doesn't vant to be avay from her, I zhink she's zhe only vone she trusts."

"Hmm," was all Logan said before he walked away.

Kurt made it to the door of the med lab, not bothering to knock, and when he opened it, he found that Kerri was in the middle of getting dressed while attached to the breathing tubes for the oxygen therapy.

She turned around quickly to face him, holding her shirt in front of her. "Oh!" Kurt turned around, closing the door so no one else could see.

"It's alright, you can look," Kerri pulled the mask out of the way to tell him. He slowly glanced over his shoulder and found that she was fully dressed now. "How did you do zhat?" He asked.

"Easy, just stepped in and pulled it up," she answered, gesturing.

He smiled and walked toward her, noticing that Tara was sitting on the bed behind her. As he got closer, she grabbed onto Kerri's pants and hid behind her leg.

Kerri looked down and back up to Kurt in confusion for a moment before she motioned for Kurt to stop, which he did, and took off the mask slightly to tell Tara, "it's ok, he's the same one you fell asleep on last night, he's just wearing his everyday clothes." Tara looked up at him with a confused look.

"Ja, zhis is vhat I vear vhen I'm not being a super hero," he told her. Tara still looked a little confused, but she obviously recognized his voice, so she stopped hiding behind Kerri's leg. "So, how are you zhis morning?" He asked her.

Tara rubbed her stomach in a circle. "Hungry," Kerri translated.

"Vell, good zhing I came to escort you two ladies to breakfast, zhen. Und you, liebling? How are you?" He asked, still a little worried.

Kerri pulled the mask away a little and told him, "ok, a little, uh, vomitus, earlier when I woke up, but Dr. McCoy says that that's to be expected for a bit still, after trying to breath in all the toxic smoke in the building. Apparently there was a lot in my lungs, but I'll be fine."

"Not if you don't keep that mask on, miss Gaylin," Hank told her as he walked out from his office, making Kerri put the mask on again quickly, like a child caught doing something she knew she wasn't supposed to be.

After Kerri's oxygen therapy was over, the three of them walked to the dinning room for breakfast, but Kerri stopped in front of the door, looking down at where Tara was clutching her pant leg. "Let's eat in the kitchen," she told Kurt, feeling the girl's nervousness at all the people in the people in the room.

They ate, only interrupted a few times, once when Scott came in to get a refill of coffee, and once when Logan came in to get a beer, popping off the cap with a claw and taking a long swig before meandering out.

Tara grabbed Kerri's side and huddled close to her. Kerri leaned down and whispered, "don't let him fool you, he looks rough, but he's a teddy bear. He probably came to make sure you were ok," making her giggle.

"Vhat did you tell her?" Kurt asked.

"Oh, just the truth about Logan," Kerri said, taking another bite of her breakfast. "Just don't let him know I did," she laughed.

The three spent the day together exploring the mansion and grounds, sense Kurt and Kerri were given the day off so they could take care of Tara. By the end of the day, Tara easily fell asleep when Kerri tucked her into the bed in the med lab.

Kurt kissed Kerri as he made his way out. "Gute nacht, schatz," he told her. Kerri held him tight for a moment longer, then kissed him again before letting him leave.


	5. Being sick sucks

**[AN: Before we start, I want to say thank you to people who review (like Ven), it makes my day more than you know, especially when I'm having a hard day because of bs at work, I see those notifications, read them, and it makes me smile and have a better day! So I got this chapter all perfectly edited, went to save, and it asked me to log in again... So you'll have to enjoy a mostly perfect editing...*sigh* Anyway, last we left Kerri, she was horribly ill, let's see if she gets better... I hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment, vote, message me, or just read!]**

* * *

Kerri woke up, not knowing if it was early or late, since she'd stayed in the med lab with Tara the night before, since she was too scared to be without either Kerri or Kurt.

She turned her head and suddenly felt like she had just spun in a thousand circles and fallen down, like she was going to fall off the earth and float upwards towards the lights. The dizzy nausea made her grab for the bucket they'd given her just in case.

When she looked up, she felt a little better, but still felt like she might go back to her bucket any moment.

She saw that Tara was awake and looking at her, so she tried to smile.

The door to the med lab opened and Dr. McCoy walked in with Kurt. "-be fine," he finished reassuring.

Kerri smiled at him, knowing that he was still worrying about her, and he smiled back, sitting on the edge of her bed.

After another round of oxygen therapy for Kerri, the three of them made their way to breakfast, Kurt was going to continue on to the kitchen, but Kerri stopped in front of the dinning room. Tara hid behind her leg, but Kerri knelt down in front of her.

"Let me tell you a secret," Kerri said. "This is a school. For mutants." Tara looked confused, but didn't try to run away. "Have you heard of the X-Men?" Tara nodded. "They're the ones who saved you, the good guys, right?" More nodding from the small girl. "They all live here, and all the students are learning to be X-Men when they grow up, so they can save people and protect them." Tara stared at her silently, not moving. "So all these people here, they're good guys. And, did you know that Kurt and I are teachers?" Tara shook her head. "So even if one of these kids wanted to do something mean, they'd have to listen to us, and we wouldn't let them do that. Right?" Tara nodded. "Let's go sit in the dining room and eat some good breakfast, ok?" Tara nodded and they went into the dining room.

Kurt watched Kerri as she picked at her food, not eating much. "Vhat's vrong, liebling?"

Kerri looked up. "Oh, just still kinda nauseous. Dr. McCoy said it's likely to be the end of the week at least before it goes away, something to do with toxins from the smoke getting into my blood." She felt as Kurt's tail wrapped around her leg, and she smiled to him.

They were just walking towards the mansion for lunch when the Xavier called them to his office. They made their way there and opened the door, surprised to see two strangers sitting in front of Xavier's desk.

"Kurt, Kerri, this is Naomi and Tom, Tara's adoptive parents," he introduced as Tara let go of Kerri's hand and ran to the woman, who fell out of the chair to her knees, signing furiously.

Naomi pulled the girl against her, making monotone cooing noises before pulling back and running her hands all over the girl, not even paying attention to the flying fingers.

"Ah," Kerri said, the puzzle piece falling into place, making look at her in confusion. "I wondered why she knew sign language," Kerri told him.

Naomi looked to her daughter's hands finally, laughing and shaking her head before signing back to her daughter.

Tara started to look upset and turned to Kerri, running the side of her hand down her face and pointing at Kurt demandingly. Naomi stood and turned to Kerri apologetically, making a circle over her heart with a fist before gesturing and running the side of her hand down her face and pointing at Kurt.

Kerri smiled and gestured to Kurt, made the same motion down her face as the other two and nodding her head and fist. Naomi looked taken aback and gestured all around her body. Kerri nodded again, making a gesture around her whole face with her hand.

Naomi looked at him again and signed something, which Kerri replied to apologetically, and Naomi repeated herself in more basic signs.

Kerri thought for a second and spelled something out that took a moment, but made Naomi smile knowingly. She signed and Kerri laughed, starting to cough.

Kurt reached out to steady her, but was glad that the coughing was less than it had been. "Vhat?" He asked, nervously, knowing that the whole conversation was somehow about him.

Kerri looked up at him after the coughs had subsided and smiled. "She says you should stop hiding just to fit in." Kerri turned to Naomi and signed something that made the woman laugh as well.

Naomi turned to her husband, who had Tara on his hip now, and he translated for her, "she says our daughter told her that you're and angel, and that you shouldn't be afraid to let others see the real you because you're beautiful, and - Naomi, I don't know if the young lady would want us to let that cat out of the bag."

She signed back to him again, telling him to say it.

Kerri cleared her throat and waved a little before she told him, "It's ok, he already knows how I feel about him."

Naomi nodded vigorously, signing more.

* * *

Kurt was happy that Kerri's appetite had seemed to return as the day continued, and smiled as he watched her eating an extra helping of dessert. "Can you believe zhat zhe school year is going to start soon? Only a few weeks left."

"Don't remind me," Kerri groaned. "The schedule you helped me with hasn't even been approved yet."

"It vill be, don't vorry," he told her, taking her hand in his and massaging it.

Kurt walked Kerri to her room to say goodnight, and as they kissed, the familiar heat started rising.

Kurt pulled away and ran a hand through his hair. "Ah, good night, liebling," he told her, only venturing in for a quick kiss before pulling away.

"Good night, Kurt," Kerri told him, going into her room and closing the door. She leaned back against it and slid down to the floor. They were having to be very careful now, so that they didn't slip and fall into the pot of boiling hormones again, and it was taking its toll on them.

Kurt's forehead rested against Kerri's door as he reminded himself that they couldn't fool around like a married couple, not that it was evil, or a bad thing to do, just that there were other things that they needed to be focusing on, and if Kerri some how ended up in his bed again, he might tie her up so she couldn't run away again. And if she was tied up in his bed, he was damn sure not leaving her there alone...

Kurt straightened and made his way to his room to try and get a good night's sleep.

* * *

An annoying buzzing woke Kerri up, and she looked over at her alarm, the now known feeling of dizzy nausea at moving too fast when her brain didn't know what was going on making itself known. She leaned over and grabbed the bucket she kept by her bed.

She'd be so glad when the toxins worked their way our of her system.

As she finished getting ready for the day, she looked over her shoulder at the burn on her back using the mirror on the wall.

It really looked a lot better since Dr. McCoy had started having her put a type of jelly on it to help it heal, and the time had helped, too.

Kerri made her way down to the med lab for her last day of oxygen therapy, glad to be done after the week and a half, hoping that she'd be cleared to start training again.

She wasn't sure when it had happened, but somewhere along the way since she first arrived almost two years ago, she'd started liking her daily spar with Logan, when he wasn't just wiping the floor with her.

"Ok, let me just check the results of your blood work," Dr. McCoy told her as he finished examining her. He walked back to his office and Kerri pulled on her jacket, brushing her now long bangs out of her eyes. "Looks like there's still some toxins in your blood, but you should be ok as long as you're not pushing it too hard," he told her as he made his way back to her. "Are you still feeling nauseous occasionally?"

Kerri nodded, "Yeah, mostly when I look somewhere too fast, then I get pretty dizzy."

Dr. McCoy nodded. "You may see that for a little longer, but it should clear up in no time. And I like the way your burn is progressing, another week and it should be healed," he told her. "Ok, you're free, go forth and do as you please. Within reason!" He added as she walked out the door.

Kerri hurried out to the Garage to start the grocery shopping so she could be back in time for her date with Kurt. They'd decided to go to wander around town and figure out some good places to take her class to learn things about living on their own.

It was after lunch when she finally got to see him, and they headed out after letting Kerri eat something.

"So, liebling, vhat do you vant to teach zhem first?" He asked as they drove.

"Probably about how much money they can make, if you teach them how much money they have first, then you can move forward with how to spend it," she rationalized.

"Gute idea," Kurt told her.

They spent the afternoon and evening driving around and talking to managers at the local places about how much someone would make if they worked there, and what kind of things were needed to get the job.

* * *

"No, see, it's a class that teaches seniors how to live on their own, so, how to get a job, get a place to live, shop for food, pay bills, you know, stay within their limits and succeed," Kerri explained, again, to a manager.

"Well, it's not rocket science here, you can get a job pretty easy, and you learn how to do it on the job. You have to have..." he started listing the requirements to work there, and Kerri wrote them down.

When the interview was over, they walked out of the building, Kerri stretching. "I'm so glad that's over, I'd hate to have that job. I don't think anyone will pick it."

Kurt looked over at her. "How vere you going to have zhe students get zheir jobs?"

"I don't know, probably let them pick, or something," she answered, pulling her pants up a little. Her pants were fitting a little looser after all the involuntary throwing up she'd been doing.

"Vhy?" Kurt asked.

Kerri looked up at him. "What do you mean? Why not?"

"Vell, zhat's not how you get jobs in the real vorld, is it? Don't you have to do a job interview?" He asked.

Kerri looked away as her cheeks flushed a little. "Um... Well, I mean, I've never had an interview, and I've had three jobs... The last one, I was just walking by the place... Not even looking..."

Kurt laughed. "Vell, who could resist you, you are too beautiful and smart for zhem!"

Kerri laughed and pushed his shoulder. "What ever! That's not what happened!" They laughed as they walked down the sidewalk.

* * *

Kerri walked to professor Xavier's office, feeling nervous about why he was calling her there. She paused for a moment before knocking on the door and entering when he invited her in.

She walked to her usual couch and sat after his offer, and waited for him to start.

"So, Kerri. Now that you're almost completely better, how did you like the mission you went on?" Xavier asked.

Kerri was startled, it had been almost two weeks since they'd gone on the mission. She hadn't thought that was the reason she'd been called here. "It- was ok, I guess. I think I hurt more than helped, though," she told him.

"Nonsense," Xavier told her. "If you hadn't been there, I don't think Tara would have been able to have been rescued so easily, I think she would have been more frightened and would have made backwards progress. And, when you were all trapped, you cleared the way for everyone to escape."

"Yeah, but, I mean, I had to be carried out pretty much."

"Well, it was your first real mission as an X-Men," he told her with a bit of a smile. "You can't expect to be perfect at it right away."

"But, with the- when we went to help the Avengers... I..." She stuttered in embarrassment.

"That was your first time in the field at all. Besides, you came up with a good plan and executed it well, even the most experienced field agent can be surprised and get captured every so often, especially when they're shot with a tranquilizer dart, Kerri," he told her.

Kerri shrugged. "I guess."

"Also, I have gone over your agenda for your class, and I think you've got some good ideas. What we should do now, is when the class starts, keep an eye on the progress and adapt it so that the students get the most out of it. That way we'll have a tested plan for next year," he told her, handing her scheduling notebook to her over the table.

That Saturday before going shopping, she visited Dr. McCoy and had him check out her burn for the last time.

"Perfectly healed," he announced, letting her drop her shirt to cover it.

She walked down the hall, almost to the elevator when she remembered that he hadn't asked about the nausea this time, but, he had told her that it should be gone in about a week, and that was about a week ago. She thought about going back, but shrugged and got into the elevator.

Kerri stood in the kitchen, putting away the groceries, when Logan walked in.

"You about ready to start sparring again?" He asked as if it were consequential as he pulled a bottle out of the fridge.

"Yep, got the all clear today," she told him. "As long as you don't throw me into a wall or something, I should be fine. At least, that's what Dr. McCoy said."

He grunted in reply and walked out on his way to the gym. "See you Monday, then."

Kerri laughed, glad that it no longer caused coughing to do so.

Kurt met her later for a date, and they went out to dinner and a movie to get out of the mansion for a while.

"So, liebling, first day of school on Monday," Kurt said, eating a fry.

Kerri dunked her fry into her shake. "I know." Kurt dunked his fry into her shake as well. "Hey!"

He smiled at her and ate the fry. "How are you feeling about it?"

"Nervous," she admitted, guarding her shake from him.

"You shouldn't be, you vill do fine. Vhere did you get zhe idea to start dunking your fries into your shake?" He asked.

"I don't know, my dad, maybe. I've done it for as long as I can remember," she told him. "My mom always told me to stop, said it was gross."

When they arrived back at the mansion, they knew that the students were still going to be everywhere, so they decided to get their real kissing out of the way.

Somehow, Kerri ended up almost on Kurt's lap with his tail and hand up her shirt.

The light to the garage flipped on overhead, letting light in through the windshield.

The two broke apart, straightening themselves and climbing out of the van, both avoiding eye contact with Scott, who was making his way to his car.

Monday came too fast, and Kerri woke up, in the known clutches of the nausea.

It was a lot better than it had been, still for a few hours until her brain seemed to get it's bearings, but it was a lot less severe than it had been, so she had hope that it would continue until it went away.

Kerri walked into the danger room, stretching out for the spar. She'd only been down for a few weeks, and her reflexes were a tiny bit lazy, but that's all Logan needed to get close enough to throw her.

He sweep kicked her leg, and she was falling to the floor when his hands caught her arm, not to catch her, but to send her sprawling across the floor. When he was close enough to throw her, though, he stopped, frozen, then took a step back and looked at her.

Kerri was surprised and watched him sniff a little around her as though he was trying to figure something out. "Uh, sorry, I brushed my teeth a bunch, but I'm still a little sick," she told him.

He stopped sniffing. "Yeah, you can smell the toxins making their way out," he commented, making her wipe the sweat from her forehead and sniff it curiously. "That's enough for today, gotta get ready for class," he told her, turning and making his way out of the danger room.

After a nice shower, Kerri sat in the library, which was going to serve as her class room for a while, waiting for the bell to ring. Slowly, tables filled, or as filled as they could get with only ten students, and eventually the bell rang.

"O-ok. So as you know, this is the practical application of economic class. Um, so, pretty much what you guys are going to learn is how to live on your own, you know pay bills, shop for food on a budget, boring grown up stuff." She was finding that it helped that she knew all of the students in the class.

After she was done with her spiel, she pulled out the notebook she'd written all of her notes from the jobs she'd investigated. "Ok, so, what we're going to do is pretend that we're all adults." The students laughed and Kerri smiled, feeling more at ease. "The first thing we're going to do is find a job." The students were alarmed and were about the start rebelling when Kerri continued. "Fake jobs, of course. I have a list of real jobs, and you can all pass it around and decide what job you want, then we'll go over the qualifications for them and see if you could have that job. By the end of today, I want you all to know what job you want, you can do some research on them and talk about it, just know by the end of class that you have to have written what you're going to apply for."

One of the students raised his hand, a boy with shaggy brown hair. "Wait, apply?"

"Yes," she answered.

"I thought these were fake jobs?" A girl by him asked.

"They are, but you can't just pick what job you want to have, you have to apply for it, and then the place you apply for has to decide if they want you," she told them. They started talking amongst themselves disgruntledly. "Hey. Everyone look at the paper and find a job, then you can talk. In about twenty minutes, we'll go over the qualifications so you can see if you're eligible to have that job. Look for a job you'd actually like to do, too, since it's supposed to be for real," she told them.

As they read and talked, she gathered her notes for the next part, but then pulled out a book. The second class went the same, and the third, then it was lunch time, and she made her way down to the kitchen to get something quick, since her stomach was having trouble deciding on if it was hungry or not.

She made her way to the drama room, opening the door and finding Kurt there at the desk. "Why hello, professor, aren't you going to eat anything?" She asked.

He looked up to her and smiled. "Ah, vell... I vas trying to get zhese done so zhat I could spend some time vizh you after school," he told her, gesturing at the small stack of papers.

"It's only been the first half of the first day of school, how do you have stuff to grade already?"

"Oh, I don't, it is somezhing ve do to decide on vhat play ve do in class," he told her.

"You do a play?" Kerri asked as she sat on the edge of his desk and poked at the plate of food she'd thought looked edible.

"Ja, vell, not really, just up here," he gestured around the open space.

"Why don't you do it in the ball room, or, somewhere where someone can see you?" Kurt stole a chip from her plate and crunched it for a moment.

"Vell, zhey have zhought of zhat before, invited parents und every zhing, aber, zhey stopped after a vhile vhen no one ever showed up," he told her. "It vas more of a detriment to moral."

Kerri shook her head slightly. "People," she muttered. A few minutes later, the warning bell rang and Kerri stood up. "Well, have to go I guess."

"I vill see you after school zhough, ja?" Kurt asked, standing and pulling her close for a kiss.

"If you can stand to be around me, then yes, I'll see you later, and eat that so you don't go hungry," she told him with a small smile before turning and leaving.

Kurt watched her go and couldn't stop the smile from his face if he'd wanted to. He thought she was so beautiful and thoughtful, amazing, really.

He really wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

He froze, still as a statue, as the thought crossed his mind. Slowly he sat back in his chair. This wasn't the first time he'd thought of it; being with Kerri forever. He really did want to, and he hoped that she wanted to be with him forever, too.

She seemed like she did when she was with him, when they were just together, she'd put her head on his shoulder and wrap around his arm, hold his hand, pretty much anything to touch him. And when he'd look down at her to sneak a peek, she'd be smiling at nothing, just hugging him and smiling. Kurt's lips pulled up in a smile as he thought about being with Kerri forever.

* * *

Kerri closed the notebook she was working on and put it on the stack of notebooks she on the corner of the table.

She sighed and reached for another one. Trust her to think of the most time consuming way to keep track of what each student was doing. It was probably still the easiest, though.

As she skimmed and noted the paper, she heard Kurt's light steps as he came toward her.

"Hallo, liebling," he greeted, sitting next to her. "Wow, zhat is a lot of papervork you have."

"Yeah," she answered, marking a note in the notebook and closing it before tossing it onto the pile. "I guess it's a good thing I don't have that many students; if this was a full high school, I'd probably get bored to frustration and throw these all over and dance on them... I wonder what the students would say when they go them back," Kerri wondered humorously.

"Zhey probably vouldn't guess," he smiled back.

Kerri stood and stretched, but swayed and fell towards the table slowly. Kurt teleported to her side and caught her as she leaned heavily against the table.

"Are you ok schatz?" He asked as he held her up.

"Yes," she told him as she straightened. "Must have gotten up too fast," she joked.

Kurt pulled her against his chest. "Are you sure, liebling?"

"Yes," she assured him.

"You should see Dr. McCoy," he told her.

"No, I'm fine," she said, straightening. "See?"

"Kerri, liebling, bitte?" He asked, looking into her eyes worriedly.

"Ok, I'll go see him," she told him. "But, in a minute, I'm going to finish these first, I'm almost done anyway."

"Vell, ok, I guess. I vould stay und make sure, but, I have to go to a team training. Promise you'll go?"

"Promise," Kerri answered.

"Liebling, I love you, please go see Dr. McCoy," he told her, kissing her on the cheek before leaving.

Kerri finished the last notebook and set it in the stack and leaned back. She stood and pulled the notebooks into a neat stack. She took them to the desk and put them on one of the shelves before closing the library doors and making her way to the med lab.

She was pretty sure that Dr. McCoy would tel her the same thing that he had last time; that the small amount of nausea and vomiting she had now would end, and that there was nothing to worry about, but she'd promised Kurt.

Kerri knocked on the door to the med lab before opening it. She saw Dr. McCoy sitting at his microscope. He looked up as she stepped into the room. "Hello miss Gaylin, how can I help you?"

"Um, well," Kerri stuttered as she made her way to him. "I'm still not feeling well, you know, throwing up and stuff, and, I know it's probably just the last of the toxins, but I promised Kurt that I'd come see you."

"Oh," he said as he pulled off his glasses and wiped them on his lab coat. "Well, the effect from the toxins should have worn off a while ago, but you say that you're still feeling sick?" Kerri nodded. "Hmm. I suppose- that the toxins weakened your immune system, causing you to get sick... But I could definitely run some tests for you. I'll just need a blood sample," he told her.

"Ok," Kerri sat down and let him take the few vials of blood he needed from her.

When he was done, he turned and put them into a holder and looked at them for a moment before moving to put them into the fridge as he told her, "I'll run a few tests on these tonight, I should have an answer for you soon, I'll let you know as soon as I do."


	6. What to do?

**[AN: Might have lost my job... But more time to write, and I hated that job anyway lol, so I can move on at least. So, anyway, let's just get into the story and see what's happening, shall we? I hope you enjoy, please feel free to review, message me, or just read!**

******Also, got a review asking if this is going to be like 16 and pregnant. First let me say thanks for the review, and I'm happy to hear that you love the story ^.^ I'd love to assure you that there will be no similarities, but I've never seen that show, so I couldn't tell you honestly. But, I can tell you that she's 19 and he's 20, so it's at least 19 and pregnant? lol Actually, being married and trying to start a family at 19 is not at all strange where I live, so maybe my perspective is a little skewed.**]

* * *

Kerri dodged to the left as a punch went past her shoulder, just missing. She spun quickly to avoid another punch and landed a kick in Logan's side, enough to make him half step to the side. "Ha! Victory!" She exclaimed. "I made you move!"

"Eh," Logan grunted as he lit up a cigar.

"I did," she insisted.

"Don't know if it counts, wasn't even a whole step," he teased her in his grumblely voice, even though it was the same level of seriousness in his tone he always had.

"Ok, then, if you don't think it counts, guess I'll just have to keep going," Kerri said with a shrug as she moved into her position.

"Time to quit anyway," he told her.

"Fine," she told him."But next time, we'll put a chalk outline down around your feet and see how much you move," she almost poked her tongue out at him as she teased.

She showered in the locker room and pulled on her jeans and tank top, pulling on her light jacket over top. She was braiding her hair in the elevator on her way out to do the grocery shopping, but as she was almost across the front hall, Ben stopped her.

"Hey, Coyote." She turned to him with a glare. "The Doc said he wanted to see you, something about test results."

"Ok, thanks," Kerri said, turning and heading back to the med lab.

She knocked and opened the door to see Dr. McCoy again at the microscope. "Um, hi," she greeted as she made her way over to him. "I heard you had some results for me?"

"I do indeed," he answered, turning in the chair and standing. "Great news, actually. The toxins are out of your system completely."

"But," Kerri started, a little confused. "I mean- the dizziness and puking, even today..."

"Yes, I was a little confused, as well, but I did notice a large spike in something. At first I thought it was something to do with your mutation, as we've seen that before, but just in case I, of course, ran a test and found that it was a hormone."

"Ok..." Kerri's eyebrows raised a little as she wondered what this had to do with her dizziness.

"Well, I looked into it and found that it was hCG," he told her.

"What's that?" She asked.

"It stands for human chorionic gonadotropin," he told her, but her look of confusion didn't change. "It's the human pregnancy hormone."

Ice. That's what Kerri felt wash over her. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.

Shock was still flooding over her when she finally managed to mumble, "w-what..."

"The pregnancy hormone," he repeated with a smile. "Congratulations, miss Gaylin. And to Kurt, too, I'm sure," he chuckled.

"H-how..." The word leaked out of her mouth as she looked around in a daze.

"Well, miss Gaylin, I'd think you already know that," Dr. McCoy said, holding back a laugh until he saw that she was really having trouble.

He pulled his chair over to her and sat her in it as she sputtered, "I- didn't... We didn't... It's not... No..."

Dr. McCoy stilled in surprise. "You didn't, you mean... Are you saying that this is immaculate-"

"Oh! N-no..." Kerri shook her head. "Just- I don't know- I don't know what to do!" Tears started pouring down her cheeks. "What am I going to do?! I'm only nineteen, there's no way I'm ready for this...!"

Dr. McCoy put his hand on her back. "It- it'll be ok," he told her, shaken up a little because he'd never seen her cry before, even when Kurt was in critical condition in one of the beds against the wall. But, he reminded himself, she does have a high level of hormones playing with her emotions.

Kerri buried her face in her hands. Life was coming to an end. She had not only ruined her life, but Kurt's too. Tears flowed through her fingers and sobs wracked her body, the whole time, she just kept repeating, "what am I going to do, what am I going to do..."

"Don't worry," Dr. McCoy tried to comfort her. "It will be ok. Do you want me to go get Kurt?"

Kerri suddenly sobered. "No! I mean, no, I- well- what if I don't keep it... Why tell him..."

Dr McCoy leaned back in shock. "What do you mean?"

Kerri wiped the tears from her eyes roughly. "I mean; this is too big, there's no way either one of us is ready for this... And adoption isn't an option, mutants aren't excepted in society, and I've been there, living on the streets, not excepted by anyone, I could never condemn anyone else to that life... So the only thing left... Is an... abortion..."

Dr McCoy was silent for a moment. "But, Kerri, you don't know how Kurt feels about this- and certainly there are other options to consider. At least think about it before you decide. Remember, it's not just your decision, there was another party to the creation."

Kerri shook her head. "I don't-"

"Kerri," he interrupted. "I respect your right to make a decision, I just want to urge you to think of all of the possibilities first, I'm sure there's still time to make a decision... Do you know- how far along you are?" He asked.

Kerri thought, counting on her hands. "About, um... Five weeks? Oh God, five weeks... Is there really still time?" She asked.

"Yes, there is still time, just think about the options." He put his had on her shoulder again. "Until you decide, though, you should go to the doctor, to make sure the fetus is healthy."

"Maybe," Kerri answered. "I- I have to go now..." She stood and started for the door, but paused. "Just, please don't tell Kurt," she said. "Not until I know what's happening... Please..."

"Don't worry, my lips are as sealed as Fort Knox," he assured her as he watched her leave.

She made her way up stairs, out to the garage, not noticing anyone as she passed, she made it all the way to the store and parked in auto pilot.

She turned the motor off and looked up at the store. It was a little away, mostly blocked from her view by the cars around her.

She turned back to the steering wheel and felt tears creeping out of the corners of her eyes again. She laid her head on her arms on the wheel.

It was a few minutes before she'd calmed down a little, but she still felt the unsureness and despair hanging over her.

A knocking on the window startled her. She looked up to see an older man in a suit.

"Are you ok young lady?" He asked through the window.

Kerri didn't know what to say for a moment. He seemed familiar, but she wasn't sure where she'd seen him before. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine..."

"Are you sure, one wouldn't think crying alone in a parking lot would be ok," he asked, the concern showing in his voice.

Kerri was a little uneasy, this situation felt awkward to her, the forced conversation that she was having to make, the thought that if he knew that she was a mutant he would most likely be trying to hurt her, made her a little uneasy. "Yeah, fine," she told him, trying to think of a way to get out of the situation. "Just, um, you know, pregnancy makes your hormones crazy, I guess..."

The man's expression turned unsure as he stared at her in surprise. She smiled and tried to laugh it off as she pushed the door open, making her escape, but she was sure that behind the man's surprise, there was judgment. Or at least would be if he knew more about her situation.

It took a while to make her way through the store and collect all the food, go through the check out, and back to the van. When she got there, she saw that the man from before was gone, but she shouldn't be surprised, after all, she'd been in there for at least a few hours, and no matter how nice the man was, he was surely not going to wait around for who knew how long until she came out.

She stuffed all of the groceries into the van and drove the longest way she could think of back to the mansion so she could have little more time to think.

When she had gotten everything into the kitchen and started putting it away, she finally felt like she wasn't going to cry any more.

She put everything away as quickly as she could and made her way to her room, needing more time alone.

At about lunch time, there was a knocking at her door. She looked up, not sure what to do. "Um, who's there?" She asked.

"It's me, liebling,are you ready for lunch? You veren't down zhere already, so I came to get you," he told her.

Panic flowed through her, worried that he might somehow find out she was pregnant just by talking to her. "Oh, I- ate already, while I was out," she told him, feeling a sting at the lie.

"Ok, vell, vould you like to join me after lunch? Ve could do somezhing fun, like maybe the high wire?" He asked. "You are getting very much besser at es."

Dizziness tinged Kerri's mind at being up that high. "N-no thanks, I'm going to be working on my lesson plan for Monday..."

"Are you sure you're ok, liebling?" He asked, sounding worried.

"I'm fine, just a little tired," she tried to sound confident as she told him.

"Vell... Ok, good night, liebling," he said through the door.

Kerri felt awful about avoiding Kurt, but she wasn't sure what else to do right then, she needed some more time to herself, to figure out what to do.

The morning light brightened Kerri's room, making her close her eyes against a wave of nausea. She hadn't been able to sleep all night, just dozing here and there, and she really was tired now. She finally fell asleep a little after that, and when she woke up it was past lunch time and she was starving.

She snuck down to the kitchen and found something to ease her stomach.

She looked down and stared at her stomach. She couldn't believe that there was something there. She poked herself with a finger, not sure what to think. She didn't feel like there was something there, could it really be true? Maybe it was a mistake? Maybe she did have a high level of hormones, but those were always present in the human body...

Maybe it was just a little high because she was close to her period. Which she'd thought she'd had a few weeks ago, and was about due for again. She knew that the hormones of the body went a little weird right before a period, it was the body getting ready for a baby if there was going to be one. Maybe that was it...

She sighed as she pulled at the waist band of her jeans, which had become a little snug.

Right, and pigs could fly.

She could rationalize all she wanted, but Dr. McCoy had said she had a spike in the hormone.

But, wait, there was no way he'd tested her for pregnancy, right? She had a feeling that he didn't keep those kind of tests just laying around. Maybe she really wasn't pregnant. Maybe she just needed a home pregnancy test...

She ate what she could stomach of her sandwich and hurried to the garage.

"Hey, where you goin', Kid?" Logan asked as she passed him.

"Just running to the store," she told him.

"You just went shopping yesterday," He told her, somewhat suspiciously.

"Well, yeah, for groceries, I'm not getting those now," she said, leaving him in the hall as she made her way to the garage.

She drove to the store she usually went to, but circled and went in another direction.

It was strange; she was nineteen, technically do whatever she pleased with her body, but she felt embarrassed that she needed to pick something like this up, like they would be judging her for what she was buying.

She found a store that she hadn't gone to before, one that was just a small little place and had a pharmacy. She went in and stood nervously in front of the area with the tampons, pads, condoms, and pregnancy tests.

She stared at the condoms for a moment, feeling her face heat.

If only they'd used something like that, then she wouldn't be here now...

'But,' she remembered, 'I didn't even think of anything like that, and Kurt is a Catholic, and they don't believe in contraception... Or abortion...' She almost felt like crying again.

Through the tears she grabbed one of the boxes containing three pregnancy tests and headed to the register.

She waited until her turn and put the box on the counter. The woman looked at her and rang the box up. "That'll be thirty ninety-eight." Kerri threw thirty-one on the counter and grabbed the bag containing her item and hurried off. "Hey, don't you want your change?" The woman asked.

"Leave it in the take a penny jar," Kerri called over her shoulder as she walked out the door.

She climbed into the van and drove back to the mansion. She sat in the van for a minute, trying to figure out how to get the tests into the building, without even considering that no one would probably notice what was in the bag, or that they probably wouldn't care.

Kerri ended up stuffing the box into her waistband and hurrying upstairs to the girl's dorm and to her room.

She opened the box and pulled out the instructions, reading them over and over, just to make sure before she used one of them. Then she tucked the three of them into her pocket and went to the bathroom.

She didn't really need to go, so she ended up drinking water from the sink and jumping up and down a bit to stimulate her bladder.

She pulled the watch out of her pocket and saw that it was almost dinner time. What was she going to say to Kurt? She couldn't just pretend that she wasn't hungry and was too tired to see him again, he'd start really worrying, and then he'd probably go check with Dr. McCoy to see if she'd gone to see him.

Kerri finally had to go, so she pulled out the test and took it.

Waiting was hard, one of the hardest things she'd ever done. It was one of the longest waits, as well. As though the watch she was staring at would refuse to move or would go backwards.

Finally the few minutes was up, and she took a breath before she picked it up.

'It's going to be negative,' she thought. 'Negative. Think negative thoughts...' She looked down at the plastic stick and saw a line, that one was the control line, the one that meant the test was working. She looked at the other window and saw two lines.

"Two lines?" She muttered. They weren't a plus, just two lines. She grabbed the package the stick had come in and put it back in it to carry to her room. She hurried down the hall and got to her room, closing the door behind her. She pulled the instructions out of the box, throwing the box on the floor, and skimming to the part on how to read it. "Two lines, two lines... Ah, two lines... Positive?!"

She jumped guiltily as there was a knocking on her door. "Kerri, are you in zhere?"

Kerri stuffed the used test into the box and the box into the bag, and the bag in to the closet. "Yeah, I'm here," she answered.

"I haven't seen you all day, are you alright?" Kurt asked through the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just, went out for a bit," she answered, trying to sound normal.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm fine," she told him, closing the closet and opening the door, trying not to look flustered.

"Vell, ok, are you ready to go down to dinner?" He asked.

"Yep, sure am." She took his arm and they went to the dining room.

"Wow, liebling, you must be very zhursty," Kurt laughed.

Kerri smiled and said, "yeah, uh, just really thirsty today." She could _not _tell him that she was drinking a lot so she could take another pregnancy test.

Kurt smiled and wrapped his tail around Kerri's leg. He took her hand in his and held it to his cheek.

Kerri blushed and Kurt smiled more at her.

He would probably make a wonderful dad, when the time came. Guilt pressed against her stomach, and she put her hand on it absently. She smoothed her hand across it, and paranoia pricked as she realized what she was doing.

Would he notice? Would he figure it out? She hoped it was a small enough gesture that he hadn't noticed.

After a moment, Kurt put her hand down and stood. "I'll be right back, liebling. Time for dessert," he smiled and made his way toward the buffet of food.

She sat, worrying and waiting until he came back, holding four small bowls of pudding.

"Two for you, und two for me," he sat them down and handed her a spoon with his tail.

"Two of them?" She asked, the paranoia back that he'd found out.

"Ja, vell, I know zhat you love zhe pudding, und it's gute to see you eating again, after being sick for so long," he told her. She smiled and they ate their pudding.

"Vould you like to go for a valk, liebling?" he asked as they took their dishes up to the return.

"Um, well, I have to go to the bathroom first..." Kerri admitted.

"I'm not surprised, after all zhat drink," Kurt laughed.

"Yeah," Kerri agreed.

"After you go to zhe bazhroom, zhen?" He asked.

Kerri was trying not to dance to hold it. "Y-yeah," she agreed so he'd let her go and almost ran to the girl's dormitory bathroom.

She hurried and pulled one of the tests out of her pocket. She was dancing a little as she opened it. Finally she could go and she sighed in relief.

She sat the test on the sink and washed her hands a couple times, then pulled out the watch from her pocket and stared at it. Her attention was divided between the door, her watch, and the test sitting on the sink. She was worried that Kurt would get impatient as she waited for the test to finish to results.

The time ticked by, going a little faster now that she had something else to worry about as well. Her heart was pounding as she worried that if Kurt got too worried, he might teleport in and see the test.

Finally she looked back to the watch and the minutes were over. She picked up the stick again and looked at the results window. Her eyes clenched closed and her head tilted back for a moment before she looked down at the control window. It had worked, which meant that this test was positive as well.

Kerri put the test back into it's bag and hurried to her room before Kurt got suspicious and came for her. She stuffed the test in the box with the other one and hid it back in her closet before she hurried out and closed her door behind her.

Positive. Positive. They were positive. No, there was such a thing as a false positive. And a malfunctioning test...

The refusal of truth and desperation might have been funny some other time, but right now, as she was getting closer to Kurt, who she was trying to keep the secret from, it was heavy.

They walked, and Kerri tried to act normally, but guilt and paranoia were making her worry self consciously.

"So, did you go see Dr. McCoy?" He asked.

"Yes," she answered. "He said that the toxins are out of my system," she tried to give as much truth as she could to lessen the guilt.

"Great!" He smiled, then it fell a little. "Aber, vhat about you almost falling?"

Kerri looked over at him. "I told you; I just stood up and stretched too fast. I'm fine, really." 'Aside from something growing in me like a parasite...' she thought.

"Gute, I'm glad," he told her, kissing her hand and making her blush at his sweetness.

Kerri laid in her bed that night, not sure what to do. She planned to take the last test in the morning, but she had a feeling she knew how it would come out. "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt," she whispered to herself.

Kurt woke up to the sun lighting his room. Since he'd figured out that he wanted to stay with Kerri forever, he'd felt happy, unable to stop thinking about it. He really wanted to hold her close to him forever, and the thought always made him smile.

He climbed out of bed and dressed, hoping that he'd get to see Kerri for a moment before classes started, even though he knew that she'd most likely still be asleep.

He was surprised, though, to see her walking down the hall toward her room, chewing her lip and holding onto the side of her shorts, looking as though she was lost in space. "Kerri, vhat are you doing up so early?" He asked, trying not to notice how sexy she looked in just a tank top and short sleeping shorts, she almost seemed to radiate beauty.

A voice broke through the clouds over her thoughts, making her body stop and switch gears from depressed acceptance to near apocalyptic panic. "Huuuuhh, hi, what are you doing over here?" She asked, holding tighter to the side of her shorts where the last of the three pregnancy tests was hidden.

"Oh, I just zhought I'd come see if you vere avake yet, if you vanted to join me for breakfast, you know," he trailed off.

Kerri tried to smile. "Yeaah, sure, um, just let me get dressed first," she said, ducking into her room and closing the door, now realizing how loud her heartbeat had been.

She threw the test into the box, wrapped the box up in the bag and hid it in her closet in the garbage can before pulling on some jeans and a shirt and brushing her hair again.

She'd woken up extra early, sure that no one would be around to see her making her way to the bathroom, and it had worked, even most of the way back, but she'd never expected to see Kurt in the girl's dorms.

She opened the door and closed it behind her, smiling at Kurt nervously. He smiled back and reached for her hand. "You are even more beautiful zhan normal, liebling," he told her.

Kerri blushed and gave him her hand, which he kissed and tucked under his arm as he lead the way to the kitchen.

* * *

"Hey, teach," one of the student s caught Kurt's attention. "You're really zoning out today," he commented.

Kurt smiled up at the class. "Sorry, about zhat, let's get on vizh our lesson, ja?" He stood and started teaching the lesson that was planned. He was a little embarrassed at being caught; he'd been drifting off in space, day dreaming about Kerri, and being with her.

He kept himself together until after school was over, even though he started drifting to her every moment there wasn't something else occupying his mind.

As he walked down the hall to the dining room, he stopped in the kitchen, greeting Logan as he saw him.

"What's with the stupid look, Elf?" Logan greeted back.

"Oh, nozhing," Kurt told him, wiping the smile from his face.

"Right. You're thinking about the Kid like a love struck puppy, ain't ya," Logan huffed as he blew a wreath of smoke and to a chugging swallow of his bottle of beer. Kurt turned away, hiding his face. "Uh-huh," Logan commented.

Kurt made his way out to the dining room and looked around, spotting Kerri sitting at one of the tables staring out of the window with her hand on her stomach and food left untouched.

He paused and watched her for a moment, enjoying watching her when she wasn't paying attention.

He could almost picture her, sitting in a chair, looking outside, greeting him as he came to her, maybe in a few years she'd even be a little plump, her stomach growing larger as their child grew inside...

Of course, he was sure that he shouldn't have any children, after all, he was lucky to have the people at the circus growing up, and everyone at the mansion now, but, every time he left these havens, he always remembered; how cruel humans were, how distrusting to anything different...

And since it seemed blue skin ran in his family, he was sure that no child of his would ever feel accepted...

He shook his head, his face burning as he walked over to her and sat down with his soda. "Hallo, liebling," he greeted.

Kerri was startled out of her reverie as she looked up at him. "Oh, hi Kurt," she greeted. She almost smiled, but then the realization of the secret beneath her hand poured the guilt anew.

Kurt's tail wrapped around her leg, and he took her hand. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Not really," she answered. "Just enjoying the outside world," she told him, thinking, 'trying to forget about the mess I'm in... we're in... you're in too, and you don't even know...' Kerri covered her mouth with her hand, pretending the pre sob gasp was a yawn.

"So, vould you razher go out und valk?" He asked.

Kerri shook her head, "I'm too tired to go walking, especially on one of your long walks." She was surprised to find how tired she was, even though she didn't really feel like she had done anything.

"Come on," he took her hand and pulled her up, taking her outside. They walked along the side of the school for a ways until Kerri stopped Kurt and sat down.

They sat for a while, before Kerri yawned, prompting Kurt to say, "wow, you really are tired."

"Mm-hmm," Kerri hummed, leaning against him sleepily.

Kurt pulled her close, holding her against his chest, the way he'd wanted to since the first time he'd woken up after they'd given themselves to each other.

"Kurt, you're so soft and warm," she told him.

He held her closer, brushing his lips across her cheek. "I'm glad to keep you varm. I love you, liebling," he whispered to her.

"I love you too, Kurt." She cuddled closer against him. "It's time for bed, I think; I'm falling asleep on you."

"I'll let you," he told her, stroking her hair. "Aber, if you really vant to go to bed, I'll understand."

"I_ have_ to go to bed, there's school tomorrow..." she told him

"Vell, ok, I guess. Let's go in, zhen," Kurt said, standing and pulling her up.

Kerri leaned against him. "I'm too tired to walk all the way back there, I told you I was too tired for a walk."

"It's ok, I'll take you," Kurt told her. He pulled her closer into his arms, enjoying how she felt against him. He could almost imagine, holding her close like this and being together forever...

He teleported them to her room, holding her close for another moment.

Kerri stayed against Kurt for a moment longer, wishing she didn't have this secret to keep from him, that they could just be together.

She could get rid of it, the embryo that who knew if it even had a chance of reaching complete enough to be born, after all, Kurt was a mutant, and so was she, if their DNA was too warped to make a whole, it would just end anyway.

But she wasn't sure she wanted to wait long enough to find out. Even if there was nothing wrong with it and it grew into a live child, they- she- wasn't ready for a step this big. And if she tried to adopt the child away, it would probably end up living an unloved, unwanted life in the street, and she couldn't allow that to happen. That was no life for anyone.

Kurt pulled back and looked down at Kerri's face. "Kerri, vhy are you crying?" he asked, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

Kerri wiped her eyes and looked at the carpet. "N-no reason, just tired. I love you Kurt, good night..."

"I love you too, liebling, have a good night, und... Feel better, ja?" He told her, tenderly wiping her cheek before kissing it.

Kerri nodded and went into her room. 'Stupid hormones,' she thought. 'They're going to give me away...' She had to make a decision fast, or else her cover would be blown and she'd be pressed into someone else's way of thinking without a real choice.


	7. A decision is made

**[AN: So, they finally let me know (after suspending me to "review my employment") that they decided to not keep me. The funny thing is that I went into work the day they suspended me and was wishing I had vacation time, because I really needed some real time off. Then they sent me home early, I wasn't complaining. In fact, as I've joked before, I thought I was going to get fired Sunday or Monday, and made it all the way 'til Tuesday morning! lol. Anyway, let's get out of the real world and into the fake world. Here's your chapter, I hope you enjoy it, feel free to review, message me or just read!]**

* * *

Kerri looked in the toilet at what she'd eaten the night before.

She really wouldn't miss this every morning.

After flushing the toilet and brushing her teeth, she stared in the mirror for a moment, putting her hand on her stomach.

She wasn't sure what to do. It didn't sit right with her to get rid of whatever life may be in her stomach, but she couldn't handle being a parent right now, not only that, but as she'd said to Dr. McCoy, what possible life would an orphan mutant have in this world?

And again, what if her other thought was true; that their genes were too mutated to create a viable offspring? What if they'd just create some terribly horrific ball of flesh that couldn't survive or have any real kind of life?

She shook her head, closing her eyes against the thought and moved to the door to finish getting ready for classes.

* * *

Kerri sat in the table in the library, grading notebooks again. Dr. McCoy walked toward her, sitting in one of the chairs.

"So," he started. "How are you feeling miss Gaylin?"

Kerri looked up at him. "Um, fine..."

"And, I know it's only been a little bit, but have you thought about the options?" He asked.

Kerri's eye's widened and she looked around. "Shhhh!"

Dr. McCoy looked around and back to her. "Don't worry; there's no one here, it's just the two of us." Kerri looked around again. "Have you had a chance?" He asked again.

"It's all I've been thinking about," she admitted. "What if... What if... It's not complete..." She asked nervously.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean, the two of us, we're both mutants, what if our DNA is too degraded... to make a real..."

"Kerri, just because you're a mutant doesn't mean you wouldn't be able to have a baby; Kurt's parents are both mutants, and your... Well, I can't claim that I know about your lineage, but there is nothing that would make your genes form into anything abnormal, at least not any more than any one else."

"Really?" Kerri asked.

"Of course, the mutation that mutants face, it's not one that degrades the genetics, it's an evolution of them," he told her.

"Oh..." Kerri muttered.

Dr. McCoy stood, making his way away from the table. "Don't worry, it will be fine," he told her again. "Think about your options, and telling Kurt. He deserves to know what's going on."

"I'm not ready yet..." Kerri said quietly. She was left to her thoughts, alone in the library. She went to the desk and pulled the phone out from under the shelves. She opened the browser on the computer and looked up the phone number she was looking for.

"Thank you for calling the Hoshuner clinic, how can I help you?" The lady's pleasant tone came across the line. Kerri was silent, not sure what to say. "Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Uh," Kerri cleared her throat. "Yes, I- sorry, frog in my throat..." She tried to laugh it off. "I was... hoping for a gynecologist, or... maybe just an ultrasound?"

There was some typing and the lady asked, "what is the nature of your visit?"

Kerri looked around at the empty library nervously. "I- I'm pregnant," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" The lady asked.

"I'm- pregnant," Kerri breathed.

"Did you say you're pregnant?" The lady asked.

"Yes," Kerri told her.

"And how far along are you?" She asked.

"Um... Almost six weeks..." Kerri almost whispered.

"Ok, and is this your first doctor's visit?" More typing.

"Yes..."

"I can get you in next month," the lady told her.

"That- that's too long- I have to decide... I have to see... Please," Kerri asked, pleading evident in her voice.

"Well, I could check and see if there are any cancellations, just a moment..." The lady paused and more typing was heard. "Oh, yes, it looks like Mrs. Millia delivered early, so we have an appointment on Saturday, if that's soon enough."

"Yes, yes, thank you," Kerri accepted.

"Alright, and your name please?"

"Um, Smith... Lina Smith." Kerri wasn't sure exactly why she lied, she just knew that she didn't want them having her name.

"Ok, so that'll be ten o'clock am on Saturday. Would you like to give me your phone number so I can give you a call back about the appointment?"

"Uh- no, I'll be there."

The week went by slowly, she told Logan she had some early morning planning for her class to do so he'd let her skip sparring with him, and she tried to avoid Kurt without being too obvious about it, but he seemed to be unable to stay away from her.

The knowledge that she was pregnant was weighing heavy on her mind, as well as the decision she was going to have to make, not to mention trying to keep it all a secret from everyone, who, due to her paranoia, seemed to know something about the situation, even though they didn't. Not to mention that whenever she passed Jean or the Professor they would look at her, wondering why the walls were so thick on her mind.

Saturday finally came, much to Kerri's relief, and she woke before anyone, getting ready and going to the garage.

She drove around and sat in a parking lot for a while, not trying to be creepy, just not sure where to go or what to do while she was waiting.

Finally, it was close enough that she drove to the clinic. She parked and went in, standing in front of the door to the offices she was going to.

She turned the knob, hoping that it would be locked, but it wasn't, so she walked in and up to the desk.

The woman behind the desk looked up at her. "How can I help you?" She asked in an almost bored voice.

"I, um, have an appointment..." Kerri almost stuttered.

The woman looked back to the computer screen. "What time?"

"Ten," Kerri told her.

"Lina Smith?"

"That's me," Kerri said, nodding.

The woman got a clipboard and put a paper on it, getting a pen and handing them to her. "Fill these out, bring them up when you're done."

Kerri sat in one of the chairs, staring at the paper, personal questions... When is the last time you... Have you ever...

Kerri circled the answers as fast as she could, then went and took it back up. The lady told her to take a seat, so she did. She looked around the room, not sure what to do with herself.

It was a nice room, a little bland colored, one of those colors that she was sure was supposed to calm you. There were pamphlets on the wall, trying to inform people about different dangers to their health, information about contraception, information on how babies develop.

"Lina?" A woman called, standing in the door way next to the counter.

Kerri stood and followed her through the door way, going back to the office. They sat and the lady asked a lot of personal questions that Kerri thought were weird. 'I must be more conservative than I thought...' She thought to herself in surprise.

Kerri sat and waited for the doctor to come in. When she did, she was very nice and open, asking if Kerri had any questions.

"So, I see on the notes that you said you were about six weeks along?" Kerri nodded. "And, I don't mean to be rude, but are you sure, or is there any possibility you're farther or less?"

"I- I only..."

"It's ok," the doctor smiled at her warmly. "We're only here to help."

"I- I've only- done it- twice... a couple days apart..." Kerri admitted.

"Ok, well, we can be sure then." She smiled kindly. "Let's get started then." She measured around Kerri's waist, took a few vital signs, wrote a few things, then asked. "Ok, now that we've gotten that all out of the way, let's talk options."

Kerri looked up at her, pulling her jacket back on. "What do you mean?"

"Well, there are a few options, since you're coming to a clinic, one for low income patients... So, were you thinking of keeping and raising...? Or adoption?" She paused. "Or terminating?"

Kerri looked up to her. "I- don't know... But I have to decide fast..."

The doctor nodded and wrote something on the chart. "Well, how about we take a look with the ultrasound, maybe that will help you decide?" Kerri nodded and she pulled a machine over to table. "Go ahead and unbutton your pants and pull up your shirt, we'll look and see what we can see."

Kerri unzipped her pants, pulling them down a little and sat on the table. She felt a little awkward waiting, so she looked around. Not much was there, large pictures of the progress from conception to birth, info about different types of contraception...

"Ok, lay back and lift your shirt, I have to put this jelly on your stomach. I just want to warn you, it's a little cold." Kerri cringed a little at the coldness, but the doctor just smiled encouragingly. "Ok, let's see... There's the wall of the uterus... there's the head... here's an arm, let me get a better angle..."

She moved the wand over Kerri's stomach, getting a picture of the whole fetus. Her hand froze and she stared at the image in the ultrasound machine's screen. Kerri looked up at the poster on the wall.

The image was almost the same, but something was wrong...

Kerri looked back to the screen, seeing how the spine went on longer than in the poster. There was no doubt in her mind what that was.

Not only did the worry of there being nothing but a ball of tissue fade, but all thoughts of getting rid of the baby died, replaced by wonder.

The baby was hers, hers and Kurt's. And if Kurt didn't like it, she'd do it herself, but the baby was... Perfect...

If Kurt decided that he didn't want to be involved with her or the baby, at least she'd always have the baby, who held a part of his DNA.

She looked to the doctor, who was still looking at the screen in shock and disbelief. Self preservation made kicked in, and she knew she had to get out of there. "Looks like he'll take after his dad," she smiled.

The doctor looked up. "Oh?"

"Yeah, he's- got a long spine, tall, you know?"

She nodded in acceptance. "Would you like a picture? It will just be the sonogram, but it's the first picture you'll have of your baby."

* * *

Kerri opened the door of the van and climbed in. She held up the two sonogram pictures and put them into her jacket pocket, starting the van and driving away, knowing that she should get away while she could, not sure what the doctor would do.

When she arrived at the mansion, she made her way down to Dr. McCoy's lab.

"Come in," he told her when she knocked. She went in and sat next to him on a chair she dragged across the floor. "How can I help you today, miss Gaylin?" Kerri pulled out the picture and handed it to him without a word. He took it and looked at it, taking it in for a moment. "So I see you went to the doctor's." She nodded. "And is this a..."

Kerri nodded again. "A tail."

"So the baby will have Kurt's dashing good looks," he said.

"I'm keeping it."

Dr. McCoy looked over at her. "You've decided?" Kerri nodded, still never having looked at him. "And have you told Kurt?"

"I don't know how..." Her eyes drifted to the ground. "Ruining my own life is hard enough, but his as well..."

"He is the only one who can answer if this would ruin his life," Dr. McCoy told her. "You have to tell him, he can't just find out when you deliver." The concern in his voice was real, Kerri could tell. But she still didn't know how to tell Kurt.

"I will, I just have to find the right way..."

* * *

Kurt felt a little out of place in the store, but it wasn't anything he wasn't used to in the rest of the world.

He glanced from a gold bracelet to a set of silver stud earrings, thinking that Kerri didn't seem the type to wear gold.

A man in a suit came up to him, smiling warmly and reaching out to shake his hand. "My name is Gerald, I see you're looking at our sterling silver post earrings, were you looking for a set for a special lady?"

Kurt looked away and cleared his throat before he looked back to the man and took his hand. "Vell, actually, I am looking for somezhing very special..."

Kerri hooked the last hook on her bra, adjusting it for comfort, and looked down.

She was too big for her bra, she just wasn't going to fit.

She pulled on a baggy shirt, hoping to cover it, and went on her way, of course, noticing too late to change anything that her shirt still showed how much she was trying to overflow the fabric.

In her class before lunch, she felt herself almost falling out of the fabric, and stood, walking around as though she was checking what the students were doing, but when she was behind them, she turned and adjusted herself.

As she was turning back, she got a feeling, she recognized that she was picking up the feelings of one of the boys in the class. It was a little aroused, and, she felt, directed at her.

She turned to find who it was, and saw Steven, a boy who had x-ray vision, sneakily looking at her chest, his eyes making his way down.

Kerri turned and smacked him in the back of the head, saying, "Keep your eyes on your paper." He looked quickly back to his paper, his face turning red as the test of the class snickered.

She was relieved that she'd caught him before his eyes had traveled lower, since he might have been able to see that she was pregnant, she wasn't exactly sure how x-ray his vision was.

When it was finally lunch time, Kerri went to the lunchroom and started through the line, reaching forward for some fries. She felt as though she was on the verge of popping out of her bra.

She sat at a table, fixing herself as discreetly as possible as she saw Kurt coming toward her.

He sat down and they talked as they ate, as normally as possible, since Kurt was thinking about an item at a shop and Kerri was thinking about something a little closer to them, neither wanting the other to find out about the other.

* * *

Kerri walked through the halls, going toward her room, when she saw Steven coming toward her.

A sudden wave of worry, almost panic, came over her.

All at once, every one in the hall around her jumped. They moved, toward others, away from them, around them, into them, knocking Kerri sideways into a wall as they hurried to get out of the area.

Professor Xavier heard the yelling, as did some of the other teachers, and they were there in a flash to assess the situation.

Xavier saw that nothing was wrong and quieted everyone's mind. "It's ok, nothing is wrong. Please return to what you were doing." The crowd thinned, and Kerri heard, "Miss Gaylin, to my office please?"

Kerri followed him to his office and sat down. "Miss Gaylin, I noticed that you were the only one not panicking in the hall," he commented. She shrugged. "I know you've been working hard to control your emotions leaking out, and you've made wonderful progress, but I was wondering, if you were the cause of the scene out there?" Kerri was staring to the side, not looking at him.

"Miss Gaylin?" She shrugged again. "I'm sorry to bother you with so many questions, but I've also noticed lately..." He trailed off, knowing that she never liked the side ways questions, so he decided to go direct. "Why are your mental walls so thick?"

Kerri felt a smirk raise her lip for a moment and a short laugh escaped her mouth as she looked at him with a challenge in her eye. "You want to know why my mental walls are so thick? When I live in a place where people can read your mind, sometimes on accident? Everyone needs a place to hide their thoughts, right Professor?"

He shifted a little. "Of course." There was silence for a moment.

"Do you want to know what's on my mind right now that made me slip? Is that what you're not asking?" Kerri accused.

"Well-"

"I'll let you see for yourself," she told him. "So you don't have to wonder." She looked at him and focused, then let down the barriers around her mind.

Xavier was a little unsure, but reached out and felt her mind. It was blank. Not just blank, empty, cleaned out and vacated in a way that only a victim of abuse would know how to do. He looked back to her and saw how her eyes had opened, dull and empty, vacant.

Kerri blinked, coming back to herself and imposing her walls again.

* * *

Kurt sat at the table in the kitchen, drinking from his glass of juice.

"So, Kurt, it's going to be your birthday next week, any idea of what you want for a celebration?" Ororo asked as she poured a mug of coffee.

Kurt smiled, but hid it as he thought of the jewelry box he was going to go back to the store to pick up. "Vell, I like cake, und maybe ice cream, aber, nozhing too big in zhe vay of a celebration," he told her.

Ororo nodded. "Yes, having too much noise and crowding does detract from the party." She took her coffee and left the room, making way for Logan, who grabbed a bottle of beer and plopped in the chair by him.

He was silent for a moment, then asked, "You know's up with the Kid?"

"N-no, is somezhing wrong vizh her?" Kurt asked, concerned because he knew that Logan was insightful to these kinds of things.

"No," he answered. "She just said that she needs to sped more time working on her class schedule."

Kurt relaxed in his chair. "Ja, she did have a lot of trouble getting it set up. Maybe I should see if she needs any help," he said to himself.

"Yeah. Maybe she'll tell you something else too..." Logan muttered to himself, taking another swig of beer.

* * *

Kerri pulled herself from the seat in the library, stacking the notebooks and carrying them to the desk to put them away until the next day.

"So, do you have any thing special planed for your birthday next week, Kurt?" She heard Dr. McCoy asking.

She stopped, looking at the clock for some reason as she wondered what day it was.

"Vell, I told Professor Munroe zhat I vould like a cake und some ice cream, aber, I'm zhinking about somezhing small vizh Kerri, as soon as she gets up here I'm going to ask her," he said, looking behind him, making Kerri hide behind a shelf without knowing why.

She straightened herself, making sure that, even though her stomach wasn't showing yet, it was hidden, and stepped out, making her way to them. "Hi, Kurt," she greeted with a smile.

Kurt smiled back, reaching out to help her, but she refused his help, setting the stack of notebooks on the desk. Dr. McCoy took them and put them under the desk on one of the shelves, saying, "let me get those for you."

"Um, thanks," Kerri agreed.

Kurt reached forward and took her hand, pulling her with him. His smile grew bigger as he took them out through the doors, down the stairs and outside.

He pulled her over to the spot where they usually watched clouds or stars, which ever was out, and pulled his hand so she kept going and fell against him. He put her hand on his and started waltzing with her. "So, liebling, vhat are you doing next veekend?"

Kerri laughed, dancing with him. "Well, I was thinking about staying in and maybe washing my hair... Maybe just sleep all weekend..." She teased him.

"Oh, vell, I guess I vill have to find somevone else to take out to dinner," he teased back.

"Hey, you didn't say there might be free food..." She told him. "In that case, I may be free that day..."

Kurt pulled her closer. "Zhat's more like it."

She smiled more, but as her stomach almost bumped into him, she turned so her hip did instead. "What were you thinking?"

"Vell, now zhat you have agreed, I vill make zhe reservations." He pulled her closer, his lips pressing against hers.

She kissed him back, but as his hand pulled her closer, she felt her stomach pressing against him, and pulled back a little. "So... Where are we going?"

"Zhat is a surprise, aber, maybe you should vear a dress or somezhing," he told her.

Kerri raised an eyebrow to him. "Ok, I'll see what I've got."

Kerri couldn't believe how fast the week was going, almost over before she knew it. She was making her way to the library so she wasn't late for her class, when Logan almost passed her, pausing in front of her.

"When are you going to tell the Elf?" He asked.

Kerri straightened, startled. "W-what?"

"You heard me," he told her.

"I- I don't know what you mean..." she said, but knew it was flimsy against him.

"Wanna try again?" He asked.

Kerri sighed and looked away. "I will, just... I don't know how..."

Logan huffed and passed her on his way to the danger room.

Kerri made her way to the library and got ready for her first class, but she had trouble concentrating, she kept thinking that now Logan knew she was pregnant, who else knew?

Who else had found out?

She knew she needed to tell Kurt, but she really didn't know how, she couldn't just go up to him and say, "Kurt, despite any plans for the future you had, you're going to be a daddy now!" It wasn't fair to him.

Besides, his birthday was in a few days, and she couldn't bring herself to tell him yet, "happy birthday, oh, by the way..." That was not the kind of present she wanted to give him for his birthday.

But with everyone seeming to know now, somehow...

She gritted her teeth, wondering how true that was, maybe Logan was just lucky, but maybe the others knew as well, since she knew news, especially juicy gossip like this moved fast through the mansion.

The rest of the week passed, full of worry and stress for Kerri.

On Saturday, after grocery shopping, she went through her closet, looking for a dress or skirt to wear. She tried on the few she had, wondering when she was going to start showing and have to get new pants that fit.

She went to the thrift store to find a dress, glad when she found a nice fitting black one that was a good price. It had small straps and also went around her shoulders, then down to her thighs a little tight and was loose the rest of the way to just below her knees.

It wasn't too new and spectacular, but she liked it, and it seemed to be ok for the situation, even though she didn't really know what the situation was, just that she was going out to dinner with Kurt.

She made her way back to the mansion and got ready for dinner, surprised when she didn't see Kurt around.

Monday came and went, and so did the next day, and Kerri still didn't see Kurt.

She was surprised, since he'd been sticking close to her for a while, and her paranoid mind put it to that he must have found out she was pregnant.

Not that she could blame him, after all, they hadn't planned this, and she had been freaked out, too, when she found out.

She sat at the table in the dinning room on Wednesday, trying not to cry as she pushed her food around her plate.

'I used to be so good at being emotionless, why can't I do it now?' She wondered forlornly.

Suddenly a body dropped across from her and a tail wrapped around her ankle.

She looked up to see Kurt across from her, smiling like a maniac. It was a little disconcerting to her after thinking that he was avoiding her.

"Hallo liebling. How are you today?" He asked.

"I-I'm ok," she answered. "What about you?"

"Great," he told her, his smile getting a little bigger, if that was possible.

"Y- good," she answered. "So... Where have you been for the last couple of days?"

"Oh, just, had some errands to run," he told her.

After they ate, Kurt took Kerri outside and laid with her, watching the stars, pulling her close and holding her against him until she almost fell asleep.

Kerri's hand moved over his chest lazily, making his skin rise up in goosebumps. He could tell that she was falling asleep, and he held her as close as she'd let him.


	8. What to say,,,

**[AN: Sorry this chapter is a little late, I haven't been feeling well. And there's the matter of the sudden appearance of piles of paperwork that are all due soon... would it help my case if I said my birthday is this weekend? lol Anyway, here's another chapter for you all, it's kind of a little tense near the end, but I hope you enjoy! Please feel free to review, message me, or just read!]**

**[Also, to Ven; true, I feel like there's more to get into the book, so I think that's why it's going faster. Also, not having to set up every reason someone is doing something saves time in writing lol.]**

* * *

Kerri couldn't believe how fast the week was going, almost over before she knew it. She was making her way to the library so she wasn't late for her class, when Logan almost passed her, pausing in front of her.

"When are you going to tell the Elf?" He asked.

Kerri straightened, startled. "W-what?"

"You heard me," he told her.

"I- I don't know what you mean..." she said, but knew it was flimsy against him.

"Wanna try again?" He asked.

Kerri sighed and looked away. "I will, just... I don't know how..."

Logan huffed and passed her on his way to the danger room.

Kerri made her way to the library and got ready for her first class, but she had trouble concentrating, she kept thinking that now Logan knew she was pregnant, who else knew?

Who else had found out?

She knew she needed to tell Kurt, but she really didn't know how, she couldn't just go up to him and say, "Kurt, despite any plans for the future you had, you're going to be a daddy now!" It wasn't fair to him.

Besides, his birthday was in a few days, and she couldn't bring herself to tell him yet; "happy birthday, oh, by the way..."

That was not the kind of present she wanted to give him for his birthday.

But with everyone seeming to know now, somehow...

She gritted her teeth, wondering how true that was, maybe Logan was just lucky, but maybe the others knew as well, since she knew news, especially juicy gossip like this, moved fast through the mansion.

The rest of the week passed, full of worry and stress for Kerri.

On Saturday, after grocery shopping, she went through her closet, looking for a dress or skirt to wear. She tried on the few she had, wondering when she was going to start showing and have to buy new pants that fit.

She went to the thrift store to find a dress, glad when she found a nice fitting black one that was a good price. It had small straps and also went around her shoulders, then down to her thighs a little tight and was loose the rest of the way to just below her knees.

It wasn't too new and spectacular, but she liked it, and it seemed to be ok for the situation, even though she didn't really know what the situation was, just that she was going out to dinner with Kurt.

She made her way back to the mansion and got ready for dinner, surprised when she didn't see Kurt around.

Monday came and went, and so did the next day, and Kerri still didn't see Kurt.

She was surprised, since he'd been sticking close to her for a while, and her paranoid mind put it to that he must have found out she was pregnant.

Not that she could blame him, after all, they hadn't planned this, and she had been freaked out, too, when she found out.

She sat at the table in the dinning room on Wednesday, trying not to cry as she pushed her food around her plate.

'I used to be so good at being emotionless, why can't I do it now?' She wondered forlornly.

Suddenly a body dropped across from her and a tail wrapped around her ankle.

She looked up to see Kurt across from her, smiling like a maniac. It was a little disconcerting to her after thinking that he was avoiding her.

"Hallo liebling. How are you today?" He asked.

"I-I'm ok," she answered. "What about you?"

"Great," he told her, his smile getting a little bigger, if that was possible.

"Y- good," she answered. "So... Where have you been for the last couple of days?"

"Oh, just, had some errands to run," he told her.

After they ate, Kurt took Kerri outside and laid with her, watching the stars, pulling her close and holding her against him until she almost fell asleep..

Kerri's hand moved over his chest lazily, making his skin rise up in goosebumps. He could tell that she was falling asleep, and he held her as close as she'd let him.

Kerri woke up, rolling over onto her side. She opened her eyes to see her alarm's glowing numbers and reached over to turn it off.

She rolled over again, then sighed and rubbed her eyes. She didn't even remember coming into the mansion and going to bed.

She pulled the covers down and saw that she was still in her clothes from the day before.

Kurt must have brought her back after she fell asleep on him last night while they watched the stars.

She climbed out of bed and got ready for the day, glad to remember that Kurt hadn't seemed to have found out that she was pregnant.

The bell rang, startling Kurt out of his thoughts as he took his hand from his pocket.

He looked around the room and pulled the stack of play books from the corner of his desk. "Ok, everyvone, ve are going to start on zhis play. Who vants to be zhe good guys, und who vants to be zhe bad guys?" He asked, passing out the books.

Kerri collected the notebooks and started noting them, checking the student's math for what they were supposed to have for funds at this point.

She collected the books in a stack and put them on the shelf under the desk at the front of the library.

Kurt opened the door and entered, looking around for Kerri until she appeared from behind the desk. "Ah, liebling! I vanted to come see you, und talk to you about tomorrow," he said.

Kerri looked up and smiled. "Happy birthday tomorrow."

Kurt smiled back. "Zhank you, aber, zhat isn't vhat I meant," he laughed.

Kerri came around the desk. "Ok, what's on your mind, then?"

"Vell, remember I asked you out to dinner?" Kerri nodded. "Vell, I vas trying to get a spot on Saturday, aber, zhey are full. Zhey did have a spot for tomorrow, zhough... Is zhat ok?"

Kerri smiled to him again. "Don't be silly, it's _your_ birthday, what ever you want to do..."

Kurt leaned close and kissed her. "Ah liebling, you are too good to me..."

Kerri looked away, her hand wanting to drift to her stomach. "Yeah..."

Kurt kissed her again and headed out through the doors.

'What am I doing?' Kerri wondered to herself, tears prickling. She wiped her eye thinking, 'Stupid hormones...'

That night Kurt laid in his bed, unable to fall asleep.

He was so excited about his plans for the next night.

* * *

Kerri returned her lunch tray, making her way back to the library, knowing that Kurt was working hard during lunch again so they could go on their date that night.

She didn't even know what to get him, he had every good pirate movie, and every good romantic adventure book.

She couldn't think of anything, nothing that he didn't have.

Kerri made her way to the library, knowing that she'd have to give him a rain check gift. Even though she knew when his birthday was, she'd forgotten to get him anything. She'd been too busy freaking out about being pregnant and trying to figure out what to do about it.

For the last half of the day, she watched as the students made lists of the things they thought they'd need to survive for a month; food, bills, gas, vehicle payments, anything else they thought they would need as they got ready or the first field trip of the class.

The last bell finally rang, and Kerri made her way to her room, gathering her things for a shower before she got ready.

As she walked down the hall back to her room, she heard a couple of the girls from the dorm excitedly talking about cake. They saw her and asked, "Are you going to get a piece of cake too? I heard that it's one of the teacher's birthdays."

Kerri threw the towel over her shoulder. "Yeah, it's Ku- Professor Wagner's birthday today," she told them. She stopped to throw her bath stuff into her room and pulled on some normal clothes, not wanting to get her dress dirty before their dinner.

When she got to the dining room, it looked like the whole school was waiting. She wandered up to Dr. McCoy and asked, "what is everyone waiting for?"

"Well, you can't have a birthday party without the birthday person," he told her. "By the way, have you told-"

Kerri cleared her throat and cut him off. "Well, if you're all waiting, I think I know where Kurt is, did anyone tell him that there's cake down here?"

Dr. McCoy shook his head. "It was supposed to be a surprise, but the natives are getting restless, I don't know how much longer they can wait without starting to take frosting, a little at a time," he gestured to the students who were looking at the cake as though plotting how to sneak a piece without being seen.

Kerri smiled a little. "I'll go get him, then, so the natives can stop plotting the cake's doom," she said, turning and heading upstairs.

She made it to Kurt's door, pausing a moment before knocking.

The door opened and Kurt appeared, shirtless. "Ah, hallo, liebling. Aren't you a little early, und under dressed for our date? It is not for anozher two hours," he said, looking at the watch that doubled as his image inducer.

Kerri caught herself staring at his chest, wishing it looked as blue and soft as she knew it was. Her head jerked up to his eyes, and she felt a slight blush try to creep up her cheeks. "Um, oh, they have a surprise for you downstairs, I guess they thought you'd be coming down for dinner, so they've been waiting for a bit."

"Zhey?" He asked, and Kerri nodded. He sighed. "I told her zhat I didn't vant anyzhing big..."

Kerri smiled. "I think they're all just as obsessed with cake as you are," she told him.

"Zhere is cake?" She nodded again, almost laughing. "Hmm, that changes everyzhing... Vould you like a piece of cake before dinner?"

"Sure, after all, who wouldn't?" She asked.

"Ok, just a moment, ah, vait here, ok?" He asked, a little nervously.

"Ok," she told him.

Kurt closed his door and looked at the jewelry box on his desk for a moment before putting it back into the drawer. He pulled on a clean shirt and went back to Kerri in the hall.

They went down to the dinning room and Kerri paused at the door. "Oh, it's supposed to be a surprise, so, you know, acting or something," she laughed.

"Vell, liebling, you _are_ talking to zhe drama teacher, I may be able to figure somezhing out..." He joked.

She smiled and squeezed his hand, kissing him before he could enter the room. "Happy birthday," she told him.

"It is," he smiled to her and squeezed her hand back and they went into the dinning room.

Everyone yelled, "Surprise!" and Kurt pretended to be surprised, then they cut the cake and put ice cream onto plates and everyone sat down or stood around talking, passing Kurt and saying happy birthday.

After a while, Kurt went up to Professor Xavier and the others to say thank you and excuse himself so he could finish getting ready for his special dinner with Kerri.

She waited for him by the door and they both made their way upstairs, parting ways at the top so they could get ready.

Kerri sat at her desk, reaching under it for where she'd hidden the shoe box with all of her important memories in it. She pulled out the pictures, looking at the photos from the formal for a moment, then pulling out the sonogram and staring at it.

She really needed to tell Kurt, but not today...

She'd let him be happy for today, then she'd tell him.

She pulled on her dress, studying her stomach in the mirror. It didn't poke out too noticeably, she really wasn't showing yet, no matter how paranoid she was that some one would be able to look at her and figure it out.

She put on a little make up, just a little mascara and lip gloss, then pulled her hair up so that half of it was in kind of a bun and the rest of it trailed over her shoulder.

Kerri grabbed her shoes, looking at the clock and seeing that she still had fifteen minutes until she was supposed to meet Kurt.

She pulled out the sonogram again and looked at it for a few minutes, feeling the guilt wash over her.

She looked at the clock, seeing that it was almost time to go. She put the picture in the box and put the box back in it's hiding place.

Kerri opened the door and made her way down to the front hall, passing Professor Xavier on the way.

"You look lovely this evening, Kerri, positively glowing," he smiled and continued on his way.

The comment wasn't much, but Kerri felt the hint of worry. She'd heard that pregnant women had some sort of "glow" about them, was that how every one knew? Was she that easy to see through?

A hand touched her shoulder, and she spun around, glad to see Kurt. "Oh," she let out a breath. "Hi."

"Hi," he said back, a little nervously. "Ready to go eat dinner?"

Kerri looked him up and down and suddenly felt under dressed. She was wearing some old dress she'd found at a thrift store, but he was wearing a very nice suit. "Yes," she told him.

They went into the garage and climbed into a car, and Kurt drove them out through the gates and onto the road.

It was a bit of a drive, and when they pulled into a parking lot, Kerri couldn't help but stare when she got out of the car. The name on the sign said, '_La Rue' _and it looked very fancy.

Kurt took her hand, placing it on his arm, and they made their way to the building, going in, and Kurt went up to the host's stand.

He came back to Kerri and they followed the Maitre de to a table. It was a nice table, not too far back, but not too close to the other tables.

Kurt pulled the chair for Kerri and she sat down, watching as Kurt sat as well. She felt his tail wrap around her ankle and smiled.

"So, liebling, how vas your day today?" Kurt asked.

"Oh, it was ok, just the normal stuff," she told him. "You know, kids, teaching... How about you?"

"Much zhe same," he smiled.

They ordered dinner and ate, talking about everything they could think of, except for Kerri , who kept her thoughts off of the baby, trying to have a good time for Kurt's sake.

It was easy to have a good time with him, he was funny, and kind, and she loved him.

The waiter came and refilled their drinks, offering a dessert menu, and Kurt took it.

"Kurt, I can't believe- no wait, of course I can believe you want more dessert," Kerri laughed.

Kurt looked up and smiled at her. "Vell, I suppose zhat I could live vizhout dessert forever vizh zhe sveetness of your smile und laughter," he told her making her blush and look at the table. He leaned forward and pulled her chin back up so she was looking at him. He looked a little nervous, and Kerri wondered why he was so nervous.

Kurt moved as though he was about to get up, but there was a loud clattering of dishes as one of the bus boy's buckets of dishes settled, distracting Kerri for a moment. She looked back to see Kurt next to her, on his knee. "Kerri, vill you-" his breath was coming fast, and he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He opened the jewelry box and showed it to her. "Kerri vill you marry me?"

Kerri stared down at him, stunned.

Her face broke into a smile and her eyes lit up. She really would love to marry him, and they already had a family-

Her face froze as her mind whirred. The baby. He'd found out about the baby...

It would be just like him to be a gentleman, "take responsibility," and marry her, even if that wasn't what he wanted.

She couldn't marry him just because he felt guilty about knocking her up. It wasn't right, not to him, not to her, and it would surly have effects on the baby as it grew up.

Kerri looked around and felt tears prickle at the back of her throat. She pulled Kurt's arm until he was sitting in his chair again. "So, you found out..." She said dismally.

"Found out vhat?" He asked.

"You know what-" She had to pause for a second. "I- I can't marry you like this, I-" She felt her throat tighten. 'Not when the only reason you want to marry me is for this...' Her hand moved to her stomach under the table.

"V-vhat do you mean?" Kurt asked.

"I- can't- I can't do this, I have to go," Kerri said, standing and hurrying away from the table.

Kurt stood and chased after her, but the Maitre de stopped him. "Excuse me, sir, the bill..." he reminded him, not allowing Kurt to pass.

Kurt looked at him like he was crazy. Could he really not tell that his world was crashing down around him? That the love of his life had just rushed out that door like she was running from him?

Kerri rushed out into the parking lot and looked around. She had to get out of there.

She didn't have the keys to the car, though. She found a spot that was hidden and pulled the straps on the dress off and pushed it down far enough that her wings could grow, then stepped out so a group of people could see her, shifting and hiding again before jumping and flying to the mansion.

She landed next to the door and opened it, going in and shifting back as she passed a group of students on her way up to her room.

She threw open the door and, throwing it closed behind her, went straight to her bed and laid down, tears still streaming down her face.

She took her pillow and held it to her, crying into it so no one could hear. "Of course, that's the only reason he'd ever ask me to marry him..." She said to herself, muffled by the pillow.

* * *

Kurt had paid the bill and he had the ring in his pocket, as he started off after Kerri, he remembered that he had to get the car back home as well.

He drove, feeling that it took too long. He had to get back now, and talk to Kerri.

It didn't make any sense what she'd said...

She had been acting a little strange ever since she'd gone to see Dr. McCoy. Come to think of it, she _had_ been spending a lot of time with him lately...

Maybe he'd have an idea of what was upsetting her...

When Kurt got back to the mansion, he parked and headed down to the med lab, looking for Dr. McCoy before he went to see Kerri, noticing that most of the school was in bed already.

The door was unlocked, so he opened it and made his way to where Dr. McCoy was sitting, looking into a petri dish through a microscope.

"Oh, hello my dear boy. How are you tonight? Happy birthday, by the way," he said.

"Zhanks, um... So I vas vondering, vhat is... I mean..." Kurt stuttered, not sure how to ask his question.

"What is what?" Dr. McCoy asked.

"Vell- Kerri- I know she's-" Kurt paused.

"She told you? Wonderful! Congratulations!" Dr. McCoy stood up and shook his hand.

Kurt looked at him in confusion. "Told me vas?" He asked.

"That she's pregnant, of course," Dr. McCoy said.

"She- vhat?" Kurt asked in shock.

"She didn't tell you... Oh dear," Dr. McCoy mumbled to himself.

"She... Kerri... Sie schvanger ist?" Kurt asked, still in shock. "Vizh, vizh mein..." He couldn't say anything for a moment. {she's pregnant}

"Yes," Dr. McCoy said.

"But, vhy didn't she say anyzhing to me? Zhis is huge, gigantic! How long has she known? Vhy didn't she tell me?" He asked.

"A few weeks, and..." Dr. McCoy sighed and glanced back to his microscope before he said, "Well, it is, as you said, huge, and... She wasn't sure if she, or you, were ready for it."

"Vhat do you mean?" Kurt asked.

"She... was thinking about... not keeping the baby..." Dr. McCoy told him with some difficulty.

"She vas going to give zhe baby avay? Our baby?" Kurt asked in surprise.

"Not- not quite," Dr. McCoy told him.

Kurt looked at him in confusion for a moment. "Vhat... You- you mean she vas zhinking about," he paused as he thought of the most inoffensive way to say it. "Getting rid of-" Dr. McCoy nodded.

A thunderstorm was brewing in the room now, making Kurt's face dark. How could she? She was going to kill their unborn baby without ever even telling him it existed? His anger grew even more.

There was a Bamf, a plume of smoke, and a smell of brimstone left in his place as Kurt teleported away.

"Oh dear," Dr. McCoy shook his head to himself. "She really shouldn't have waited so long..."

* * *

Kerri had stopped crying now, and was just sniffling into the pillow, but she felt that she would start crying again at any moment.

She wiped her eyes on the pillow case, glad that she'd used waterproof mascara so it didn't ruin the fabric.

There was a Bamf as Kurt popped into existence in her room, and Kerri rolled over, startled, to look at him.

She was about to say something when he spoke, his voice filling the room with an angry cloud. "You vere going to kill our baby?" He demanded.

Kerri's eyes widened and she looked around for something to say, but came up with nothing.

"How could you even zhink about doing somezhing like zhat?" He demanded, his voice as dark as, if not darker than, the room, which was only lit by the moon through the window.

She looked up at him. "I-" was all she got out before he interrupted her.

"No matter vhat you zhought, no matter how hard it could be, life is a miracle, und, ve could love our child, give it a good life... even if you do not, I vould love our child enough for zhe bozh of us! Murder is never zhe answer!" He told her, managing to keep his voice low enough to not wake the girls on either side of her room.

"Kurt, I never-" She tried to talk, but he interrupted her again.

"No matter vhat! How- how could you not even tell me?!" He demanded. "How could you zhink of doing zhat to our child?!"

"Kurt!" Kerri almost yelled. "If you'd just shut up and let me talk! I'm trying to tell you that, yes, I panicked and wanted it to go back to the way it was, because I didn't want to ruin our lives! We are- were, teenagers, I mean- Anyway, I couldn't tell you!" Her voice got a little tight, pleading. "Not tonight, on your birthday! I love you, and I wanted to wait until after your birthday, let you have a good night first... before you knew your life had ended..."

Kurt's brow knit as he listened to what she was saying. "You could have told me before, you have known for a few weeks, Dr. McCoy said."

Kerri closed her eyes. "Yes, and they were filled with freaking out, panic, paranoia, and denial... Trying to pretend that... I don't know, I don't even know anymore!" She felt a sob slip from her mouth and she covered it with her hand.

Even as angry as Kurt was, he couldn't stop himself from wanting to comfort Kerri. "Und, vhat about tonight," he asked stiffly, a little afraid of the answer. "If... If you love me... vhy did you say you can't marry me?"

Kerri looked up at him and he could see the trails of tears flowing down her face. "I- I thought you'd found out I was pregnant, and... And that you were only asking me because of that, and... I couldn't do that! I want you to ask me to marry you because you love me, not because we... Accidentally..."

Kurt's anger had been falling; how could he yell at a crying pregnant woman, especially the one he loved, while she carried his baby? But with that comment, his anger rose again. "How could you zhink zhat? After all zhis time, how could you zhink zhat zhe only reason I vould ask you to marry me vas zhat? Und how could you even zhink of... Getting rid our baby?"

Kerri had been sitting, but she stood now, and he shifted back from her a little at her new presence. "I couldn't! I couldn't do it! I took one look at it and knew that I couldn't do it!" She went over to her desk and threw the chair out of the way, knocking it sideways to the floor as she reached under the desk and pulled out the shoe box, putting it on the desk and pulling out the sonogram. "I took one look at this," she shoved the image into his hands. "And saw how much it looks like you already, how perfect it's going to be, and I couldn't do it!"

Kurt looked down at the fuzzy black and white image, turning it to try to make sense of it. "Vhat-"

Kerri turned him to the window so she could see the picture and pointed over his shoulder. "That's the head, arm, leg... tail," she told him.

Amazement washed over Kurt. "Meine... es ist mein... das ist mein Baby..." he said softly. A small smile pulled at the corners of Kerri's mouth. "Zhat is our baby," he told her as he looked at her.

Kerri nodded and looked at the ground. "I- I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I was just... Worried about nothing, I guess..."

He pulled her chin back up so she was looking into his eyes. "Liebling, I love you, und, ja, zhis is a huge zhing zhat I could understand you vorrying about, but you don't have to vorry anymore, I'm here."

A tear made it's way down her cheek. "Do- I- Please don't hate me," she whispered.

Kurt pulled her into his arms. "Kerri, I love you, und, you are going to be zhe mozher of my child; I don't hate you," he told her.

Kerri just clung to him, crying into his chest, telling him over and over, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... Please forgive me..." while he stroked her hair.


	9. What is a father like?

**[AN: Welcome to another chapter! In between hunting for jobs and being aggravated that the stupid place where I used to work won't do the things it needs to do so that I can get the help I need while looking for a job, you know, so I can pay rent and buy food, I've been writing! So, benefits go to you guys! Anyway, lol, before we got into the story, I wanted to thank everyone for reading, and also thanks to Ven, your comment actually came right on my birthday lol, because even if you don't comment, message, whatever, I can see that my story is being read, and the reason I started writing this down, instead of just making it up for myself, is so others could enjoy it, and just knowing you guys like it enough to keep reading makes me feel better when I feel down. Not to say that I don't squee when I get a review, and get weird looks because the people around me don't understand... XD Anyway, as always, please feel free to review, message me, or just read!]**

* * *

Kerri woke up, her eyes feeling sticky and swollen.

She rubbed them and felt her day old mascara flaking off and down her cheeks.

She opened her eyes and found Kurt's fuzzy blue chest below her.

She looked down and saw that she was still in her dress and he was still in his pants with his shirt unbuttoned. She remembered Kurt holding her close until she'd fallen asleep on him while almost hysterical non stop tears had been rolling down her face.

Stupid hormones.

She shifted so she wasn't on top of him, crushing him, but his arms tightened and pulled her closer again.

She rolled again, trying not to lay on her stomach, knowing it would aggravate her morning sickness, but Kurt's arms pulled her back, and she could see his eyes opening sleepily as he pulled her closer against him.

"Kurt, don't, I'll- urp- excuse me, bathroom!" She said as she crawled over him as fast as she could and made a run for it down the hall.

When she got back she saw that Kurt had done up his shirt most of the way and was sitting on the bed. "Oh, gute, you're back, I vas starting to zhink zhat you vould alvays run vhen you voke up next to me," he told her, sounding a little sad.

"Of course not, just... morning sickness, it doesn't wait..." She told him, her hand trying to smooth her hair.

They were silent for a moment before Kurt told her, "Ve need to finish our conversation from last night." Kerri nodded and picked up her chair and sat next to the bed. "I- still... Kerri, I love you, I know I've told you more zhan vonce... Vhy vould you zhink zhat I vould never ask you to marry me?"

Kerri looked at the floor and shifted uncomfortably. "It's... really more like... I'm just me, but you're, well, you; the kindest most wonderful person ever... And I- all I've done to you over the last year and a half... I thought you... That it would take a while... to really forgive me... I didn't think... it wouldn't be soon..."

Kurt took her hand and held it in his, looking at it. "Liebling..."

She could hear the longing in his tone, she wasn't sure what the longing was for, but she could hear it. She continued, "I want to marry you, but I don't know how you'll ever forgive me... I- I was so afraid that... if you found out- that- that- I was pregnant, that-" her words were a little halting as she fought sobs.

"Liebling," Kurt said again as he looked up at her. He pulled her from the chair to him, holding her close and laying down to hold her even closer against him. "I told you zhat I forgive you for last year, und being afraid, vell, I mean, I guess I'm nervous, too, after all, zhis _is_ sudden," He pulled back a little so he could look into her eyes. "Liebling, please don't cry..."

"Sorry," she said, wiping her cheeks. "It's all the stupid hormones," she raged. "They can't decide what they want to do..."

Kurt pulled her chin up and kissed her. She could feel the tenderness there, the love. He put his tongue out to deepen the kiss, but she pulled away.

"Um, I don't think you'd like that... I might still... you know..." She mumbled, putting her hand over her mouth.

Kurt pushed her hand out of the way and kissed her again, smiling at her. "I don't vant you to be afraid anymore, liebling, you can tell me anyzhing," he told her. "Now, about zhis..." He looked at Kerri's stomach, his hand reaching forward tentatively.

Kerri took his hand and pulled it to her stomach. His eyes widened and his hand moved in a circle, taking in the landscape. "What about it?"

"D- do you know if it is a boy or a girl yet?" He asked.

Kerri looked down to watched as his hand moved. "Well, actually, when a fetus forms, until the very end when it develops a gender, it's a girl," she told him. "But no, don't know the real gender yet."

Kurt's hand stopped moving, just pressing against her. "Has it moved yet?" He asked.

"No," she told him. "Well, probably a little, but I haven't felt anything." Kerri suddenly sat up. "Um, I need to walk for a minute," she said, making her way across the room

"Vhat's wrong?" He asked.

"Just, more morning sickness," she answered, pacing back and forth. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and stopped. "Oh my- holy cow, I don't know how you managed to look at me without running away."

Kurt laughed. "It's not as bad as you zhink; I've seen people after battles for zheir lives, remember?"

* * *

Kurt sat in his room, staring at the same page he'd been staring at for over an hour.

Kerri and he had decided that they needed a little time to come to terms with things, and he'd spent the time staring at the same page, still feeling a little numb to the news that he was going to be a father.

He knew that Kerri had already had her time to freak out, and this should be his, but it was really more of letting it sink in and become real.

He also knew that Kerri had been worried that he'd be angry if he found out that she was pregnant, but he wasn't. He knew that on top of that, she was worried that he was angry that she didn't tell him sooner, but he could understand that she was afraid, that she'd wanted to at least let him have a happy birthday before springing life altering news like that on him.

She really was caring, she just didn't quite understand how good people thought anymore.

Dinner time came, and they found each other in the dining room, sitting together.

After dinner, Kurt walked Kerri to her room and stopped in front of her door. "Kerri, um, could- could I see zhat picture again, bitte?"

"Yeah- of course," she opened the door and pulled the sonogram out of the shoe box she'd kicked under her bed, since she'd been staring at the contents for most of the day. She took it over to Kurt and handed it to him.

"Could you show me again?" he asked.

Kerri nodded with a slight smile and pointed. "Head, arm, leg, tail," she told him. He smiled and his hand traced where she'd pointed. He went to hand the picture back to her, but she pushed his hand back. "You can keep that one, they gave me two."

"Zhank you. Good night, liebling," he told her, turning and staring at the picture as he carried it to his room.

He hung upside down on the bars above his bed, staring at the sonogram still.

It was such a strange feeling; knowing that he was going to be a father.

He tried to remember a man, someone at the circus who had been like a father to him, one of the men who had helped teach him acrobatics maybe?

Maybe someone here at the mansion?

He couldn't really think of anyone, maybe he hadn't really had a father figure at all?

A bit of panic settled into him. What if he didn't know how to be a father because he'd never had one? Could he be a good father without having a father?

He climbed into his bed, still going over every male he'd ever known, trying to think of someone who had been a good father figure.

The next morning, Kurt woke up and knocked on Kerri's door early, expecting her to still be asleep, but she didn't answer.

After waiting a few minutes, she came down the hall from the bathroom, holding her stomach.

"Liebling," he called out to her, making her look up.

"H-hi, Kurt, what are you doing over here so early?" She asked as she got to her door.

"Vell... I- I kind of started zhinking last night..." He trailed off, trying to ask his questions about how to be a dad without making her lose her faith in him. "Vhat vas your fazher like?"

Kerri's wolf ears perked up to attention, as did her whole stature, and she opened her door, ushering Kurt inside. "We can talk in here about that," she told him.

When they'd sat down, Kerri asked, "What made you ask about my dad all of a sudden?"

"Vell, I mean, I'm- going to- to be vone- aber-" He stuttered.

Kerri looked at him in question. "You- you never had a dad? I thought you had a whole circus...?"

Kurt shook his head. "Zhere vere a lot of men zhere, aber, none zhat vere really fazhers to me," he told her.

"What about here?" She asked. "You've been here longer than me, have you found anyone who is like a dad?" Kurt shook his head again. "Really? But it wasn't really... I mean..." She stopped, blushing.

"Vhat?" He asked.

"Well, like I-" Kerri stopped, still blushing.

"Vhat?" Kurt asked again.

"Like I found..." She admitted.

"You found somevone who is like a fazher?" He asked, surprised. Kerri nodded. "Who?"

"L- don't you think Logan is a lot like a father figure?" She asked, her face burning.

Kurt's eyes opened even wider. "No vay! You look up to Logan like a fazher?!"

"N- no," she said. "He's just a lot like a dad," she told him.

Kurt laughed. "How is zhat?!"

Kerri looked away at the wall. "He watches over the students and makes sure that they don't get seriously hurt, and he cares about their well being, by watching them and making sure they are well taken care of... Kind of like a shepherd to a flock of sheep..." She told him quietly.

Kurt's face turned serious as he thought about what she was saying. "Wow, zhat- zhat's kind of true..." Kerri nodded again. "I never saw it zhat vay, but ja... I still don't see him as a fazher figure, more of a friend..." he turned back to her. "Is zhat vhat your dad vas like?"

Kerri shook her head. "Kinda, not really. He was supportive, he wanted me to feel good about being myself, not fall to peer pressure... He told me he loved me, and made me feel loved and protected... I- I don't even know what a relationship is supposed to be like with a parent after the age of nine," she told him. "I'm- probably not the best one to ask."

Kurt took her hand. "Aber, you have good memories of your fazher, und, zhat is vhat I vant for our child," he told her. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

* * *

Kurt walked to the kitchen to pull together some lunch for himself, and saw Logan sitting in his usual chair, back on two legs and gulping from a bottle of beer.

Kurt paused as he pulled out a drink. "Hey, Logan, can I ask you a quvestion?" He asked tentatively.

"What's on your mind, Elf?" He asked.

"Vhat- vhat vas your dad like?" he asked before he lost his nerve.

Logan paused in his swig of beer before he continued, then put it down. "He was an abusive bastard."

"Oh," Kurt muttered.

"Why the sudden interest?" Logan asked.

"Oh, no reason," Kurt said, smiling. He grabbed his food and left the kitchen, wandering around a little more as he ate.

He ran into Jean, literally, after a while, and she caught him, keeping him from falling by suspending him in the air before he could catch himself. "Oh, sorry, Jean," he apologized and smiled as she set him upright.

"No problem, but, you should watch where you're going a little more carefully," she told him, smiling as well. She was about to continue on her way when he stopped her.

"Vait, could I ask you a quvestion, Jean?" He asked.

"Well, sure, what do you want to know?" She asked.

"V- vhat vas your fazher like?" He asked.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Well, he was a kind man, nice, loving, good to his family," she told him. "Why?"

Kurt smiled to her again. "Oh, no reason," he told her, turning and going on his way.

He passed the math room as Scott was exiting.

"Hey, Kurt, have you seen Jean?" Scott called after him.

Kurt paused and turned to him. "Um, ja, a few minutes ago, going to Professor Xavier's office, I zhink," he answered, moving to continue, but stopped and turned back to him. "Hey, Scott, could I ask you a quvestion?"

"Uh, sure," Scott answered, adjusting his sunglasses.

"Vell, um, vhat vas your fazher like?" He asked.

Scott's eyebrows raised above his sunglasses. "W- why are you asking about that?" He asked.

"Ah, no reason," Kurt smiled one of his charming smiles and was about to turn when Scott answered.

"He, I guess he must have loved me... I mean- he and my mom put my brother and me into the only parachute on the plane and made us jump... Right before the plane crashed and they died..." Kurt stared at Scott in surprise for a moment. "He must have loved me," Scott said, staring off into space morosely for a moment before he went in the direction that Kurt had pointed him.

Kurt watched him go, thinking, 'he loved him enough zhat he saved his life und died for him...'

The next day, Kurt went through the motions of teaching his classes, which wasn't too bad, because the students were just practicing the play the were working on. He kept thinking about what the other X-Men had said about their parents, and remembered what Kitty had said about her dad; that he was over protective, but a good guy over all.

It seemed that parents could vary, and so could the child after they'd grown up, either becoming a victim of their upbringing, or learning how to cope.

He was heading to lunch when he heard a familiar voice in his head; '_Kurt, please visit me in my office.'_

Kurt turned and made his way to the Professor's office instead.

He opened the door and sat in one of the chairs across from the desk.

"So, I hear you've been asking quite a few people about their fathers," he commented. Kurt didn't say anything. "Were you wondering something specific about fathers?"

"Ah, no," Kurt smiled.

The Professor was quiet for a moment. "Were you wondering about your father?"

Kurt shrugged. "A little," he answered.

"If you would like, we could run a DNA check, and see if we could find him," the Professor offered.

Kurt shook his head. "Nein, it is ok, I vas just vondering."

Xavier nodded, and as Kurt moved to get up, he said, "I wouldn't worry about what kind of father you had. For example, my father was a good man, but when my mother remarried, he was only after her money, he drove her to drinking until she died, and was very violent towards my stepbrother, his own son, and me. But, as you can see, I hope, at least," he joked, "I think I have turned out quite well. There are other such stories here, unfortunately, such as Logan, who has lived for a long time, not forgetting the wrongs done to him, but still wanting to find the good in people, deep down.

"Jean, whose parents were average in every way, but suffered in other ways that has made her develop into who she has become. Scott, who doesn't remember much of his parents, except that they loved him enough to save him and his brother, even though it condemned them to death.

"Your friend, Kitty, whose parents loved her so much that they tried to protect her from the outside world, only to see that she needed to be let go to live a normal life. Kerri," he left it open, not knowing how they were defining themselves at the moment. "Who lived through something similar to Logan; people abusing her, her trust, her powers, either hating and fearing her for them, or wanting to use them for their own gain. Her father was a good man, a just man, who was killed for what he believed and was trying to do."

Kurt looked up to him, wondering at this knowledge about Kerri's father. "He- he vas killed? I zhought she said he died in an accident...?"

Xavier looked at him. "She, isn't aware of what happened, she was too young to remember, but after I found out what her real last name was, I remembered a young man who fought for the mutant cause, he looked very much like our young Kerri, as well." Kurt was silent. "Do you understand what I'm telling you, Kurt?" he asked.

Kurt paused. "Zhat how you turn out doesn't depend on vhat your fazher vas like?" He asked.

"Close; that, while the way that you were raised does have an effect on you, it's not so much what your blood relatives are like, but how you were treated and learned to take care of your self," he explained.

* * *

Kerri made her way to her room, sighing in agitation. She went into her room and almost flopped onto the bed before she caught herself.

She laid down softly, looking at her stomach. "You're tiny, why do I have to pee so much?!" She questioned, pointing at her stomach.

There was a knock at her door and she stood, going to the door, realizing as she got there that it was still dark outside. She pressed her ear against the door, but didn't hear anything. "Who's there?"

"It is me," she heard Kurt's accent through the door.

She opened the door and looked at him in confusion. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

Kurt looked around the hall, unsure. "Vell- I... I just vanted to check on you," he told her.

"I'm fine, I just have to go to the bathroom every five minutes," she told him.

"Ah," Kurt said, scuffing his foot across the carpet. Kerri looked around, not sure what to say, she looked over her shoulder, seeing the clock saying it was four-thirty in the morning. "I just vanted to check on you, so..."

"Kurt, do you want to, um, come in?" Kerri asked, sensing the answer was yes.

"Vell, it is razher early..." he blushed.

Kerri pulled him in by his arm, smiling. "Well, I need to get some sleep, but we could cuddle for a while. As long as you don't mind me having to get up to use the bathroom every five minutes," she joked.

Kurt smiled, and his blush grew. "But, liebling, we'll be alone togezher, in your bed..."

"What are you going to do, knock me up?" Kerri laughed. "Oh, too late. Besides, you weren't worried on your birthday," she told him.

"Vell, I vasn't... really..." Kurt blushed more, and Kerri pulled him over to her bed.

"Just turn off your image inducer and go to sleep," she told him, climbing onto the bed.

He slowly followed her, as though testing the bounds of reality, then turned the switch on his watch, making his inducer turn off.

Kerri felt him lay behind her, pulling her close against him, making an inner flame burn, then after a moment, his hand drifted to her stomach and a hormone driven tear grew in the corner of her eye.

He was going to be a wonderful dad.

* * *

Kurt woke up to the buzzing of an alarm and looked over to it, but saw Kerri's walls instead of his own.

He froze and looked over to where Kerri was laying, rubbing her eyes. She sat up and reached over him to turn off the alarm, then sat back and smiled at him.

Kurt watched as she got up and stumbled over to her closet, digging through it for clothes, but stood straight up, her hand going to her mouth. She ran to the door and out into the hall.

Kurt wasn't sure what to do so he sat on the bed for a few minutes, debating on whether he should teleport back to his room or stay there and make sure that Kerri was ok.

Kerri came back through the door, groaning. "I'm empty, no food or drink is left in me..." She looked over at Kurt, who was sitting stiffly on her bed. "Good morning," she turned and looked in the mirror, trying to flatten the crazy side of her hair and fluff the flat side for a moment before she turned back to him. "I'm not scaring you away with my horrible morning looks, am I?"

Kurt stood and made his way to her. "You don't look horrible, liebling," he told her. "Princesses vish zhey could look so gute vhen zhey vake up." Kerri rolled her eyes and blushed. Another ringing from the alarm on the nightstand made Kurt jump in surprise. He looked over to it and turned back to Kerri. "Vell, I guess ve should get ready for vork, ja?"

Kerri nodded and moved to turn off the alarm. "See you later," she said, turning around to see Kurt suddenly next to her, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek before he vanished in a cloud of smoke.

* * *

Kerri stretched as she walked down the hall, rubbing her hands over her eyes and sighing, not enjoying the earliness.

She went into her room and made it half way across the floor to her bed when there was a knock on her door. She turned around and looked at the door questioningly. "Who's there?"

"Ah, it is me, liebling..." Kurt said.

She opened the door and saw Kurt standing nervously in the doorway. "Is anything wrong?" She asked.

Kurt shook his head, his cheeks glowing with a blush. "N- nein, I just... Vell, I vanted to make sure zhat you are ok..."

Kerri's lip lifted a little. "Are you concerned about something, Kurt?" She asked as though she didn't have any idea.

Kurt blushed harder and looked at the floor. "Ah, vell..."

Kerri laughed and pulled him into her room again. "Well, come in, but I'm going to sleep," she told him as she closed the door.

Kurt woke up, seeing Kerri's walls around him and the back of her head laying on his arm. His hand was on her stomach and he moved it, noticing how flat her stomach still was, soft, as though the muscle was loosening, but not plump yet.

It was hard to believe that there was life growing beneath his hand.

He cuddled closer to her, his nose tunneling into the crook of her neck, and took a deep breath of her scent.

The next morning, in class, Kerri passed out the notebooks to all of her students. "So, we'll be going on our first field trip next week, we're going to be going out to the store, and with how ever much money you have set aside or have left, you'll be doing some "grocery shopping" to be able to "eat" for the next month."

Ben raised his hand. "Are we really going to buy the food?"

"No," Kerri told them. "It's pretend shopping, buy what you want, but make sure you have enough to last for two weeks, or a month, which ever is the next pay day for your job. We'll be keeping track of what you "eat" every day so that you know what you have left."

* * *

Kerri looked at her clock, noticing the time. Just as expected, there was a knock on her door. She opened it and leaned against the door frame. "So we meet again." Kurt blushed, and Kerri waved her hand, inviting him in.

They climbed into Kerri's bed, and she laid against him, running her hand over his chest. She glanced up at him, seeing that his eyes were closed, and her hand moved down to his waist, under his shirt. She smoothed her hand over his chest again.

Kurt tensed and she looked up to see his eyes open in surprise. She smiled and leaned up to kiss him. Kurt was a little nervous, and it took a little convincing to get him to kiss her back, but she ended up straddling him, his hands pulling her closer.

Kurt could feel his breath coming fast, and his body was reacting. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back.

She looked down at him in confusion as he sat up and moved out from under her. "W- what- what's the matter?"

"I, ah, I don't zhink ve should..." Kurt trailed off.

Kerri blushed. "Um, why not? I mean, I'm already- Oh, yeah," she remembered. 'The church thing...'

Kurt blushed. "Sorry, liebling..."

"It's ok," she told him. "L-let's just go to sleep, then."

Kerri curled up in Kurt's arms, and he pulled her close, trying to forget the excitement his body had felt.

* * *

Kerri smiled as she watched Kurt make his way across the dining room, holding two trays of food.

He was the sweetest guy ever; not wanting her to strain herself or have to wait through the line. He'd checked on her every night, sleeping the rest of the night in her bed.

Kurt set the tray of food in front of her and sat down, smiling. "I hope you like es, liebling."

After dinner, they made their way outside to where the stars were out.

Kurt pulled Kerri's jacket closer around her, kissing her as he did. "Liebling, I-" He stopped. Kerri looked up to him in question. "I- vell..." He took a breath and rested his forehead against hers. "Ah liebling..."

"What is it, Kurt?" She asked.

"Vell, I vanted to ask you..." He took her hand in his and moved down onto his knee. "Vill you marry me, Kerri?"

Kerri smiled and pulled him up, kissing him.

Kurt returned the kiss, and when they pulled apart for air, he said, "Zhat vas nice, liebling, aber, it is not an answer..."

Kerri's face was getting sore from her smile. "Well, of course," she told him. She laughed and kissed him. "I do love you, you know."

Kurt pulled her close and kissed her again. He leaned back after a moment. "Oh, zhe ring!" He laughed. "I, ah, I didn't mean to ask you again so suddenly, I vanted to at least have zhe ring."

"Where is it?" She asked.

"Es, ah, it's in my room. Let's go get es," he told her.

They went up to his room and he pulled out the ring box, opening it and putting the ring onto her finger.

Or tried, anyway, since it only made it to her second knuckle.

Kerri smiled and looked at the ring, a silver band with three round stones, the one in the middle the largest. "It's beautiful, Kurt."

Kurt looked into Kerri's eyes. "I- I am so sorry, liebling, I- didn't know your size-"

"It's ok, how were you supposed to know my ring size," she laughed. "We'll just have to get it sized." She smiled and handed the ring back to Kurt.


	10. Learning grocery shopping or first aid?

**[AN: Another Wednesday, another chapter!**** Ok, naughty language warning, the 'f word' appears I think three times, so skip it if you're offended lol. This one is a little short, but... really didn't want to drag this part out, which has been planned since the beginning, by the way. Anyway, please feel free to comment, vote, or just read!]**

* * *

Kerri went into the library to see that her class was already there. "Hello," she greeted. "I hope that you're all ready for the field trip!"

They all climbed into the van, the seven students and her fitting perfectly, and she drove them to the store down town.

"Ok, we're going into the store, you all have the totals of money that you have to spend on groceries, get enough to last you, but other than that, what you want to eat. Keep track of how much each item costs, and don't forget about taxes," she told the group, walking sideways as they made their way to the door.

A large, burly man stepped in front of her, making her run into him. She steadied herself and looked up. "Um, excuse me," she said, moving to go around him, but he stepped in front of her.

"There is no excuse for you. You smell," he told her, his disgust written on his face.

She looked up at him in confusion, then back at the students, moving in front of them more. "Um, ok, whatever, we're just trying to get past you," she told him.

"You're a fucking disgusting mutant, aren't you?!" He demanded in a raised tone.

Kerri's eyes widened a little. "Uh, I don't know what you mean, I'm not disgusting," she said, trying to break the tense situation.

"They shouldn't let abominations like you breed! They should take you and your spawn out to the field and shoot you, put you out of our misery!" He declared, stepping closer.

Kerri could feel Ben tensing up, preparing for a fight, and a couple of the other kids as well. She put her arms out a little to back them up.

"It's true, ain't it? You're pregnant with a mutant abomination, aren't you?" Kerri looked back, shaking her head to the class with a look saying she couldn't believe how crazy this guy was, knowing they were muttering about that piece of information to each other. "Just like that man said!"

Kerri looked back to the tall, bulky man in front of her. "What man?" She asked, looking past his shoulder. She was distracted for a moment, looking for who he was talking about, who would know about her and her situation, and wasn't prepared for what happened next.

Kerri doubled over, suddenly feeling her stomach in the back of her throat as it's contents were forced out of her violently.

The man withdrew his fist from her stomach and Kerri fell forward, hands reach out to catch something before she hit the ground, but the man stepped back, out of her reach, punching her in the back of her head on the way down.

She landed on her forearms and knees, her face hitting the ground before she raised it up. Her vision was hazy, fogged by tears and black on the edges.

"Scum!" The man yelled, kicking her in the stomach. "You and your seed don't deserve to live in this world!"

Kerri felt the pain of his foot after it had gone, especially in her rib, but she was having trouble hearing; all she could hear was the blood rushing around her brain and her heart pounding in her ears. The darkness on the edge of her vision throbbed with the pounding in her head.

She wasn't quite aware of what was going on, the pain in her rib and head making it so she couldn't quite tell what was happening. She lifted her eyes as far as she could, only able to see up to the man's knee, and recognized Ben's leg as well.

Ben's leg moved and the man was on the ground with her, holding his face. He scooted back and scrambled up, running away.

Someone pulled Kerri up, but she couldn't tell who, her head was pounding so hard at the differences in blood levels trying to move through her brain, her rib felt bruised and sore.

They got her into the van and she assumed on the way to the mansion, but she blacked out before they'd gotten far.

* * *

Kurt was watching as the students practiced the plays they were presenting to the class the next week, when he heard Professor Xavier calling him to the med lab.

He stood, wondering why he was being called. "I vill be back, keep practicing," he told the students as he stood and made his way out of the class room to the med lab.

Kerri felt herself being moved and opened her eye, but it barely moved enough for her to see what was going on.

"Vhat happened?!" She heard Kurt's voice demanding. "I zhought it vas just a field trip!"

"It was," she heard Xavier tell him. "The students said that there was a man who came up to her on their way into the store, speaking in anti-mutant terms, and attacked her."

"V- Vhat? Anti mutant? Aber, you can't tell she is ein mutant, not like- not like some of zhe ozhers-" Kurt started, confused.

"And, he mentioned her- condition," Xavier interrupted to tell him.

"Condition?" Kurt asked in confusion.

"Pregnant," Kerri gasped out due to her sore insides.

"Yes, that condition," Xavier agreed. "Welcome back to the world of the conscious," he greeted with a grim smile.

Kerri groaned in reply, her arms tightening around her stomach. "Ahhh!" She yelled as her arm pushed on her rib.

Dr. McCoy stepped closer to the bed, letting the cart he was pushing stop at the bed side. "Careful there, I haven't had time to look at your injuries, yet."

Kurt grabbed her hand, pulling it to his lips. "Liebling, are you ok?" He asked.

"Y-eah," she answered, still in a gasp.

"No talking, I'm afraid, not until I get a chance to look at your wounds," Dr. McCoy told her.

"Yes, let Hank look at those before any more movement. You don't want to make them worse."

He shined a light in her eyes."Well, Kerri, aside from the scrape on your forehead, it looks like you have a very mild concussion, and you'll have a not so little goose egg on the back of your head for a little bit, but I don't feel any fractures," he told her, feeling the back of her head. "Can I have you lift your shirt so I can see your rib, please?" Dr. McCoy asked. Kerri raised her shirt, letting him see the redness and swelling at the bottom of her ribs. "Hmm, tell me if this hurts," he said, pressing on her breast bone.

"Ah- a little, not really," she told him. He pushed near her bottom rib. "Ahhh!" Kerri almost screamed, her still only mostly conscious body, rolling, trying to get away from the pain.

Kurt grabbed her hand, pulling it to his chest, not sure what to do.

"Yes, it seems as though it is broken, we'll take an x-ray to see how bad it is," Dr. McCoy said, feeling around the area, down onto her stomach, which was also red and starting to get puffy. "Oh, dear, this is- right over-" He stopped, turning and getting his stethoscope. He pressed it to her stomach, moving it around, pressing it in a bit in some places.

"Vhat is it, vhat is wrong?" Kurt asked, worried by the doctor's calm, but hurried nature.

It was another few moments of trying to listen before Dr. McCoy pulled back and lowered his stethoscope from his ears. "That kick, it was right where the- womb- is. There's a chance- but it cold be ok..."

"What are you saying, Hank?" Professor Xavier asked.

Dr. McCoy motioned them away from the bed that Kerri was laying on and spoke quietly. "Well, nothing is certain; I don't have a fetal doppler laying around, or an ultrasound, but there's a chance that- with the force of that kick being enough to fracture her rib, and the swelling that's already taking place before the bruise is even visible- that, not everyone made it..." He looked down, hating to be the bearer of bad news.

Kurt made to move toward Kerri, but Dr. McCoy stopped him. "You have to stay calm, it's important that you don't panic; with the unknown condition the baby is in, it could make it worse if Kerri starts panicking and getting stressed."

Kurt took a breath and looked over at Kerri. He had to keep it together. He went back to the bed and took Kerri's hand.

She looked up at him. "Did he say what I think I heard him say?"

"You heard him from over here?" He asked.

"Well, I do have pretty good hearing, and there's not much back ground noise here. So?" She asked soberly.

Kurt tried to hold back his worry. "Vhat do you zhink you heard him say?"

Kerri studied his eyes for a moment. "That the- ... That I'm not pregnant anymore..." The false strength in Kurt's eyes wavered, trying to water, and he looked away. A sob pressed in Kerri's chest, bubbling up through her throat. She closed her eyes and turned toward the ceiling, sobbing, "It's all my fault!"

* * *

Kurt visited Kerri in the med lab after classes had ended. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Ok," Kerri told him, but Kurt could hear the low note in her voice.

"Has Dr. McCoy said anyzhing vone vay or anozher yet?" he asked.

"Not yet, he's trying to get someone to lend him an ultrasound machine so he can take a look."

Kurt put his hand on her cheek and leaned close. "Aber, no news is good news, right? At least it's not bad news?"

Kerri shrugged. "I guess."

"And nozhing has happened to you, like it vould if somezhing vas wrong, right?" He asked hopefully.

Kerri lifted a shoulder. "No."

"Gute," he said, kissing her hand. "Zhen let's hope for the best."

* * *

Kurt woke up to Dr. McCoy patting him on the back. "I think you've gotten less sleep than I have while trying to get an ultrasound," he smiled.

Kurt turned back to Kerri. "Is she going to be ok? She seems to be sleeping a lot," he asked.

"Well, I'm sure that's partly to do with the pain killers I've been giving her for her rib, but also, she doesn't really have anything to do while she's awake and you're not here. It's actually very normal, don't worry."

Kerri moved, groggily looking around, her eyes settling on Kurt. "Kurt, did you go to bed at all?" she asked.

Kurt smiled at her, saying, "I just vanted to see your face first zhing vhen I voke up."

Kerri's brow furrowed with concern. "I'll take that as a no, then," she looked at her lap and glanced at where Dr. McCoy had settled, across the room near his office. "You don't need to worry about me so much, he's giving me the good stuff, you know, hardly remember my name sometimes," she joked badly.

"Liebling, you are my ozher half, you can't ask me not to vorry about you," he told her with a tender smile.

Kerri looked back at the blankets on her lap. "How are classes going?"

"Good, your classes like not having to be grown up und do mazh all zhe time," he told her jokingly.

"I'll bet," she answered. "And did you tell them not to get comfortable because I'm coming back soon?"

"Zhey said you can have as much time as you need," he told her, smiling.

"No way," she told him. "Not with you running yourself ragged trying to accommodate my classes into yours and staying up all night next to me... You really need to get some sleep, I can almost see bags under your eyes, through the image inducer," she told him, her hand on his.

"Ah liebling, you vorry so much, but you don't need to vorry zhat much about me," he told her.

Kerri raised her eyebrows and quoted his words back to him, "liebling, you are my other half, you can't ask me not to worry about you."

Kurt felt his face heat a little. "I am allowed to vorry, you are zhe vone in zhe bed sleeping all zhe time," he told her.

Kerri glanced to where Dr. McCoy was still sitting. "I'm not sleeping all the time," she told him.

Kurt looked at her in surprise. "Vhat else are you doing, zhen?"

"Day dreaming," she told him with a blush.

"Ja? Vell, I guess you do have a vedding to plan- Ah! I forgot to take your ring to get sized," he told her.

Kerri smiled. "It's ok," she told him.

After a couple more days in the med lab, Kerri was allowed to leave, and she returned to teaching her class in the library.

"So, what did you all learn in drama while I was gone?" She asked.

"That being a kid is funner than being an adult," Ben said, and the other kids agreed.

Kerri lifted her hand as though she was going to scold them, but said, "True. Ok, now on with learning to be an adult..."

The day went by smoothly, even though Kurt brought his drama class to the library so he could keep an eye on her.

As they were walking out of the large room after classes were over, Kurt took her hand, smiling at her, and she smiled back. "How vas zhe first day back?"

"It was ok," she told him. "I'm not completely healed, though, my stomach and side still hurt."

"If I knew who zhat man vas..." Kurt trailed off, glaring at the floor.

Kerri stopped walking, and he stopped as well. "Go ahead, I'll meet you down there, just have to stop at the bathroom," she told him. Kurt smiled and let her go.

Later that night, Kerri was making her middle of the night trip to the bathroom, rubbing by her sore side. 'I must have slept on it,' she thought, trying to stretch out the muscles.

It was a couple of days after that, on Saturday, when she saw the blood.

She was making her way to see Dr. McCoy as fast as her body could stand to move, when Kurt caught up to her.

"Ah, hallo, liebling, how are you doing?" He asked as he kept up with her.

"I- I'm-" she stopped and looked around to make sure that no one was around. "Kurt, I'm- bleeding," she told him.

"Bleeding," he asked, startled. "Vhere? I don't see any blood, are you alright, liebling?" He started looking around her. "Is your rib ok?"

"My rib hurts, but, I'm not bleeding where you can see," she told him. "It's somewhere... you can't see..." she said lamely.

Kurt's eyes jumped to hers. "Ve need to get you to Dr. McCoy," he said, taking hold of her and teleporting them.

A cloud of smoke and the sound of the atmosphere adjusting to their sudden arrival announced them, and Kurt called out, "Dr. McCoy, Dr. McCoy, ve need you!"

Dr. McCoy walked out of his office in the corner of the med lab and made his way toward them. "What seems to be the problem?"

"She is bleeding," Kurt said, almost picking Kerri up to carry her to Dr. McCoy.

"I can walk, Kurt, it's ok," she complained, but he didn't let go.

Dr. McCoy directed her to lay on the bed, pulling up a machine. "It's not an ultrasound, but I did manage to put something together, let's see what we can see with it."

The machine had a small screen on it, and it was a wash of grey, white, and black, but there wasn't any distinguishable shapes.

After a few minutes, he put the wand down and looked at the floor before looking at them. "I'm not seeing anything, but, since the machine has never been tested before, I can't be sure that it's working properly."

"So, zhere is still a chance?" Kurt asked.

"Yes," Dr. McCoy answered.

"What about the bleeding?" Kerri asked.

"Well, to some extent, a little bleeding is ok, but if it is heavy, that's when it's a danger," he explained. "I- I've been researching," he told them.

Kerri nodded her head slowly, "well, I- it wasn't very much blood..."

Kurt put his forehead against her. "Vell, zhank Gott for zhat..."

* * *

Kerri woke up the next day to more pain in her stomach.

She ignored it and got ready for class, getting to the library and sitting at her normal chair. The students all made their way in and sat down, pulling out their books.

Kerri was hurting, so bad that she was tempted to go ask Dr. McCoy for some more pain meds, but she put her head down on the table and tried to deal with it.

The students were taking that as having a day off, but in her pained state, she snapped at them, "Hey! Just because I'm dying, doesn't mean you get to slack off. Get back to work."

She felt the pain lessen a little for a bit, but it soon came back and she was gritting her teeth and trying not to hit her head against the table.

A hair tickled her nose, and she was distracted a few times at trying to get rid of it, but it seemed to avoid her and her awareness of the pain would come back.

One of the students came up to her. "I have a question, when you're doing the taxes on groceries, how do you do it again?"

Kerri looked up and saw the girl looking at her. She smiled a little. "You take the sales tax, which is four percent, then make sure it's as a decimal, point zero four percent, then times it by the total of the purchases, that's the tax, then you add the total amount from the purchases and that's the total."

"Oh... Ok, but how do you know what the decimal of four percent is?" She asked.

"You divide the percent number, four, by the total percent, one hundred," she said, then paused, her hand moving to her mouth as a sneeze came. Then came a gushing between her legs, and her face reflected her shock. "Um... Um, I have to- I'll be right back," she told them, standing and hurrying to the bathroom.

When she'd pulled down her pants, she saw a large clot. She stared at it, not sure what to do, then picked it up, she stared at it for a moment, her hands trembling, causing her to fumble, dropping it. It fell to the toilet, and she looked down at her pants. Her face reddened. It looked like she'd had an accident; all down the inside of her pants and legs, but it wasn't urine, it was blood.

In shock, she stared back and forth from her pants to the toilet, where the lump of tissue had settled to the bottom.

She looked up at the door and around. "What the- what the fuck?! What the fuck do I do?!"

After cleaning up with shaky hands, Kerri hurried to her room and changed, then went down to the drama room, opening the door and looking in.

Kurt looked up and saw her, peeking silently through the door, unsurely, and he stood from his desk. "Gute vork everyvone, keep practicing, don't forget zhe lighting and curtain prompts, I vill be back," he told the students who were rehearsing for the plays that had been pushed off until the next few days.

He stepped out into the hall with Kerri and closed the door. "Vhat is wrong? Liebling, vhat happened?" He asked, worried by the look on her face. She grabbed him and pressed close against him, unable to hold her tears back. "Liebling, liebling, are you ok?" he stroked her hair, her back, squeezed her tight, whatever he could think to try to calm her down.

Kerri pressed closer against him and through her silent sobs she managed to say, "It's gone, it's gone, I know it is..."

Kurt froze, then his eyes closed in pain. "Are you sure, liebling?" She couldn't answer, just sob in reply, and he pulled her as close as he could, his hands clutching at her in their shared sadness.

There was the almost silent noise of Xavier's wheelchair moving over the carpet, but neither looked up until he spoke to them. "Are you two alright?" Kerri didn't say anything, hiding her face and weak moment, and Kurt just held her close. "I see." He put his head down for a moment, then lifted it. "Don't worry, Kerri I've had Jean cover your class, and Kurt, I can watch the drama students practice, you two, perhaps you should go to the hospital."

"Zhank you, Professor," Kurt said as he had almost passed him.

_'It's no problem, Kurt, just make sure Kerri will be ok, and yourself as well,' _he answered.

Kurt drove while Kerri stared out the window, trying not to cry. They arrived and went to the emergency room, where Kerri explained the first half of what had happened and Kurt explained the last half, then they were immediately whisked to to a bed in a room.

Kerri sat on the edge of it while Kurt stood beside her.

The nurse came in, pulling a machine behind her, then left, and Kerri recognized the machine as an ultrasound.

They waited silently, neither sure what to say, both hoping it was just a terrible dream, until a doctor came in.

She gloved up and was talking to them, reassuring, saying that a little blood is normal, and she'll just see what is going on, but Kerri wasn't paying attention.

"Ok, lay back and we'll put this jelly on you, it's a little cold," she warned, but Kerri still gasped a little in surprise. The doctor looked around on the fuzzy black and white screen. "How far along did you say you were?"

"About... Ten or eleven weeks," Kerri mumbled.

The doctor stopped at a part of the screen that looked like there was a black spot inside of a little bit of weirdly shaped emptiness that could be made out, surrounded by more black. She stopped and looked up at them, then put the wand down and handed Kerri the box of tissues. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Kurt felt his heart breaking more, now that it was confirmed, and his hand clutched at Kerri's.

"We'll need to get the rest of the tissue out so that there's no complications later," the doctor told them. "We have a tech available now. Mr. Wagner, you may want to leave the room," she said, standing and writing on the clipboard. Kurt looked down at Kerri in question, and she nodded.

He reluctantly left, standing out side of the room, watching until a tech came in, bringing a machine and a bottle of fluid.

After about half an hour, the tech left, leaving Kerri in the room alone, and Kurt stopped her. "Is- is it ok if I-"

The tech nodded. "You can go in," she answered his unasked question.

Kurt opened the door to see Kerri laying on her side facing away from him. He walked to her and put his hand on her side, then leaned down and held her.


	11. No trace

**[AN: Alright, new job in a while! Not much else to talk about in the real world. Please feel free to review, message me, or just read!]**

* * *

After the hospital, they'd ended up in Kurt's room, and he was holding Kerri close against him, rubbing her side and back as she silently cried into his chest.

"Liebling, I love you," he told her. "It vill be ok..." He trailed off, not sure how to continue. He knew that those were the right words to say, or what should be in this situation, but he didn't know how it would be ok; his baby had died before he'd even been able to see it, before it had been able to live outside of the womb, smell a flower, see a sunrise...

Kerri's sniffle increased as she took a breath to tell him, "It's my fault..."

Kurt looked down at her, staring at the top of her head. "It's not your fault, liebling... It is zhat... I can't even call him a man..."

"It is my fault... If I hadn't stopped training, maybe I could have-"

Kurt cut her off, pulling her so he could look into her eyes. He stared for a moment, shocked that she really thought it was her fault. "It is not your fault, if you had kept training, zhen zhere might have been an accident during zhat instead," he told her.

"But, if I'd been paying more attention," she started, but Kurt turned to look at her more fully.

"Kerri, zhere is nozhing you could have done, he vas zhere to hurt somevone, und you vere zhere," he pulled her closer, kissing her lips. "Nozhing. It is not your fault," Kurt tried to assure her.

"What if it's some kind of karma because I was thinking about- about-" She broke down and Kurt pulled her close again.

"Liebling, ah, liebling," he didn't know what to say, how to tell her that it wasn't true, all he could do was pull her as close as he could and comfort her, his words slipping out in German.

It didn't seem that Kerri was able to stop crying, so Kurt held her close. He tilted her chin up, telling her he loved her, that everything would be ok, kissed her, and kept kissing her. She kissed back, and they clutched each other, kissing, trying to kiss the pain away.

Finally, she fell asleep and Kurt smoothed her hair out of her face, pulling the blankets up around her as he climbed out of the bed.

He knew it was after dinner, and he hopped that everyone was in bed. He made his way into the kitchen and pulled out a soda, chugging it for a moment before pulling it away from his mouth and thinking that it tasted too sweet.

"What's up with you, Elf?" Logan asked from the doorway.

Kurt looked back at him then back to his soda. He didn't know what to say to his friend. "I- ... Kerri- ..." He sighed.

"Something happen to the Kid again? That guy come back?" He asked, and Kurt could feel the coil inside of Logan being tightened.

"Nein, he didn't come back, und, Kerri... Zhe baby..." He trailed off, still not wanting to accept it.

Kurt could hear as Logan's fists tightened and the adamantium slid out of his knuckles, he knew it was involuntary, brought on by rage. Logan didn't say anything, just stood there. Kurt stared at his soda, thinking of taking another drink, but put off but the too sugary taste.

"Can't say that I know what to say," Logan said, walking to the fridge. "You want a beer?" Kurt turned to him, unsure what to say, since he was still under age in America. Logan tossed him a bottle and sat at the table, waiting for him to sit as well.

"I- ah, I'm not supposed-"

"Come on, I've been to Germany, know the laws there, I know you've drank beer before, and compared to there, this is just about piss water. Besides, you look like you need it," Logan told him.

Kurt sat down and opened the bottle. He took a gulp, and had to admit, it hit the spot better than the soda, even though Logan was right; it did taste more like piss water compared to the brews he used to sip before moving to America.

Logan stood and got them both another. "Know it ain't much, but like I said, look like ya need it."

They'd almost gone through the three six packs Logan kept in the fridge and had been sitting mostly in silence, but it was making Kurt feel better. "She blames herself," he said.

Logan looked up and finished the liquid in his bottle. "She shouldn't," he said. "But 'course I'm sure it's one of those mental grief things that don't make sense. More in McCoy's court, or the Professor's."

Kurt nodded. "I tried to tell her zhat it vasn't her fault, aber..."

"She didn't believe you?" Kurt shook his head in agreement. "Rough," Logan commented, but Kurt could hear the camaraderie in his voice.

Kurt climbed the stairs, going back to his room, taking off his clothes and pulling on pajama pants before getting under the sheets and pulling Kerri close again. She cuddled closer, burying her nose into his chest.

As he drifted to sleep, he wished that he could just lay there and hold her close in his bed without the burden of sadness and loss hanging over them, that Kerri could be happy again, and that if he put his hand on her stomach that they could be one happy family.

He put his hand on her stomach, of course, he didn't feel anything, but even though he never had, it still felt emptier some how.

A few hours later, Kerri woke up and made herself climb over Kurt, making her way to the bathroom.

She finished washing her hands and closed the door behind her. She walked down the hall and paused outside of her door. She really didn't want to be alone...

She didn't know if she could stand being alone in her room, or alone at all, after what had happened. She wanted to be with Kurt. She walked to his door, but stood there for a moment, not feeling right about just barging in, and not sure if she should bother him.

Finally she knocked on the door quietly. There was no answer so she knocked quietly again. She was just about to turn around and leave when Kurt opened the door, standing in just pants with his image inducer off.

"Kerri, vhat are you doing out here?" He asked sleepily.

"I- I don't want to be alone..." She admitted.

Kurt took her hand and lead her into the room, closing the door. "I meant vhy are you out zhere, you vere in here before I fell asleep," he told her.

"I... had to, go to the bathroom..." she told him.

Kurt got under the blankets and held her close, cuddling against her. "Liebling, you never have to knock on my door," he told her.

"Eh, Kurt, were you hanging out with Logan?" Kerri asked, her hand going to her nose.

"Vell," he paused, worried he'd done something she hated and would be mad at him for. "Ja..."

She almost smiled at his awkwardness. "I'm not... offended or anything, it's just a strong smell," she told him. "Like you're wearing it instead of drinking it," she teased half heartedly.

Kurt relaxed a little and held her closer and kissed her. "Gute nacht, liebling," he told her.

* * *

Kurt woke up to his alarm and looked down to his shoulder where Kerri was fighting waking up.

He smoothed his hand over her cheek and kissed her head before moving her and getting up. He turned off the alarm and went to his closet.

He stared at his clothes for a few minutes, thinking that it wasn't fair that after what had happened the world was still going on, that he still had to get up and teach, and so did Kerri.

Kurt heard her moving from behind him and pulled his pants up quickly, buttoning them as he turned to see if she was really awake.

Kerri was sitting up, looking at Kurt and rubbing her eyes, which were full of crust and dried tear trails.

She slowly stood and moved to him, wrapping her arms around him. Kurt pulled her closer, feeling as her eyes started leaking again.

After Kurt finished dressing, he walked Kerri to her room, since she was still wearing the same clothes as she had yesterday.

Xavier stopped them as he passed. "Excuse me, Kerri, I wanted to let you know that I've given you the day off today," he told them. Kerri nodded and Xavier looked at Kurt. '_You may have the day off as well, if you wish.' _Kurt shook his head, thinking that if he didn't have something to do, he'd just sit around and dwell on it, and Xavier nodded.

Kurt kissed Kerri at her door and left her to go work, and Kerri went into her room, changing into her pajamas and laid on her bed.

Kurt stretched, watching as the last of the students left the room. He was glad classes were over; it was hard watching the students perform and trying to concentrate on what they were doing when, inside, he was worrying about Kerri and feeling loss.

Kerri woke up to a knocking on the door. She stood and opened the door, seeing Kurt there.

"Kerri," he started, but didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected to see her standing there in her pajamas at almost dinner time. "Can I come in?" Kerri moved back and let him enter, going and laying on her bed again. "Are- are you going to come down for dinner?" He asked.

Kerri shook her head. "I'm not hungry," she mumbled.

"Have you eaten at all?" He asked, and she shook her head again.

Kurt brought her some food, and managed to get her to eat a couple of bites, but she kept insisting that she wasn't hungry, and after the couple bites, she pushed the food away and laid back down.

Kurt stayed with her, holding her close until it was time for him to go to bed, then he kissed her and went to his room.

Kerri laid in her bed, but couldn't actually fall asleep, nor could she stand being alone, so she climbed up and out of bed. She walked through the halls, but the ache was still there, and being alone in the halls wasn't any better than being alone in her room, so she walked to Kurt's room and stood outside of the door.

He'd told her that she didn't have to knock, but she still felt a little awkward, especially since he was asleep and wouldn't know that she was there with him.

She stood there for a moment, wanting to open the door and go in, and heard a door down the hall opening as one of the other boys in the dorm got up to use the bathroom. The noise made her leap into action, opening the door and closing it behind her.

"Kurt," she whispered. "Kurt, it- it's me..." She walked to his bed in the dark, trying not to run into anything or trip.

"Kerri?" Kurt asked sleepily.

"Yeah," she said, reaching the bed.

"Herkommen," he told her, pulling back the blankets and reaching out. {come here}

She climbed into the bed, laying against him, her cheek on his bare chest, and listened as he fell back to sleep.

* * *

Kurt woke up and looked down at Kerri. It was the fourth night in a row she'd come to him, unable to sleep alone.

He climbed out of bed and went to the closet, putting on some clean clothes. He turned and looked where Kerri was still sleeping, now curled around the blankets he'd been in.

He was worried about her; professor Xavier had given her the whole week off, and all she'd done is sleep, in her room during the day, and in his room at night. Kurt left his room and made his way to Professor Xavier's office, knocking on the door.

_'Come in,' _came the reply, and Kurt opened the door, entering and sitting in front of the desk.

"Professor, I- I am concerned about Kerri," he said.

"Understandable," he answered. "What specifically is it that is worrying you?"

"She- all she has done for zhe last veek is slept..." Kurt looked up, noticing that Professor Xavier didn't look surprised.

"Kurt, I though you had realized... I'm sorry, I'll explain. Everyone deals with unhappiness and grief differently. Some people try to forget it, move on as soon as possible, some hide it, some try to go on, hoping that their normal routine will help them cope, and some people are escapists, trying to avoid the pain. Kerri, is an escapist."

Kurt stared at him as though he was saying something unbelievably rude. "Vhat do you mean?"

"Well, let's look back, shall we? Far back, when Kerri found out she was a mutant, and everyone surrounding her was persecuting her, what did she do? She ran away."

"She vas kicked out of her house," Kurt said.

"Yes, she was going to be kicked out of her house, and she took the opportunity to take what she could and run before actually being thrown out." Xavier gave him a small smile. "And when she was first here, when her mother was sick, what did she do then?"

"She vent to see her mozher," Kurt said unsurely.

"Well, I was giving her a ticket to visit her mother, and telling her to take a vacation from school, but instead, she took the ticket without excepting it and ran away, trying to sneak out without anyone noticing. I know that last year you two had some trouble due to your situation, what with you learning to be a teacher and her being a student, and when she was afraid that she was going to be hurt, what did she do?"

"Stayed avay from me," Kurt muttered to himself.

"Actually, she got a series of jobs, saving up money that I'm sure she still has saved somewhere, so that she could move away, the most adult form of running away," Xavier told him, watching his reaction. "Now, the pain and grief are big, maybe too much for her, and the only way she can get away from it is to not think about it, but the only way you can turn off your thoughts is to turn off your brain, so she's running away from consciousness."

Kurt looked up at him. "But- but she..." he trailed off, wondering how all of those things constituted running away, but then remembered the way Kerri fought in the danger room; run to split up the attackers, maybe lay a trap, then fight them in smaller numbers...

Could it really be true that Kerri was scared of everything deep down? That she was just forever putting up the brave front he always saw?

"Don't worry, Kurt; after she has had enough time for the pain to dull, she will be fine."

Kerri woke up in Kurt's room by herself. Strange, he usually kissed her goodbye before he went to work. 'Ah, it's Saturday, no work. He probably wanted to let me sleep in,' she thought as she climbed out of the bed and rubbed at the crusties in the corners of her eyes. They were a lot fewer than they had been, although it could be just that she'd run out of tears to cry.

She climbed out of the bed and pulled on her clothes, pausing to check if anyone was there before she went outside of the room.

As she made her way to the bathroom to shower, she saw Scott coming her direction. As he passed, there was a hand on her shoulder.

She looked back and saw Scott pausing, trying to comfort her through a brief touch before continuing on his way.

Her eyebrow raised at his weird behaviour, and she turned, again on her way to shower.

Kurt opened his door, expecting Kerri to still be asleep, but to his surprise, she wasn't there.

The student and faculty noticed as Kerri walked through the halls that she seemed to actually be there, not the hollow shell wandering around that she had been, and not quite fully there, but responsive at least, and maybe a little more back to the short and untalkitive girl who had first arrived.

She started teaching her classes again the next week, even though she still went to Kurt's room every night.

About the middle of the next week, she was called to professor Xavier's office along with a few other teachers; Logan, Ororo, Kurt, and Jean were there as well.

The Professor started off, "we have found a new mutant, he can glance into the future, a little ahead of time, but also, it seems, to see how people may die. I've brought you all here to meet him, although he may be a little rough at first..." There was no discussion past that, so Xavier nodded, mentally signaling Scott to open the door and bring in the boy.

He was about thirteen, wearing torn jeans and a t shirt under an old jean jacket, his longish brown hair was messy, and his brown eyes looked around the room challengingly, but Kerri didn't notice, she was sitting in her usual spot on the couch, not really seeming to pay attention to what was going on, though she was.

The boy's stubborn, defiant look challenged everyone in the room, but no one reacted.

"Everyone, this is Brandon," Xavier introduced.

"Nice to meet you," Kurt said politely with a smile, and Jean smiled warmly, Ororo was pleasant, but Logan and Scott didn't say anything, and Kerri didn't even look up from where she was staring.

Brandon puffed out a breath like he thought they were all stupid, and looked away. "Whatever."

The corner of Kerri's lip twitched as she huffed at his bratty attitude. 'I hope I never sounded like that,' she thought to herself.

There was a little more introducing, some welcoming, a nice quiet conversation, until Brandon spoke up. "Like any of you really care! I don't need to be here, I'm outta here!" He turned and threw the door open, storming out, slamming the door behind him.

"He needs an adjustment," Kerri muttered, huffing at how stupid his behaviour looked.

Xavier almost asked Logan to follow him knowing he needing some straight talk, but he noticed the silent, mocking laugh on Kerri's lips. "Kerri, could you go after him, please? You can show him anything he wants to see, and... You may need to be a little forceful as well," he told her.

The group watched as she stood and silently made her way to the door, the only ones not wondering if she was ready for it being Logan and the Professor.

Kerri went down the hall until she saw Brandon leaning against the stairs in the entrance hall. She stopped by him, still not saying anything.

"You can't make me stay," he told her rudely.

"Don't want to," she told him. "What do I care if you stay."

He fumed a little, not getting the response he'd wanted. "Well, good!"

Kerri felt the brattiness irritating her. "Good, get the Hell out of here. What's stopping you? It certainly isn't me."

Brandon looked up at her. "Don't you know you're gonna die!" He yelled.

"Don't you know we're all going to die, except maybe Logan?" She asked in her flat unemotional voice.

"Do you want to know how you die!?" He threatened.

Kerri shrugged. "It'll happen when it happens, whether I know how it's going to or not."

He almost growled. "You think you all can really help me? You're all stupid, stupid bitch!"

Kerri's hand shot out and grabbed his forearm, swinging him around so he fell sideways to his knees. "You think knowing how you're going to die is scary? That isn't anything. Try seeing your nightmares come to life and having no way to escape, I'd love to show you that," she told him, putting off a felling that demanded respect, knowing that the effect he was feeling was feeling small and helpless.

"You're the stupid little self absorbed brat who can't see past his own nose, you think that everyone is paying attention to you, thinking about you? Other people have other things on their mind and are too busy worrying about other things to pay attention to your pathetic crybaby, thinks he's a tough guy act. The reality is that I didn't know who you were until a few minutes ago, I don't care now, and if you leave, I probably won't think about you again." She let go of his arm, but he didn't stand. "I'm supposed to be giving you a tour or something, so I'll let you see anything around here that you want, but if you want the truth, when I arrived here, I couldn't be around anyone when I was sleeping, because I was too worried that the monster inside would escape and terrorize people, but now, I can sleep wherever I want because I've accepted my powers, become comfortable with them, know that they're just a part of me, because of the training I've gotten here." She started off toward the door. "Now stop acting like a little bitch trying to be a scary badass and come on."

He watched her leaving and scrambled up, following her out and around to the tennis courts and pool.

Scott stood by the doorway to the hall, shaking his head. He hadn't forgotten how ruthless Kerri could be, but maybe the Professor had.

* * *

Kerri woke up and got ready for the day, walking around only half there. She drove to the store, going through the motions, putting things from the shelves into the cart in front of her and moving on.

When she'd finally gotten all of the groceries and taken them out to the van, she stuffed them into the cargo space, then stood back, taking all three of the carts to the cart coral. 'Maybe I should give extra credit to my students to come help,' she thought, walking between the van and the van next to it. She opened the door, climbing in when a sudden screeching filled her head, like a bat's radar bouncing around in her skull.

"Ah!" She yelled as she fell backwards out of the doorway of the van, clutching her head and clenching her eyes shut.

A hand clamped over her mouth and she struggled, trying to head butt whoever was behind her, but no one seemed to be there. She tried to turn and fight, but the screeching in her head got louder, bouncing around harder. She tried to scream, but couldn't even hear her own voice over the noise in her skull.

It felt like her head was tearing apart from the inside out and her senses were pulled in, unable to feel any farther than the darkness that seemed to be around her.

She struggled against whatever it was holding her, although she couldn't feel anything around her. After what seemed like forever, she felt darkness come over her mind. The last thing she was aware of was hitting metal.

* * *

Kurt knocked on Kerri's door, waiting for a while. He finally gave up, walking away to find Logan in the kitchen.

"Logan, have you seen Kerri around?" He asked.

Logan looked up at him. "Nah, Kid hasn't gotten back from grocery shopping yet."

Kurt nodded, walking out to the garage. Sure enough the van hadn't returned.

A few hours later, Kurt went to professor Xavier's office and knocked on the door.

_'Come in,' _he answered, and Kurt entered. "How can I help you, Kurt?"

"I- vell, I am vorried about Kerri," he said. "She isn't back yet, und, she is normally back hours ago."

Professor Xavier looked up at him from the papers he'd been reading. "Well, I'm sure she's ok, she did use to go somewhere before grocery shopping, maybe she's been running a few errands and is finishing the grocery shopping now," he offered.

"Ja, maybe," Kurt said, turning to leave. "Sorry to bozher you Professor," he told him, leaving.

More time passed, and eventually it was to the point that Kerri had left before breakfast, and it was now after dinner.

Kurt closed the door to the garage, leaning against it for a moment. It wasn't like Kerri to stay away for so long, the only time she'd come close is when they'd been on missions or when they'd gone to see her mother when she was in the hospital.

He made his way to the Professor's office again, opening the door without knocking, stepping in and seeing that Scott was there as well.

"Excuse me, Professor, Scott, aber, I am very vorried about Kerri," he told Xavier.

"I understand, Kurt, and I agree it has been an extraordinarily long time since she left. I'll reach out and see if I can find her," he comforted, closing his eyes. His eyebrows met, then his head moved, showing his determination. He opened his eyes, a look of confusion on his face.

"Vhat is wrong, Professor?" Kurt asked.

Xavier looked to the side, still confused. "I- can't find her anywhere," he said.

Kurt straightened in shock, but Scott spoke up, "Maybe she doesn't want to be found."

"What are you saying, Scott?" Xavier asked.

"I'm saying maybe she ran away again, she does have a habit of it," he answered.

Kurt looked at him, surprised. "She didn't, she vouldn't have."

"I know you think that, Kurt, but she does have the track record of running when something goes wrong, and she hasn't exactly been happy here lately," Scott said as he met his gaze.

"Nein, she vasn't happy, aber she vas getting besser," Kurt defended.

"I don't know how much it helped that she didn't really want to be a teacher, an X-Man, or be here in the first place," Scott mentioned.

"Vhat are you talking about?" Kurt asked.

"I mean-"

"Scott, that is enough," Xavier cut him off. "She does have a history of running away, but that doesn't mean that she ran this time."

Kurt unclenched his fists and turned toward the door, vanishing with a Bamf.

Logan was sitting in his usual chair in the kitchen, taking a swig of beer when Kurt appeared with a cloud of smoke and sulphur.

Kurt took one of the unopened beer bottles from the table and opened it, throwing it back and chugging for a moment.

"Whoa there, Fuzzy, what are you doin'?" He asked.

Kurt took a breath as he pulled the bottle away, half empty, and wiped his mouth. "Kerri is still gone, zhe Professor can't find her, und all Scott can do is accuse her of running avay and say zhat she isn't happy and didn't vant to be here in zhe first place," Kurt glowered.

"Sounds like him," Logan grunted. "Wait, the Prof can't find her? With Cerebro?"

"No, he only looked vizh his mind, aber, he still couldn't find her," Kurt told him.

Logan finished his beer. "Let's go, Fuzzy, something ain't right here," he said, making his way to the door. Kurt finished his beer and followed.

* * *

Logan stopped his motorcycle next to the van Kerri had driven to the store.

Kurt climbed off and looked at the van. "It is here, but vouldn't zhe Professor be able to find her if she vas here?"

Logan stepped over the bike. "Something smells here, and it ain't just the food going bad in the back of the van," he said, going to the cargo door and opening it.

Kurt took a step back at the smell of warm milk, almost hot cheese, and too warm produce that had been stuck in a small place together for some time. "Ugh. So here is zhe food, it has obviously been here for a vhile, aber, vhere is Kerri?"

Logan looked around the front, pulling open the driver's door and picking up the keys that had been tossed on the seat. "Kid wouldn't do that, it's too weird," he said, closing the door again. He smelled the keys and sniffed around, turning to the spot behind him where a car was parked. "There's a hint of another scent here, and the Kid, she could have moved to right there," he gestured to the back door of the car. "I can't smell anything else, just... gas... oil... and coffee."

"Coffee?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, coffee grounds, hides smells because it cleans the smell receptors," he said, smelling the keys again and walking around a few steps. He made his way around, moving from sniffing the keys to sniffing the air. He growled. "I can't smell anything, whoever did this did too good of a job covering their scent."

"Or she just left," Scott said as the two explained what they'd found in professor Xavier's office.

"She vouldn't leave!" Kurt told him, _again._

"I don't know, she didn't seem very _there_, maybe she just wandered off and lost track of time," Jean suggested.

"Zhen vhy can't zhe Professor find her?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, Jeannie, it's more than a little coincidence that there's coffee grounds around the spot she was last, too," Logan said.

"Maybe someone dropped a can and it opened, they sell them at the store, it's not like they'd never be in the same place at the same time," Scott said.

Logan growled, about to tell him to shut up, but Xavier interrupted.

"It's true that it could have been an accident, and it is strange that I can't locate her, and that her scent trail stops there, but she could have left," he told them. He could see Kurt about to burst out, so he continued quickly, "but, we will look for her as though something happened."


End file.
